The Flying Trapeezius

Just in Case...

2011-06-03T13:01:00.003-04:00

Thanks for visiting The Flying Trapeezius! We are semi-retired in our old age.

If you're looking for the author blog of Matt Adams, it has moved!

Click on the banner below to be redirected to Matt's blog.

Butler & UK: A Comparison

2011-03-28T00:15:00.005-04:00

Above is a completely biased, somewhat researched comparison of Butler and Kentucky basketball I made just for fun. Do I expect these two teams to meet in the National Championship? I don't know. Butler faces a challenge from underdog VCU, while UK faces a blazing-hot UConn squad. I should also point out that the "Final Four" category relates to the COACHES and their Final Fours, not the schools. Kentucky boasts 14 Final Four appearances as a program.

I'm sure proud of this year's Butler team. I thought it would be extremely tough for them to even reach the Sweet Sixteen; the Final Four seemed a pipe dream. I didn't think they'd get back, so they may as well win it all.

Take a look at the enrollment numbers for the Final Four schools:
Kentucky: 27,000
VCU: 32,000
UConn: 28,000
Butler: 4,500
That's pretty amazing, isn't it? In back-to-back seasons, the Butler Bulldogs managed make it all the way to the Final Four. That's an accomplishment ANY school would be proud of, including college basketball royalty like North Carolina, Duke, Kansas, and (pre-Dark Ages) Indiana.

Of course, this year VCU is the undisputed sentimental favorite, which means we probably won't see all those fun "Hoosiers" comparisons this time around.

Don't worry, that won't stop me:

And now, a quick update on my brackets...

2011-03-21T10:43:00.000-04:00

Day 4 Tourney Picks

2011-03-20T09:00:00.012-04:00

North Carolina over Washington
Michigan over Duke - Upset Special
Ohio State over George Mason
Arizona over Texas
Purdue over VCU
Syracuse over Marquette
Kansas over Illinois
Notre Dame over Florida State

The Beginning of a New Era

2011-03-19T13:00:00.001-04:00

This is tough to write today, but it is necessary.

Since 2005, I have been contributing to The Flying Trapeezius (often abbreviated simply as "TFT"). Since its inception (and idea sparked by my buddy Krildog), the blog has become a platform for sports talk, parodies, movie reviews, and general tomfoolery. For years, it was the place for me to express myself through writing.

There were Great Moments in Fake Olympic History, posts about the great Christopher Walken, the insanity of the Fighting Ultimate Championship Knockout, crappy photoshopping, crappy video editing, and much, much more.

The blog expanded, contracted, and changed to reflect its writers' various personalities. For the good part of the last two years, I have been the primary contributor, writing mostly about the Colts, trying out the TFT Movie Quote of the day, and more recently, blogging about my writing pursuits.

Today, I take a bit of my own advice. My Blogger profile no longer says "Studicus." Now, I will blog as myself. I will contribute as myself. And while I have an unwavering love for TFT, my writing pursuits do not lend themselves well to that blog's mission, which is bigger than one person. TFT should be a place for making fun of Rex Ryan and Ray Lewis; a place to deride crappy movies and goof on Dolph Lundgren.

It shouldn't be the place where my alternate ego, Matt Adams the Writer, posts under a pseudonym to talk about his writing exploits (yes, I just employed the third person and admitted to having multiple personalities). I have a new playground for my writing announcements, posts on writing craft, and other publishing content. The next stop on my writing journey is mattadamsauthor.blogspot.com. The tagline: "My Kingdom for a Novel (or a Short Story): the official blog of unofficial writer Matt Adams...it's a Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt World and you're living in it."

I imagine I'll pop by TFT every once in a while, and I may even cross-post on occasion.

It may seem like an easy decision; a no-brainer. But it's something I really had to think about. I'd like to thank Krildog for helping me come to this decision.

Day 3 Tourney Picks

2011-03-19T10:58:00.000-04:00

Brackets are pretty shot, but my Final Four is still intact. Here's today's picks:

West Virginia over Kentucky
Florida over UCLA
Morehead State over Richmond
Temple over SDSU
Pitt over Butler
Gonzaga over BYU
Kansas St. over Wisconsin
UConn over Cincinnati

Sunday's picks go up tomorrow at 9am (EST). Enjoy the games!

Day 2 Tourney Picks

2011-03-17T23:19:00.000-04:00

Louisville's faceplant f**ked me over good. Lots of sweet last second finishes today, though. Here's my picks:

Texas over Oakland
Tennessee over Michigan
Notre Dame over Akron
George Mason over Villanova
Memphis over Arizona - Upset Special
Duke over Hampton
Florida State over Texas A&M
Ohio St. over UTSA
Kansas over Boston U
North Carolina over Long Island
Purdue over St. Peter's
Xavier over Marquette
Illinois over UNLV
Georgia over Washington
Georgetown over VCU
Syracuse over Indiana State

Enjoy the games...and look for Day 3 picks tomorrow night!

