Saturday, October 16, 2010

We're still alive

Introducing the newly-redesigned look of The Flying Trapeezius!

We've started, stopped, restarted, stopped, and restarted this blog more times than I can count. Time is precious and sometimes it's difficult to find enough time to write. A lot has changed since we last posted consistently (which was...ahem...some time ago), but this blog is a repository of (mostly asinine) knowledge and information that must live on!

In September 2005, we launched The Flying Trapeezius and discovered that blogging was a lot of fun. We posted often--sometimes multiple times a day--knowing full well that only three people were reading the blog (that would be us).

So today, we relaunch the Flying Trapeezius, where you'll find quasi-consistent updates on quasi-consistent subjects written by quasi-consistent bloggers. That's a lot of "quasi," but you get what you pay for...which in this case is "free."

We're not interested in making money (Qualifier: FROM THE BLOG)...if we were, we would've produced content on a more than quasi-consistent basis...so the artful discourse readers will see here may only appear every few days.

My personal areas of interest include sports, movies, video games, and the complex, frightening world of publishing. I love to produce crappy Photoshop pictures using a program that isn't actually Photoshop (these are often found under the tag "crappy photoshopping). I live to denigrate the New England Patriots and favor the Indianapolis Colts in the epic struggle of Good (Colts) vs. Evil (Patriots). I theorize that Peyton Manning is an extraterrestrial who only "struggles" in the playoffs because he likes to see the "regular" humans win every once in a while.

It's very telling that searching for an image of Manning gives you football pictures, and searching for Brady gives you Calvin Klein ads.

If I could change the world, I would remove the word "Twilight" from the public lexicon and banish Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner to the Phantom Zone. I would allow Peter Facinelli to stay only because my wife loves him. I am also ashamed that I know the names of these individuals.

The world would be a better place.

I believe there are certain movies that never happened; movies that have poster art and DVDs and are available on Netflix, but don't actually exist. This Pantheon of Movies that Never Happened includes Rocky 5, Batman and Robin, The Godfather: Part Three, Police Academy: Mission to Moscow, The Punisher with Dolph Lundgren (which I DO NOT OWN despite the strange DVD case marked "Dolph Lundgren: The Punisher" that sits on my DVD shelf), and The Matrix followed by any word that starts with "R" (such as "Reloaded" or "Revolutions," perhaps?).

These movies never happened.

In my spare time, I like to write. Currently, I have one short story published in an obscure, bi-monthly Australian journal of superhero fiction called "This Mutant Life" (you can find the issue here). Another short story has been accepted for publication, but has not yet appeared. Ten other short story submissions have resulted in rejections, putting my acceptance rate at approximately the same number as my high school batting average (**cough, cough**....not very high).

I'd better stop before this turns into a manifesto.

I hope it's not too late.

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