Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Weekly Colts Review

Those blasted, dirty Colts. The Titans are playing the J-Cats Card, and accusing the Colts of dirty hits. Do they hit low? Sure. Are they trying to sack the quarterback? Yes. Are they trying to kill him? No. Furthermore, there's a simple solution to stopping the defense from hitting your QB: PROTECT HIM.

Those blasted, dirty Colts, Part II (not to be confused with ANYTHING remotely related to Gary Glitter or Vietnamese kids). Coach Jeff Fisher didn't appreciate how Peyton Manning and the Colts thought about going for one last play just before halftime. Sure, the Colts had a lead, and the Titans were overmatched, but it's not the first time it's happened. A few years ago, against the Saints, the Colts pulled the same trick. Manning faked the spike, then walked toward the sideline before sprinting downfield. He ended up getting in the end zone. The initial call was a touchdown, but the dreaded "inadvertent whistle" doomed the play to failure. I'll never forget how Jim Mora tried to get his team to rush into the locker room right after that play. Geez...that guy was a ball of fire. And now...for the Obligatory Jim Mora Moment: "PLAYOFFS!? PL-PL-PLAYOFFS!!?"

He heard there were ribs in the end zone. Look at the wheels on Larry Tripplett, who looked like swift-footed Achilles as he returned a fumble 60 yards for a touchdown. Wow! Did the big man rumble or what!!?

Hey, whatever happened to...Glad to see Dwight Freeney get back into the action this week. Defenses always have to plan around him, and he's always disruptive, but he was extremely visible against the Titans. Once again, Flamers, protect your quarterback.

The Toughest Quarterback in Football. Hey, since Byron Leftwich is out, Steve McNair regained his title as the toughest man to ever don a football jersey. And the toughest man to ever writhe in pain after every down. And the toughest man to ever watch his receivers drop passes while sitting on his duff. You see where this is going.

And now, I present to this court, Your Eminence, Sir Drops-A-Lot. Bo Scaife, what a great name. And way to drop those passes in the end zone! You didn't even see Mike Doss coming on the first one, did you? That's okay, neither did I. But the second one? Wow...I heard the doink when it went right off your hands!

"Shady Tactics." This goes back to something I wrote earlier in this post, but the only "shady tactics" involved in the Colts' continual pounding of The Toughest Quarterback in Football was an offensive line that couldn't protect him. Kudos to Coach Dungy for checking the tape.

Power Pellet-less. Pacman Jones must hate the Colts. He's been abused by Reggie Wayne several times, and absolutely smacked on a few punt returns by the Dirty Colts. I'm thinking about renaming him Ms. Pacman. Oh, I'm sure he'll haunt us like the Inky, Blinky and the gang in future years...but for now, he's toast.

Hey, the Colts aren't very good, so we'll throw away some points. What was Tennessee thinking by putting Pacman in for that insanely stupid toss play!!!?? An 11 yard loss, and a missed field goal were the net result.

Punching their ticket. The Colts clinched a playoff spot with their win on Sunday. Next, they can go for homefield advantage and the AFC South Division Championship.

Back into form. After struggling a bit in recent weeks, the Colts D is looking very physical again. I think Cincinnati's scoring bonanza was a jolt of reality.

Fletch Three. Three weeks, three Bryan Fletcher touchdowns. Absolutely phenomenal. "It's all in ballbearings these days!"

That running Edge. I'm telling you, when the Colts R.E.A.D., they win. They need to continue that. I just hope they re-sign Edgerrin James, or get another running back with an "E" in his first or last name. Otherwise, I won't be able to use my acronym anymore. I'm sure you would all cry.

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