Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Somewhere, Jason Whitlock is masturbating in joy...



God Help Us All!!!

And if that wasn't weird enough, I just saw Danny Wuerffel on Fox News Channel talking about Ernesto (he was live from New Orleans). What, is it washed-up QB day or something?

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Comets vs. The Tick!

Content has been down this week on TFT. I have no one to blame but myself...I've been addicted to NCAA '06. That's right, I'm not upgrading to '07. It's because '06 is so much fun...and I'm cheap. At least the brilliant insights provided by Krildog and seconded by Stryder produced an easy win over West Virginia that helped pave the way for a UNIVERSITY OF WILLIAMSBURG NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP. Of course, I watched as pretty much the entire squad graduated, including my fumble-prone "impact player" running back, my two top wide receivers, my tight end, my lousy "complain about but love him for bringing home a national championship" quarterback, my entire secondary, and my top-notch kicker (seriously, the dude was good). In addition, my #3 receiver turned pro and wouldn't be talked out of it (looks like a sure-fire rookie free agent signing for some poor NFL team) and my junior defensive end followed suit.

Fortunately, the defense is anchored by three stud linebackers, and last year's backup defensive backs are actually pretty good. We unfortunately start two freshmen at strong safety and free safety, but both are blue chip recruits. It's amazing how much easier it is to recruit after winning a title. In fact, the Comets had the top recruiting class in all of Division I football!

Not everything is fun and games, however. I have to start a freshman at QB, along with a trio of extremely fast but drop-prone freshman wide receivers. We wiped Michigan off the map in game one (at the Big House, by the way), and then turned around and lost 38-35 to top-ranked Tennessee at home. We gave up a ridiculous late touchdown with less than a minute left after climbing back from a 31-12 deficit (four first half turnovers will do that) to take a 35-31 lead. It was heartbreaking. Goodbye, consecutive national championships. Of course, the Vols had a bone to pick with us last year during our championship run. They finished #3 in the bowl rankings, and missed out on the national title game. In one poll, we were #2, in another, they were #2. But the BCS computer gave us a crack at the title (and we barely held on to beat Iowa).

Our future is secure. One of the stud linebackers is now an impact player, and converting one of my back-up halfbacks to a fullback with a 98 overall rating has paid massive dividends. Our offense (when the freshman QB isn't tossing up INTs) is deadly, with an impact player at tailback, and an impact player at fullback. Combined with an excellent juco transfer at tight end and those super-fast but drop-prone wideouts, we're pretty hard to stop on offense. Considering the last few seasons have been nothing but smashmouth football, it's definitely an awesome change. Currently, we sit #7 in the BCS rankings. And with six undefeated teams still standing tall, it's going to be hard to crack the top five. Unless they all lose, I don't think we'll get a shot at the title. But we're hoping to get another crack at Tennessee in a bowl game. We'd destroy them.

The dynamic offense has produced three Heisman candidates: my young quarterback (who's actually developing well, despite some of my bad decision-making), my top wideout (a really fast guy who's given us the deep threat we've been lacking for three seasons), and my all-world fullback, adept at running up the gut and catching balls out of the backfield.

So unless something big happens among the undefeated teams, the Comets probably won't make it in the national title game. And the weak Big East schedule (I did the world a favor and eliminated Rutgers from the face of college football) won't help either.

Fake football aside, I'm a little disappointed after checking out the DVD review of The Tick vs. Season One box set on IGN. I'm looking forward to the set (and have the previous post to prove it), but it looks like it was produced on the cheap. There are few extras, and the reviewer claims one of the season one episodes was left out. That of course begs the question: in the battle of the Tick vs. Season One, if an episode is left out, does that mean Season One beat the Tick?But if that's true, wouldn't Season One surely be the loser since it's missing an episode? However, if the Tick's missing an episode, he's not really the "winner" either. How's that for running around in circles? Regardless, I'll be picking up the set next Tuesday. After all, my VHS episodes taped off TV are in really, really bad shape.

SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Issue #3



The latest issue hits newstands NOW!