Gus and Mariel becomes latest pub triumph!

2011-03-17T00:57:00.004-04:00

The Peytonometer says "We have a winner!"

I received word today that my short story "Gus and Mariel" has been accepted for Library of the Living Dead Press' Attack of the 50FT Book anthology! The antho, as the title suggests, revolves around giant creatures that attack and destroy cities!

This will be my ninth story accepted for publication...bringing my story batting average (cue the stadium organ!) to .321!

Here's a brief summary of "Gus and Mariel":

Heartbroken after his beloved Mariel is taken away, Gus the Puffin accidentally steps into radioactive goo and grows to epic proportions. Desperate to find his lost love, he heads east, leaving an inadvertent path of destruction in his wake.

I'll provide updates as I learn more about the publication timetable and editing process.

Carnac Lives: Your Day 1 March Madness Picks

2011-03-16T22:22:00.001-04:00

In what is an annual tradition here at TFT, we celebrate March Madness as it were some sort of a 3 week holiday celebration. And while Studicus and I don't blow off work and sit in front of the TV all day like we used to (damn adulthood), you can find plenty of classic content in the archives back from when we did. And now comes the time where I embarrass myself and pick all of the games for Day 1:

West Virginia over Clemson
Butler over Old Dominion
Louisville over Morehead State
Temple over Penn State
Kentucky over Princeton
Pitt over UNC-Asheville
Richmond over Vanderbilt - Upset Special
San Diego State over Northern Colorado
Florida over UC Santa Barbara
BYU over Wofford
UConn over Bucknell
Wisconsin over Belmont
Michigan St. over UCLA
St. Johns over Gonzaga
Missouri over Cincinnati
Kansas St. over Utah St.

Enjoy the games, everyone! Check back tomorrow night for Day 2!

TFT Reviews: OMNI History Begins

2011-03-16T01:27:00.000-04:00

All right...I've been talking about this for a while. It's time for the first-ever TFT Book Review.

This all started a few weeks ago when a man approached me about his book OMNI: History Begins, which is available at several major outlets, including Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com. I decided to go for it. We haven't done any book reviews on this blog, but since the focus has become geared more toward writing, I figured it would be something unique.

Joe Graham's OMNI: History Begins tells the story of an 11-year-old boy named Joseph Pringle. He's a near-miss, which means he possesses abilities beyond the scope of normal people that fall just short of superheroic. After a particularly frightening experience at his school science fair, Joseph and his family become the focus of an investigation by the Heroes Union.

They're tested, scrutinized, poked, and prodded. The results prove surprising; not only are Joseph's powers growing at an exponential rate, but he could be a danger to humanity! He receives an unexpected invitation to Alpha, an academy where kids with special abilities train as future superheroes. Think Hogwarts...take away the wands...and replace them with spandex.

Quickly, Joseph takes the superhero "handle" Midas and falls in with a core group of friends with an international flavor: Darkspeed, Olympian, Bioforce, Virtuoso, and Shi. Despite Joseph's young age--he's only 11 years old while the others at the academy are 12 and up--his abilities continue to grow and he makes 1st Team, which is essentially the varsity superhero squad.

The kids train, they fight among each other, struggle with a lack of direction from their "tough-love" Coach Connors, and act as typical pre-teens and early teenagers should act. They form rivalries with other teams and take their lumps when they refuse to work together.

The good news: they get their act together.

The bad news: a long-thought-dead menace rises from the grave to threaten the world with unprecedented destruction and chaos.

Will the young heroes be up to the challenge?

What I Liked: I'm a sucker for superhero stories. I was instantly interested in the subject matter and really did enjoy meeting the characters and spending some time in the world. The novel is quite lengthy--600 pages--and I witnessed Joseph & company change and grow throughout the book (along with their powers). Joseph in particular discovers an incredible truth about his abilities, uncovering an unexpected destiny he isn't prepared for.

The book draws upon several of my favorite conventions, including future-science, some light time travel, and an "I am your father" moment (the funny part about the latter: it doesn't involve the main character!). Graham has created a fun world lovingly filled with things like "nanomail armor," "Sparrow transports," and "transmutation."

The story features an international cast of characters who travel across the globe as they train, grow into their powers, and face a looming global threat.

It's a fun place to visit, but...

