Plot summary: Vince Vaughn plays the owner of Average Joe's Gym, Peter La Fleur. Peter's got a problem: the gym is in deep debt. It's so bad, in fact, that rival fitness center Globo-Gym wants to buy it out. Is there a way to save Average Joe's from financial ruin and a corporate takeover? Thanks to Obscure Sports Quarterly, there is: dodgeball. Yes, the vaunted playground game offers a national competition that offers a grand monetary prize equal to exactly how much money Peter needs to keep Average Joe's afloat! But can a group of misfits that include a pirate, an abused husband, Ben Stiller's wife, and the Mac guy pull it off? And how can they learn the five "D's" of dodgeball without a coach? The answer: they can't, not without the legendary Patches O'Houlihan! In the end, it's Joe vs. Cobra. Yes, just like the cartoon series...kind of.
Favorite Quote 1: "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!"
Favorite Quote 2: "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood!"
Favorite Quote 3: "Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life. Well good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever."
Favorite Quote 4: "You're in a Chinese opium den, Timmy. This is where the sport of Dodgeball was invented in the 15th Century...by opium-addicted Chinamen."
Favorite Quote 5: "Wait, there's a guy on our team who dresses like a pirate?"
Favorite Quote 6: "Dodge, duck, dip, dive, and...dodge."
Favorite Quote 7: "It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for 'em."
Favorite Quote 8: "You had me at blood and semen."
Odd acquisition story: Eh. Nothing much here really. This was a fantastic Christmas gift from my older brother.
Lingering questions: When is the sequel coming out? There is a sequel, right? How in the world did the producers get Lance Armstrong, David Hasselhoff, William Shatner, and Chuck Norris in the same movie? Is there a better "go-to" character actor than Gary Cole?