Like ESPN the Mag, it's a little outdated...with the cover story focused on the Virgin Destroyers' first and second round picks!

Friday, August 18, 2006

SOAP!

“That’s it, I’m tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”


Snakes on a Plane (also known as SOAP) is your typical horror/thriller/animals going fucking crazy movie. It has all of the typical plot lines and devices. But this movie has some other things that the “norm” do not:

Samuel fucking L. Jackson

Poisonous fucking Snakes

Air-fucking-plane

First, we have Sam Jackson. He is one bad mother….shut your mouth! He is the Man. That is all that needs to be said. He owns this movie.

Second, we have poisonous snakes. We just don’t have poisonous snakes; we have motherfucking poisonous snakes! Rattlers. Asps. Constrictors. Adders. Vipers. Cobras. Pythons. Most people, outside of snake handlers, have a fear of snakes, especially deadly poisonous ones. The CGI was great. The various deaths shocked and had the crowd cheering. Who knew that fucking snakes were comedic geniuses?

Third, we have an aluminum alloy vehicle at 30,000 feet experiencing major turbulence. Face it, we all have a fear of flying. As Supes reminded us earlier this summer, flying is statistically the safest way to travel. But this movie and its writers never had the conversation with the Last Son of Krypton. Motherfucking planes suck.

With the above three things in summation, you get a kick-ass movie. And I propose the following formula:

Sam Jackson + a plethora of poisonous snakes + Airplane = One damned good time

And if you go see it, please stay for the credits. Cobra Starship’s song and video “Snakes on a Plane: Bring It” is played. Captain Ahab’s “Snakes on the Brain” is also played. Two awesome songs.

The Comets Return!

Early this year, I wrote about the University of Williamsburg Fighting Comets, my Create-A-School dynasty on NCAA 2006. I haven't (and probably won't) upgrade to 2007, because I'm still having fun with the 2006 edition.

The Comets are a Big East team, and we finished the last season ranked #9 overall (we lost to Texas A & M in the Sugar Bowl!). Back for this new football season, the Comets have already shown a decided lack of consistency.

Consider, dear reader, our win over #24 Iowa State. We were unranked at the time (again, despite finishing #9 in the rankings the season before!), and won, in overtime. The final score: 60-58. It took a touchdown with :20 left to even tie the game. The only way we won was by getting Iowa State into the third overtime, where they failed to make their required two-point conversion. We should not have won this game.

Why?

SEVEN TURNOVERS. Take two quarterbacks, set them loose in the air "attack," and you get five interceptions, three for the starter, and two for the guy who replaced him in the second half because I was pissed off. Their combined completion percentage: 40%. Oh, yeah, and then there were two CRITICAL fumbles by my "impact player" running back.

GENERAL LACK OF DEFENSE. Obviously, when a team drops down 58 points on you, your team has some defensive problems on top of its offensive ones. And I just can't figure it out. We've got some actual speed on the defensive side this year, thanks to a terrific trio of freshman linebackers. Yes, I understand freshmen are inherently inconsistent, but these guys are blue-chippers. Actually, considering my team started out with a "D" in defense two seasons ago, and then had a "C-" last season, our big upgrade to "B" this season means we should be better. But, alas, we're not.

SPECIAL TEAMS. I think I finally know where Bill Polian was coming from for all these years with the kickoff specialist thing and the constant harping on kickoffs. My kickers suck. We can't get a deep ball to save our lives. Touchbacks are rare, and since we score a lot, we have a lot of kickoffs. Teams are getting great field position. The current version of NCAA doesn't figure "average starting field position" or anything like that. If it did, the numbers would be a complete embarrassment. Our team speed is pretty low, too, so some of the faster returners are making some terrific runs.

Okay, so we barely beat Iowa State. Losing the game would've probably sealed our fate as far as getting a BCS Bowl is concerned (yes, I'm getting ahead of myself). Yet, somehow, we managed to pull it out.