On Second Thought: OMNI has some glaring problems, most of them in technical execution. I spotted several grammatical errors and problems with writing mechanics. While reading the book, I kept a notepad to write down any misspelling, incorrect wording, or faulty punctuation I spotted along the way. I gently put the notepad aside as the mistakes piled up. This is a small press book, but the quality was, unfortunately, not up to professional standards. Several problems became apparent, from confusion between words (they're vs. there) to missing punctuation, misspelled words, and even incorrect words. I found the mistakes distracting and they took me out of the story at times.

I also struggled to keep up with the sheer number of characters introduced during the first 130 or so pages. There are simply too many thrown at the reader at one time; many of these characters are sparsely used and could have been eliminated entirely or introduced in a different manner.

The Verdict: OMNI: History Begins aspires to be a mash-up of Ender's Game, the Harry Potter series, and classic superhero comics. It succeeds in some respects, but falls short in other areas. Readers who are able to overlook some of the book's technical shortcomings will find an enjoyable story...and wish the finished product had another coat of polish.

TFT was provided with a complimentary copy for the express purpose of this review.

TFT EXTRA: Interview with OMNI author Joe Graham

What influenced you to write OMNI?

Joe: I always wanted to write something my kids would like to read. OMNI started out as a few bedtime stories. Then I simply wanted to write it down so they would have something from me to read. It just started snowballing from there into a story much bigger than I thought it would ever be.

I work as a computer scientist and have seven children. When I started writing OHB, I had six. Their names are Jacob (Jake), Johanna, Joseph, Jillianne, Juliette (Jet), and John. They are the basis for the personalities you see in 1st team, which is the reason you have multiple protagonists in the story, each is a special part. I just happen to use Joseph’s character to pave the introduction into the story. Also, Jake is the one who did the cover art and the green and black comet on the back of the book is the Darkspeed symbol.

What other books and authors do you count as influences?

Joe: I met a comic book writer at ComiCon back in 92. He gave a workshop on storytelling. I remember it vividly to this day (because) he really brought his craft to life and sparked something inside of me that made me what to be a storyteller of any medium. I left his name off, because years later when I tried to contact him and tell him what an influence he was on my life, he was a colossal jerk. Oh well, I’ll just remember the good part.

Other than that, (I would say) Orson Scott Card because he also put out a book on writing sci-fi. I read that book and saw how his rules for writing worked in his own worlds. That meant something to me; to read how he thought as he wrote.

How long did it take to write the first draft?

Joe: I have a full-time job and a big family, so in my "spare" time it took about a year. That breaks down like this:

1) Three months to write a 75-page outline and invent the new world and its science and jargon.

2) Six months to actually write the rough text. When I write, I write ten pages in
three hours. I don’t look back. I don’t check spelling. I don’t let anything derail me from making forward progress. It’s kind of like free writing.

3) Three months to check the book for plot content. I looked for any holes in the plot that might come back to haunt me.

What has been the biggest struggle in promoting the book?

Joe: I’m not really a promotions guy, so it’s been a complete amateur effort on my part. I think I’m kind of like Edison who said, “I have not failed 1,000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb.” Only catch is, I don’t think I’m up to 1,000 yet!

What can you tell readers about your plans for the sequel? Is it bigger? Better? Grander?

Joe: All of those things :)

CWII (Coalition's War II) is about one-third written. It starts up two days after the last one ended. One of the things I started doing in this book is giving Vector (the main bad guy who appears relatively briefly in book one) as much time in development as the rest of the main characters.

In OHB, I had to teach the reader my universe, which I did through Midas/Cosmos, as he learned it. In CWII, I don’t do that. I pick up where I left off and assume (the reader knows) all that. The second book moves faster because of this.

More secrets are revealed as the story goes on, showing the strengths and the weaknesses of the main characters. The Coalition becomes a greater threat as the heroes prepare for the next round.

What are your writing ambitions? Are you working on anything else?

Joe: I’ve written a few movie scripts, one really good one. But, I think that working the OMNI series is the thing that interests me most. I’ve sat down and written the end of the series, which happens several books later. It’s nice to have a clear vision of where you started and where you will end. This series is my labor of love.

Tell me a little about Rejection Press? What’s the idea behind it? What’s next?

Joe: When I finished my first draft, I started emailing publishers and agents, ignorant of the whole publishing process. I was fortunate if anyone even responded with a rejection. Most of the time, it was no response at all.

I had the chance to meet a lady on the internet who had just published a book on horse breeding. Being an expert in her field and working to polish her query letter and approach, she sent out over 200 letters over a two-year period before an agent agreed to read her book.

I’m too impatient for that, so Rejection Press was born. I started a small press and my work is available online.

Don’t get me wrong, I would love to hook up with a big publisher. To date, no one in the mainstream publishing industry has read my work.

