Monday, May 07, 2007

The Ultimate Challenge

Hi there!

You may have noticed that this blog has been dead since Tubby Smith told UK to fuck off and headed up north to Minnesota. Well we all have been too lazy/busy to get anything together, but rest assured that there is new and fresh stuff on the way. It is typically a dead time of the year, with baseball and the neverending NBA playoffs in action and that's about it.

NHL? What is this NHL you speak of? You on dope or something?

Anyways, I came across an interesting tidbit of information this morning:

"Warrior Warrior got into an incident with the Iron Sheik on Sunday at a sports convention in Edison, NJ. Both men were there signing autographs. When Warrior saw Sheik, he demanded that Sheik leave, saying that Sheik had talked badly about him in the past. Sheik got upset and acted as if he was going to go after Warrior, but Warrior called security and the situation was resolved. Hulk Hogan and Bruno Sammartino were both also at the convention signing autographs. Warrior did not interact with Hogan, but did greet Sammartino. "

Credit: via

(Yes, the Ultimate Warrior's legal real name is Warrior Warrior. It used to be Jim Hellwig, but he changed it so the WWF/WWE couldn't prevent him from using it while not working for the company)

I wonder how that altercation went down...

"I was sent in a capsule from a place far from here , and I came here for one reason. To attack and keep coming. Not to ask , but just to give. Not to want , but just to send. Send the power of the Warrior down everyone throat in the WWF till they get sick of it. And your gonna get sick , because this freak of nature is just beginning to swell. And when I get big enough , brother , they're ain't gonna room for anybody else but me and all the Warriors , floating through the veins , and the power of the Warrior!"

"Now, listen here, lady. This is my property. Now, get out of here, you lazy American!"

"In my final meeting with Gods from the heavens above , as they spoke to me with the power of the Ultimate Warrior and told me...'Exit Stage Left , Exit Stage Right , there is no place to run , all the fuses in the exit signs have been burned out!"

"I will break you back, fuck your ass, and make you HUMBLE! "

"Dig your claws into my organs , stretch into my tendons , bury your anger into my bones, for the power of the Warrior will always prevail. By now, all the little Warriors know, that the power of the Ultimate Warrior is something that you want to feel , that you want to taste , its something that when you turn on that TV screen , you know thats it gonna be exciting, and that it might just be a little bit frightening!"

Gene Mean, look at our body! Camera man, zoom!

"Queering doesn't make the world work!"

"I sure picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue..."

Meanwhile at another table a few rows over...

"So Andre, God bless all 8'10", 750 pounds of him, tells me to give him the slam and drop the big leg, brah! Hulkamania ran wild and he passed the torch, which I'll protect until the next worthy man who can lace my boots comes along, brother. No clean jobs for me until he does! And even if it looks clean, my (knee/hip/ankle/taint/insert body part) was injured, dude! Vince McMahon knows he would be nothing without me, that's why I only save the day and work for him if I'm in the main event and the highest paid guy there, brah! Wait until Wrestlmania 24, when I make my triumphant return and unite all WWE titles under the immortal banner of Hulkamania! And until McMahon can find some one who can hang and bang with ol' Uncle Hulkster, he's gonna reinforce the glass ceiling with titanium. You better start training hard, taking your vitamins and saying your prayers! Whatcha' gonna do when Hulkamania refuses to lie down and take the clean pin for you!"

All Sheik and Warrior quotes are real and swiped from Wikipedia. Feel the homoeroticism!!!