The next game, we played #5 Michigan. After struggling so much with turnovers and a terrible passing game, the #23 Comets committed fully to the run. We controlled the clock, and shut down the Wolverine's terrific running attack. The result: a grind-it-out 27-20 win (and Michigan returned a kickoff for a TD with :10 seconds left...please review the "SPECIAL TEAMS" entry for a refresher course).

We got a few big pass plays when we needed them, but stuck mostly to the ground game. Michigan couldn't stop MIGHTY IMPACT PLAYER Vince Wilson, the power back from Crawfordsville, Indiana. He stole the show, picking up all the big first downs, and basically just repeatedly kicking Michigan in the nutsack. I mean, he basically tore the Wolverine's scrotum right off (apologies to Stryder, devoted fan of all things Maize and Blue). It was fantastic.

If you're still reading this entry, please keep in mind I'm talking obsessively about a FAKE football team.

After taking down Michigan, the #17 Comets destroyed #19 Oklahoma. We put up 80 points on the Sooners (ironically, Rhett Bomar was their quarterback, a case in which a video game did not parallel real-life). The amazing thing here is that the passing game was on fire, racking up 365 yards and four TDs. I have no idea were this passing ejaculation came from. I guess we used the play-action pass extremely effectively. Oh, and I discovered we actually have a good tight end capable of actually catching a pass on a TE Streak instead of dropping it on contact, as many of the Comets' past tight ends were apt to do.

Next, we enter our Big East schedule ranked #14 overall. Inexplicably, Michigan is still in the top ten. Up next: West Virginia. I hate playing West Virginia. So far, the Comets hold a 2-0 lead in the historical series. But the Mountaineers drive me bonkers. They use one of those weird defenses (typically the 3-3-5 stack or the equally baffling 4-2-5 alignment), and I can't seem to figure out the best way to attack it. I use a lot of single-back ("ace") formations, and running the ball is problematic. My crappy offensive line gets confused, and guys are always running into the backfield. It doesn't matter if we spread, go two TEs, put a wideout in the slot, etc. I seem to run best using an "I" or "strong I" formation.

Then there's passing against West Virginia. Throwing over the middle is completely insane. The stack defenses are always in the middle of the field, so any "in" routes or "slants" seem to always get tipped or intercepted. "Go" patterns and "posts" can be somewhat successful, but in the defense, the "corners" (I think technically they may be safeties) play way off the receivers, and usually have deep responsibility in zone. I guess I'm just having trouble figuring out how to attack this specific type of defense, since I don't see it very often.

Any suggestions?

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Ode to the Krildog

We moved Krildog out today. He's seeking a better life on his own away from the geese and INS target area that is Lake Piedmont. We wish him the best, and remind everyone that if I weren't getting married, he'd have no reason to move out. Ah, but alas, I am getting married (and extremely excited about it!), and that means Krildog had to go.

So after several hours of moving his stuff, we've settled him into (kind of) his spacious apartment at Meridian South. And so, with the Krildog moving on, there's nothing better than a Neil Diamond tribute song penned especially for him.

To the tune of "I am...I said" by Neil Diamond (the greatest and most talented songwriter of this or any other era)

Krildog...I said

Single life's fine
Can't wait to have to have that wife of mine
But the change comes with sacrifice

Lake Piedmont blows, the rent is low
But I can't stop thinkin' about
That good buddy of mine

Mission control's been shut down
And there's an just an empty corner there
Some alone time's nice when I'm at home
But without my pal it ain't "home" no more!

Krildog...I said
But no one's there
And I just noticed
Where in hell is the chair?

Krildog...I cried
Krildog...said I
Just take the couch,
End this move 'fore we die

Gonna get married soon

Ever hear about a short-term guest
Who turned into a full-fledged roommate
And then one day moved out?

Well except for the couch
Which goes out tomorrow
If you speak about me
The story's the same one

I've got an empty apartment now
And it inside you know it seems so strange
Krildog's in his own place now
Even though it still needs arranged!

