Sunday, October 31, 2010

Colts look for Monday Night Revenge


On Sheriff Peyton, Arian Foster, and a Muppet in the receiving corps. Plus, special appearance by Scott Baio!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Walken in a Winter Wonderland



Love and cherish Christopher Walken. The man will do anything, and that makes him awesome.

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - October 29


The Rock has a thousand quotable lines (yes, yes...many of them have the "f" word in them). At some point, I will probably devote an entire week to the movie...which I consider the Best Action Movie Ever. I know that's up for debate...but that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

Today's movie quote does not come from General Francis X. Hummel or Dr. Stanley Goodspeed or John Patrick Mason. Instead, we turn to that guy from Boston Common and Yes, Dear.

"Okay, I don't wanna know nothin'. I never saw you throw that gentleman off the balcony. All I care about is: are you happy with your haircut?"

Considering Mr. Connery was likely wearing an expensive, convincing hairpiece, I'm sure he was happy enough.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - October 28


King Arthur earned mixed reviews when it opened in theaters. Most found it a dull, grim, unexciting picture of the "historical" King Arthur. No Holy Grails, no magical spells, no Lady of the Lake. However, the movie had Clive Owen. That was pretty much enough for me. Give me ten more Clive Owen-starring King Arthur movies!

It's a personal favorite of my wife and me...one we always turn to when there's nothing else on television.

My favorite line?

"You...all of you were free from your first breath!"

Despite the fact he's pointing his sword at these people, he's actually saving them. I promise.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - October 27


Few characters are as quotable as the great Jack Sparrow....er make that "Captain" Jack Sparrow. I remember going to see the first Pirates of the Caribbean with full-on skepticism. How good could a movie based on a freaking THEME PARK RIDE actually be?

Pretty darn good, actually...almost something approaching great. That little ride-based movie gobbled up a lot of our money at the box office and spawned not one, not two, but three sequels (the third sequel is forthcoming). While I will quote extensively from the good captain in future editions, let us recall an impromptu song he made up during the second film. I don't think Davy Jones was amused.

"I got a jar of dirt! I got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!"

As we've often heard as kids, it really is what's inside that counts. Especially when you're taunting an undead sea monster pirate captain known for punishing those who've wronged him.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - October 26


Sometimes, you send a messenger to the other guys appealing for peace. And then the other guys send back a headless horseman before chucking the messenger's head back at you.

Peace?

What do they say, Maximus?

"They say no."

They tried remaking Gladiator by calling it Robin Hood. It wasn't quite as entertaining.

Monday, October 25, 2010

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - October 25



Back now for week two of TFT's Movie Quote of the Day. I'm sure anyone who knows me will be shocked by the fact that the first week passed without a single Star Wars quote.

Well, you're going to be even more shocked this week: there are no Star Wars quotes ahead, either.

Of course, that doesn't mean you won't find the occasional Star Trek reference...and to help you break out of your Monday blahs...it's Ricardo Montalban. In this case, it's really not the quote that makes it. It's Montalban's facial expression...a topic I've written about in some length before.

Crewman: Our shields are dropping.
Khan: Then raise them!
Crewman: [pounds fists on console] I can't!
(awesome Khan facial expression)


I would have the same look on my face if my hated arch-enemy somehow managed to magically drop my shields with some "secret code" that had never been mentioned before. Kirk-Spock Starfleet wisdom, or convenient plot device? You decide.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Happy Birthday, Krildog!

I would like to take a moment today to wish Krildog a hap-hap-happy birthday. He's one of the founding members of the blog and also my former college (and post-college) roommate.

I haven't spent a ton of time with him lately, but we try to keep up. Our favorite method of doing that is the Kessel Run, which is code for "lunch" and "movie" (a movie with EXPLOSIONS!). He's a devoted fan of Notre Dame and Chicago Bears football, the Chicago White Sox, and the Chicago Blackhawks (sensing a theme here, anyone?).

So if you see Krildog today, wish him a happy birthday!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Clark Out, Who Will Step Up?

Thematically similar to yesterday, but slanted more toward the tight end replacements for Dallas Clark

Friday, October 22, 2010

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - October 22


Ocean's 11 is full of quotable lines, and you'll see it here a lot on TFT's Movie Quote of the Day. From Clooney's quips to Pitt's offhand remarks, the cast and writers left us with plenty of lines to use in those situations in which we're robbing a casino.

I'll start with my favorite, when the group is trying to convince Reuben to join their cause. He explains how impossible it is to steal from Vegas casinos, and then politely dismisses Danny Ocean and Rusty Ryan, thanking them for that one time when they bailed him out and stuff.

"Look, we all go way back and, uh, I owe you from the thing with the guy in the place and I'll never forget it."

Just think: if they'd mentioned Terry Benedict at the beginning of the conversation, we would've never witnessed the awesome History of Vegas Casino Robberies montage.

Colts Turning into M*A*S*H unit


Take a brief trip through recent Colts history as we look at new targets for Peyton while the team collectively turns itself into a freaking MASH unit. Special appearance by Jim Mora.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - October 21


Kingdom of Heaven has explosions, but that's not necessarily the whole point of the movie. Go watch the director's cut. Sure, it lasts more than three hours, but it's thought-provoking and well-crafted. It isn't the most quotable movie in cinematic history, but you'll find a few great exchanges.

My favorite is near the end, when Balian negotiates the surrender of Jerusalem and poses the question, "What is Jerusalem worth?"

Saladin answers:

"Nothing. Everything."

So is it nothing or everything? MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - October 20


If you're looking for high art here, you won't find it. Obscure art house fare and movies without explosions typically won't make the cut here on TFT's Movie Quote of the Day.

Oh, no.

