Friday, January 11, 2008


You can already hear Jim Mora's voice, can't you.

"Playoffs? Are you kidding me? Playoffs!?"

It's the most wonderful time of the year, as long as you're team has made the playoffs. It can quickly turn into the most miserable time of the year if your team happens to fizzle. Officially, of course, the playoffs began last weekend with four reasonably good games. But if you're a Colts fan, the playoffs really begin tomorrow.

The Colts will know their opponent when they take the field Sunday at the RCA Dome. It could be the last Colts game there. The possibility exists that another game could be played at the Dome. That would take a big effort from the Jacksonville Jaguars against New England. In fact, the game between these two teams puts me in kind of a conundrum. For as much as I dislike Jacksonville, I hate New England more. Rooting for the Jags seems wrong; rooting for the Patriots is unholy.

That's why I'm just going to take ye olde "wait and see" approach for the Jacksonville-New England matchup. The Jaguars always talk a good game and they always play the Colts close. They're pretty stinking annoying. If you listen to some of the stuff that comes out of the mouths of Jags players and their certifiably-crazy coach, you'd think they were the undefeated team this season. In fact, you'd think they'd never lost a game, ever. It's only things like referees and cheating that have kept Jacksonville from winning the Super Bowl every year. Never mind the fact the Jags have a rap sheet nearly as long as the Bengals' or that they show the maturity of a 12-year-old girl who can't get Hannah Montana tickets. No team shoots itself in the foot quite like the Jacksonville Jaguars. I've seen it all: roughing the passer, pass interference, late hits out of bounds...many times in crucial situations. And then of course Crazy Jack gets that crazy look in his eyes. Geez.

Of course, compared to how I feel about New England, I just basically gave the Jags a nice big hug. I loathe the New England Patriots. There is not one single thing I like about that organization or their team. Their coach is a jerk who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar (and still won coach of the year, nice job Associated Press), their star quarterback is a pretty boy who has never met a girl he didn't bang, their star receiver is a "reformed" miscreant who's found salvation in Belichick, their star safety is a monstrous hitter with a prescription for pain...and HGH. Their fanbase makes me sick, and the insane amount of media coverage they get also makes my stomach quiver. I think we hit a low point when Cris Collinsworth decided the Pats were the best team he'd ever seen. If he'd said it a week ago, or two weeks ago, maybe I'd understand. But he said it several weeks ago, way too early. Then again, maybe he was being genuine; I have the sneaking suspicion he was just being smarmy, making sure he'd look like a "genius" by the end of the season. So many times, the Patriots have stomped on my beloved Colts. Then, one glorious January day, the Colts punched 'em in the face.

I'm not predicting anything about these playoffs. The Colts could lose, the Patriots could lose, it could all set it up so that we get a Jacksonville-Seattle Super Bowl. You just don't know what's going to happen over the next two days.

Personally, I want another shot at New England. I want the Colts to go in there, full strength, and work them over. It'd be poetic justice, and therapeutic for me. I guess we'll just see what happens. It's a crazy time in the NFL. It's what we like to call...

How does it go again, Coach Mora?

"Playoffs!? Are you kidding me!? PLAYOFFS!!?"

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