Krildog...I said
He wasn't there
So no one anwered me
Not my big-screen TV

Krildog...I sighed
Krildog...said I
But I'm alone and there's
No one left to say "hi"

Gonna be married soon

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

New for the Xbox...


NFL Never-Was Maurice Clarett EXPLODES onto the Xbox in this exciting new game from STUDICUSWARE.

YOU control Clarett as he...
  • Declares early for the draft
  • Runs a 4.8 40 at the NFL Scouting Combine
  • Hijacks Columbus with an assault rifle
  • Sues the NFL
  • Sues the NCAA
  • Sues the Ohio State University
  • Accepts money from boosters
  • Approaches god-like status for bringing home a National Title

MLB Trade Turned Movie of the Week

No, I'm not talking about Bowden sandbagging the Reds...we'll get to that later.

As many of you know the Nationals sent Livan Hernandez to the Arizona this week for two minor league prospects. Who are those prospects you ask? Garrett Mock and Matt Chico. Honestly, how great are those last names. These two could be in a some bad movie as partners taking down a corrupt police force.

I can see it now:

"Jamie Foxx...

Colin Farrell...

ARE

Mock & Chico

IN

Diamondbacks Revenge 2: The Curse of Schilling's Ankle."

If you had Steinbach in the Bengals Arrest Pool.....you win a gold star!

I really don't how to handle the Bengals arrests at this point. I thought once camp had started it would calm down, but not for Bengals guard Eric Steinbach, who was arrested earlier this week for boating under the influence. At least these charges are at least creative, memory recalls personnel with the Reds and Bearcats having just been drunk on the road, but now the Bengals are taking to sea.

To recap...Chris Henry has been arrested four times since December, two other '06 draft picks have been arrested since the draft, a defensive guy has been charged with resisting arrest.

Also, Odell Thurman...a center piece to the Bengals D, won't be playing the first four regular season games because he violated the NFL's substance abuse policy.

It sounds like the "Ravens Plan" to get to the Super Bowl is in full force in the 'Nati.

Then there is this other Ohio story with Maurice Clarrett in trouble in again. Loaded guns are generally a bad thing to have in your moving car, especially when they are next to an open bottle of vodka, and oh yeah....a hatchet!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Issue #2



Issue #2...once again I'm not sure if this will become a regular feature...but right now, it amuses me.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Your Hall of Fame Game Recap

A few observations on last night's titanic struggle...

1)The Referees have new uniforms. I didn't think is was possible to hate the refs more (although I was happy to see them call few penalties last night), but now I do. The wider black stripes and slimmer white stripes, as well as the new wavy stripes instead of straight ones, makes them look like they are in a U2 video...and not any of the good ones either....I'm talking Discotheque levels.

2)Jeff Garcia makes me sad. The 1998 Grey Cup MVP has fallen to a new low with the Eagles. Aside from a good scramble or two, his wobbly passes lacked imagination. If Donovan gets hurt...the team will be in bad shape. Granted his stat line wasn't as bad as the.....

3)Raiders QB's - Brooks, Tuiasosopo, & Walter (whoever the hell that is) combined for a dismal stat line of 9 for 28, 121 yrds, 1 TD, 2 INT's. Brooks looked rough too. Hopefully that will change, or maybe they should just sign Jeff George to the training squad now.

4) Robert Gallery - The Raiders picked this guy as the 2nd OVERALL pick in 2004 draft and from the looks of a couple missed tackles last night (and a couple missed years of potential) they probably should have picked the guy that went 3rd. He's a wide out for Arizona...I think his name is Fitzgerald..wonder how that worked out...

5)NFL on NBC - I'm reserving judgment on this until later because I don't feel like they put all their cards out last night. But the fact the Jerome Bettis will be on the pre-game show during the regular season might be enough for me to skip it from now on.

Fantasy Note...Studicus took Chad Johnson right before my pick. Therefore I went with Marvin, probably a better pick, but I'm none the less disappointed that I couldn't pick my favorite arrogant receiver, God love him.

Living in harmony...

Sitting in the cramped Team Studicus/Mighty Krildog fused team headquarters, TS General Manager Studicus couldn't believe his eyes.