However, if you like dinosaurs, superheroes, spaceships, and EXPLOSIONS, then this is the place to be.

Today's quote comes from the first Iron Man movie, which I loved and regard as superior to the fun-but-cluttered sequel. My favorite moments of the first flick involved Tony Stark's efforts to test out his armor. When he finally gets it, he says in nonchalant coolness:

"Yeah, I can fly."

They can make 40 Iron Man sequels. I'll never get tired of this guy.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - October 19


Jurassic Park (1993) remains one of the most important dinosaur theme park movies of the 20th Century. A bold statement to be sure, but the flick gave everyone an extensive look at the technology that would fuel movie magic in future years. This technology would pave the way for a new round of Star Wars movies, allow Michael Bay to make giant transforming robots EXPLODE, de-age Brad Pitt, and destroy the earth countless times. On a side note, inferior versions of this visionary technology would help spawn a series of B-grade movies on the Sci-Fi/Sy Fy Channel.

But anyway, I enjoyed the realism of Jurassic Park. After all, everyone knows doors existed during the Jurassic period and that Velociraptors, by nature, would be able to open said doors. In addition, the movie is also true to human nature. I mean...if I'm cloning dinosaurs using fossilized tree sap and frog DNA, there's no way I'm doing it without making a freaking Tyrannosaurus rex. I am particularly fond of the exchange between Dr. Grant and Mr. Eccentricity John Hammond about some of the park's attractions:

Dr. Alan Grant: "Say again?"

"Crazy" John Hammond: "We have a T-rex!"


In the book, John Hammond dies. In the movie world, he returns in the sequel for a cameo.
 
On an unrelated note, I sometimes wish Harrison Ford played Dr. Grant. Don't get me wrong...I love Sam Neill...but I always pictured Grant as being more Harrison Ford-like (maybe it was the hat and presumptive digging that comes along with being a paleontologist).

Concerning Garcon's catch and hobbits

All right, I love the Colts. If you've seen my Facebook profile picture, you know this already.

Sunday night's win wasn't the prettiest game ever played. However, it did include one of the prettiest catches I've ever seen. Leave it to Pierre Garcon...Mr. "I Can't Handle the Ordinary" to reel in one heckuva beautiful grab. Now, I know this wasn't a postseason game or one with any great, life-altering outcome, but that was as beautiful as they come.
A catch so beautiful, it should be etched in stained glass at the new Church of Pierre.

This pure, unadulterated moment of football glory needs a name.

I've thought of a few:

1) The Stretch and Fetch
2) Hand of Glue
3) Hand of God
4) Wiping God's Teardrop (it was that beautiful)
5) Pierre-cal Miracle
6) Pierre's Mid-Air Snare
7) Garcon's No-Splatter Platter
8) Stickum Not Included
9) Check, Please!
10) And Heaven Wept

Just imagine how great he'd be if he started making the routine ones look routine. CLARIFYING NOTE: This one was not routine.

I watched the game on DVR (I was at work while the Colts were on and needed to see the game again for a more thorough analysis). And I'll be darned...I noticed something on the DVR that I didn't catch the first time I watched the game. Notice how Tom Moore seems unimpressed? With the zoom function on my Uverse box, I was able to actually SEE what Tom Moore was saying:

Ahem...Tom...get the team to convert on third and one without throwing the ball, and then I'LL be impressed.

I wasn't the only one to notice this awesome spectacle. Huffington Post, Yahoo! Sports, and Sports Grid all saw what I did: the best catch ever.

Of course, that wasn't the only spectacular grab.

Aaron Francisco's Game-Clinching Treat.

So, yeah, it wasn't pretty...although it had its miraculous moments. In addition to those great grabs, Peyton Manning and Jeff Saturday were interviewed by a freaking hobbit. I have photographic evidence.

Peyton and Jeff: Don't let her touch your rings. Alternate joke: When did Cheri Oteri become a sideline reporter?

Monday, October 18, 2010

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - October 18


In my estimation, Fletch (1984) is one of the most underrated comedies of all time. Here you've got Chevy Chase in his smart-aleck prime as a reporter "investigating" a strange conspiracy involving a man who wants Fletch to kill him. The journey takes Fletch from the drug-riddled beaches of LA to the majestic rolling hills of Provo, Spain (er...I mean Utah).

One of my favorite parts: an undercover operation where Fletch poses as an airplane mechanic. It seems it's "all ball bearings" these days, but that's not today's quote:

"One of those manure spitters jack-knifed on the Santa Anna. God awful mess. You should see my shoes. Woo-hee!"

Do not let this man touch your airplane's engine.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - October 17

To keep things somewhat consistent, celebrate a new TFT feature: the Movie Quote of the Day.


That's right. There's a logo.

The goal is to post a movie quote Monday through Friday with, when applicable and available, an accompanying picture. Today we focus on Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade because...well...it's Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Do I really need to explain any further?

One of my favorite moments from this flick is when Indy and his father reconnect. Of course, Indy's father believes his son made sure his Grail diary was far, far away from prying Nazi hands. It wasn't...Indy brought it with him. Upon realizing this, Professor Henry Jones deadpans:

"I should've mailed it to the Marx Brothers."


At least the Marx Brothers would've probably destroyed the Grail diary as a gag.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

We're still alive

Introducing the newly-redesigned look of The Flying Trapeezius!

We've started, stopped, restarted, stopped, and restarted this blog more times than I can count. Time is precious and sometimes it's difficult to find enough time to write. A lot has changed since we last posted consistently (which was...ahem...some time ago), but this blog is a repository of (mostly asinine) knowledge and information that must live on!

In September 2005, we launched The Flying Trapeezius and discovered that blogging was a lot of fun. We posted often--sometimes multiple times a day--knowing full well that only three people were reading the blog (that would be us).