Sunday, February 17, 2008

K-Money has your hook up!


Hi folks, Coach Kelvin Sampson here and basking in the afterglow of a hard fought win over MSU last night. As you may or may not know, yours truly has come under quite a bit of fire for not telling Uncle Myles and the rest of the pencil pushers at the NC2A the whole truth about how much I just love to gab on the phone. Now, come Friday the hammer might be falling pretty hard, but fear not. Ol’ K-Money already has a plan for all of that sweet buyout money that IU is going to have to fork over if IU decides to cut me loose…

Kelvin’s Phoneatorium! Opening in April in Bloomington and then Norman, OK and then nationwide! We carry Sprint/Nextel, Verizion, T-Mobile and all major brands. Nobody, and I mean nobody, will beat our service plans! Call Waiting! Call Forwarding! Caller ID! Voicemail! 3 Way Calling! 4 Way Calling! Hell, we can go as high as 12 way calling! Illegally recruit an entire team at once, no questions asked! Preorder now and receive my special DVD, “Ass Covering and Under The Bus-Throwing” for no extra charge! Break the rules the Kelvin Sampson Way!

Do me a favor, though. Don’t let Greenspan know I’m working on this until they decide if I’m fired or not. I’m sure he would not think too highly of it. Of course, he would make a pretty good Assistant To The Regional Manager if IU gives him the boot as well…


TO BE CONTINUED…

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