"Larry Johnson AND Julius Jones moved in," he said, pointing to a pile of football gear that was sitting in the middle of the office room. "Krildog didn't even ask. Just BOOM! There they were. So, yeah, it's a little crowded."

The Lake Piedmont facility just south of downtown Indianapolis is about to get yet another new resident. Team Studicus announced today its selection of wide receiver Chad Johnson, who is expected to move into the team training facility/headquarters sometime this afternoon.

Johnson's arrival creates a major problem. Team Studicus top pick LaDainian Tomlinson has already claimed the office area as his bedroom, and Studicus himself isn't sure how he'll be able to provide a comfortable place for Chad Johnson.

"I mean geez...I guess Chad could take my closet. It's a walk-in, after all," Studicus said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "As for Larry Johnson and Julius Jones...they'll have to fight over the recliner and the town chair with the caved in ottoman. It's like a bad episode of 'Big Brother' over here."

The unexpected guests have taken their toll on the once harmonious Studicus/Krildog team partnership. Arguments flare over who left the spoiled milk in the refrigerator, who ate one of Krildog's jumbo-size oatmeal creme pies, and who's responsible for cleaning the toilet.

"Larry Johnson moves in, and then clogs up the toilet. Does he bother telling anyone? No. You know who found it? Tomlinson. My first-round pick plunged the damn toilet," Studicus lamented.

"And they just throw their towels everywhere. What, do they think we're a laundry service? Krildog and I may not agree on everything, but believe you me, he's as pissed off by the piles of towels as I am."

The food situation is another matter entirely. On a recent trip to the grocery store, Studicus stocked up for the month, only to wake up in horror to find all the food gone. Pots and pans were everywhere, and the trash can was filled with empty boxes.

"Oh, I gave the new guys an earful about that one," Studicus said, fists clenched in rage. "And they got a strict talking to from Krildog. Of course, the players were upset, and he caved in by giving them more guaranteed money. Sellout."

For his part, Krildog says living in the main Team Studicus facility isn't all that glorious, either.

"Lake Piedmont sounds like a fucking secret government project. What the hell is that anyway? You don't understand how cramped our facility is. With Tomlinson in the office, it's nearly impossible to get any work done in there. And I swear to God he takes nine-hour showers when he's actually up before Dr. Phil comes on in the afternoon. He can blow me."

Huffing and puffing as the rage slowly built, Krildog offered a few more choice words for his Team Studicus flatmates.

"I don't care what in God's name Studicus says about LJ and Julius. Those guys are players, and players gotta eat. I'd like to see Studicus fucking cook for them some time, for Christ's sake. That guy can't make anything but frozen pizza or peanut and jelly sandwiches. It's embarrassing. Goddamn embarrassing."

"And another thing. These are highly-trained athletes. Other than the HDTV and high-speed internet, there's nothing for them to do. Except chase those fucking geese. Damn, those things are everywhere. I guess chasing chickens worked for Rocky."

At least the living arrangement is a short-term situation. Next weekend, the Mighty Krildogs move to their new facility at Meridian South. Team Studicus, meanwhile, is considering relocating the headquarters to either Greenwood or Castleton.

"Yeah, Larry Johnson messed up the toilet that bad. We're going to have to get out of here because of that," Studicus admitted as he kicked LJ's football gear. "He can go to hell."

The Mighty KrilDogs introduce their top 2 fantasy draft picks to the media



Amid a cascade of flashbulbs and cheers, The Mighty KrilDog introduced running backs Larry Johnson and Julius Jones as the team's first and second round picks for the 2006 KrilDog Cup draft. The press conference was held at the team's temporary Lake Piedmont headquarters, where they share space with Team Studicus.

"I couldn't wait until we move next Saturday to our new home at Meridian South to bring these guys out." said the legendary (in his own mind) owner/coach/gm. "The KrilDog faithful want the cup, well this right here is a good start to that goal. Where I come from, we've had guys like Grange, Sayers, Payton, and to a lesser extent Neal Anderson anchor the backfield and put their bodies on the line in the name of gaining yards. Time to write the next chapter in the fantasy book for yours truly. I'm just thankful that God, Coach Ditka, and Coach Rockne blessed us and put us into position to grab these two."

Johnson is a 4-year vet out of Penn St. who took the torch from Priest Holmes last season and ran for 1,750 yards and 20 touchdowns in 9 starts (he played in all 16 games). KrilDog called this pick a no-brainer.

"I've had my eye on him since the predraft combine," he said. "I knew I would be taking a running back with my first pick and he was on the short list of guys I really wanted. There's no telling what kind of havoc he could create this season."

Jones is a third year man who rushed for 993 yards and 5 touchdowns in 13 games (12 started) last year. KrilDog admitted that his second selection was much harder than the first.

"There were a lot of quality backs still available at this point in the draft," he said. "Plus, we had already seen Manning and Palmer and a few of the top wideouts go off the board. I had a few different moves I pondered with the pick. It didn't hurt that Julius was one of the only things worth watching during the Ty Willingham years at Notre Dame. He's got a clean bill of health and you know that Bill Parcells is ready to give him the ball since he loves the ground game, TO be damned."

The Mighty KrilDogs now await their turn in the third round. Speculation abounds to whom will be next. KrilDog himself has said he will have to weigh market trends and player availability since that choice is 7 picks away. With Studicus now on the clock (Sims took TO shortly after the press conference), stay tuned to TFT for further developments.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Your Ruler, ZOD.

ZOD selects the 2006 AFC Pro Bowl Roster for his fantasy team.

Oh wait, damnit, there's a draft? Who instituted this? No draft will take place without my permission! I will annihilate the one who put forth this policy without MY permission! Kneel before ZOD!


On a more serious note, football season is just around the corner. And fantasy drafts are in full swing. With my first two picks down, I can say that I'm happy, but for how long?

I feel Steven Jackson, who will be unleashed this year, and Steve Smith, who is coming off of an MVP type season, are really good picks for ZOD. Let's just hope I feel this way halfway through the season.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Scrimmage on NFL Network!

My dependency on the National Football League has reached dangerous levels. It's Saturday night, my usual date night, but I had a good one last night so I can't complain. The lack of buddies in town plus my other friends being too drunk from my Reds winning earlier today (that's two in a row kids)...means that I'm left alone tonight.

Just me...And the internet.....and the DVR....and the playstation....and the DVD....and so on.

So what do I choose to watch? The Redskins vs. Ravens scrimmage on NFL Network, and I'm enjoying it! I thought I had to wait 24 more hours until the Hall of Fame game to see two thug teams go at it (Eagles v. Raiders), but even a mini-camp with the Ravens has the chances of felonious action.

As far as the whine and cheese of Studicus, I promise not to choose anymore Bengals Quarterbacks this year.

Friday, August 04, 2006

On newstands everywhere...



I don't think this will become a regular feature...but I had a little fun with my photo editing program today...

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Fantasy Football...

I've been toying with some logo ideas today for Team Studicus. So far, I've come up with one good one. I'll keep working on them...

More Draft Day Stuff

Oh, you'd better believe I'm back at it!

Finally, I have the urge to write on a more daily basis. Is it football that excites me? I don't know! I'm definitely getting into this fantasy draft. I mean, with my hours, I can sleep all day and not miss a single development!

Wow, it's really going by more quickly than I imagined. The draft started Tuesday, and we've made it through five! And I don't mean rounds. I mean picks. I have to commend Krildog for picking Larry Johnson; I weighed the LaDanian Tomlinson/Larry Johnson decision very heavily this year. Last year, I was able to get Johnson late in the draft, because he wasn't expected to do a whole lot. Then Priest Holmes got hurt, and LJ lit everybody up.

This year, I had a tough time picking between the two of them. Finally, I decided on Tomlinson because, in every draft I've had, he always gets picked before I get the chance to snag him. So I thought I'd do myself a little favor, and take him for the first time since I've played fantasy football. This also marks the first time in several years that I haven't taken a quarterback first. So we'll see how that pans out.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Tick, tick, tick...

Paint dries.

Grass grows.

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards are still living the rock star life.

Yet one thing remains clear during this year's Fantasy Football Draft: if ESPN gave it 24-hour coverage, Chris Berman and Mel Kiper Jr. had better be sure they can shave during commercial breaks, because they won't be going anywhere for a very, very long time.

On the plus side, this year's draft is vastly superior to any autodrafts of the past. Nothing's worse than finding Drew "Son of God" Bledsoe and that ninth-string Tennessee Titans tight end on your autodraft roster. Really, there's not (unless you get, oh I don't know, saddled with a team full of New England Patriots). Yet, in the spirit of being fair, franchise owners have 24 hours to make a pick. That's made waiting for the next pick a pretty long process. Case in point: it took me nearly an hour and a half to make my pick. Buckeye McGuinness was stuck in a meeting, so it took him a while to make his selection, too.

Now, we wait patiently as Sims and his franchise experts to make their pick.

Like an episode of 24, the clock is ticking...

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Back after a week of mourning Jack Warden...

First of all, Studicus...

there's some cheese to go with your whine. Yeah, it must really suck to get the third pick in the draft and have to draft LT. Oh it sucks to be saddled with the rest running back in football!

*Sarcasm Mode Off*

Anyways, as you may have gathered, its fantasy football time here at TFT. The nine contributors are all in a league together along with whom I suppose is our "fifth Beatle", Old Dad Wagner. The email draft started today at 6am and shook with shock when Manning and Palmer went 1-2. One only wonders what choice the Teals (run by Sims) will make with the fourth pick. Then, yours truly goes on the clock.

Not too much else shaking here. Started my dynasty in NCAA '07 and I'm sad to say that the Irish are 0-2, even with a dynamic created MLB from the south suburbs of Chicago on their roster. Saw Clerks 2 and I give it an A. Great film by Kevin Smith with all of his usual touches. Hopefully going to see Talladega Nights with Studicus this week, perhaps even as soon as Thursday since I have come into control of some sneak preview passes. Just about a week out from moving, but that can be discussed at another time. I'm headed back to the war room; catch you later. And be sure to stay tuned for all the latest news in the battle for the KrilDog Cup!

Draft Day Drama

Team Studicus officials were outraged to learn Peyton Manning and Carson Palmer were already selected in the first two rounds of the Fantasy Draft.

"It's like someone knew my playbook cover to cover," Studicus remarked as he tossed a binder marked "Battle Plan" in a trash can at his fiance's parent's house. "How could they (rival teams Old Man River and Covington United) know what I planned to do with my first-round pick?"

"I think Commissioner Krildog needs to investigate this most heinous of crimes," Studicus informed a throng of dedicated sports reporters in the basement of his fiance's parent's house. "I mean, everyone knows I like the Bengals and the Colts. And my successful track record in fantasy leagues usually rests on the golden arm of a fantastic quarterback like Peyton or Carson."

With neither top QB available for the third pick, Studicus avoided the temptation to select Drew Bledsoe as his signal-caller ("If I end up with the Son of God this year, I know it's rigged," he said of the Dallas QB). The team went in another direction this season, taking a running back in the first round for the first time in what seems like ages.

"Yeah, I settled for Tomlinson. I'm not going to call him 'LT' because LT will always be 'LT,' you know what I mean?"

When informed that no one followed, Studicus clarified.

"You know...Lawrence Taylor? New York Giants?"

Studicus' utter shock that someone would have the "audacity" to select his two favorite quarterbacks seems misplaced. It was just weeks ago that he bragged, "Carson Palmer or Peyton Manning will play for Team Studicus," and, "Peyton and Carson will probably be my first two picks. I'll alternate them on the way to winning the Krildog Cup, whatever the hell that is."

Studicus and his crack team of advisers now sit in their Team Studicus War Room, awaiting their next pick...