As for the future, expect more of the OMNI series and more of the same storytelling.

A Journey through "In Memoriam"

2011-03-15T00:39:00.000-04:00

I called my wife as I started the 25-minute journey from home today and she informed me that I had a package waiting for me. I wasn't expecting anything--after all, I haven't ordered anything online since Christmas--but I finally put it together: my contributor's copy of A Thousand Faces had arrived!

The pristine cover of this fine publication.
I wrote "In Memoriam" nearly a year ago and learned it had been accepted for publication in May. The actual issue appeared in November. I have a special attachment to the story; it was the very first story I ever submitted and the first accepted for publication, although it was not the first one I ever had published (that distinction belongs to "The Bank Loan," which appeared in an issue of This Mutant Life)

A familiar author penned this story.
As I flipped through the book eager to again read the fine stories contained within, I spotted something on the last page that made me smile. A Thousand Faces accepted another work of mine...which was actually promoted!

It's blurry...but if you squint really hard, you can see that certain familiar author's work promoted for the next issue!
A Thousand Faces publishes quarterly. My next story, "The Villain," will appear in the March 2011 issue, which is coming soon! Make sure to check out A Thousand Faces for updates! Of course, when it's up, you'll hear about it here!

Matt at Work! I Promise!

2011-03-11T02:54:00.000-05:00

I have had, admittedly, a very quiet week on the blog. It's correlated with a fairly quiet week writing. I dedicated the first half of the week to TFT's first-ever book review, which will be up shortly. When I haven't been making notes about that book, I've been revising one of my own.

I have great dreams of turning I, Crimsonstreak into an e-book and becoming the next Amanda Hocking (rolls eyes). I'm not serious, but I am contemplating doing something a little different with this book. It's too much "fun" for a mainstream publisher. Perhaps a small press would be interested? I don't know...but I do know it needs a lot of polish. So no short stories, no big bursts of creativity, and no updates on the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum.

Revisions...it's like writing...only...not.

You Are What you Tweet

2011-03-09T15:09:00.001-05:00

I used to hate Twitter.

A lot.

I'm serious about this.

I once said if Twitter were a person, I'd punch it in the face. And then I'd kick it 17 times while it's down. After that, I'd locate the nearest burlap sack, stuff Twitter inside, weigh it down with bricks, and throw it into the Laurentian Abyss.

The concepts of "tweet" and "retweet" and allowing stupid 140-character messages to replace, oh I don't know, actual thought and discourse alarmed me.

Text messages on steroids.

Despicable. Distasteful.

But you know what? I was wrong about Twitter. If it were a person, I'd take it out for lunch...my treat.

I don't have many followers...I'm working on it...but Twitter is an incredible tool for writers. You can reach hundreds of people with a simple, short message. New blog post? Share it. Read a great blog post? Share it. Story accepted? Share it. Story rejected? Share it.

I know, I know. This is 2008-era stuff that people a lot smarter than me learned a long time ago. What I have to say is nothing revolutionary, least of all to those who are already on "the Twitter."

But if you know a writer who isn't taking advantage of Twitter, hit them.

Hit them hard.

If they're too shy to tweet, Twitter is still too valuable to overlook or stubbornly ignore. Writers can get a feel for individual agents, discover valuable blog posts from other writers struggling in this crazy business, and find outlets for their work.

Twitter will grow on them...maybe like a festive moss, but it will grow on them. Pretty soon, they'll discover things like hashtags and Writers Wednesday. They'll overcome that shyness and begin to make connections and build a sense of community.

So don't punch Twitter in the face.

Embrace it...and encourage others to do the same.

Quiet! Revisions Underway!

2011-03-07T01:55:00.000-05:00

100th Comment on this post gets this logo on a t-shirt.
While I don't know where the rest of the week will take me, I'm committed to revising one of my earliest books, I, Crimsonstreak, a humorous, first-person take on the superhero genre.

This one's been sitting around for a couple of years. Let's put this in perspective: when I finished I, Crimsonstreak, I'd written a total of 120,000 words between that book and my very first. Since then, my writing output has been been much more impressive, with two other finished books and more than 35 short stories.

This isn't boasting; what I'm saying is that I've put a lot of words between I, Crimsonstreak and myself since originally "finishing" the novel (we all know, of course, that no creative endeavor is truly ever "finished"). When I was writing it, I had no idea what I was doing (in many ways, I still don't); I hadn't had anything published. While I'm not a big-time author by any stretch of the imagination, I now feel like I have a better grasp of writing in general. I can look back at this book, see its flaws, and grind them out.

After that, I'm going to need some beta readers to take a look at it and then go back for more revisions. But I can't do that until I feel the book has improved dramatically from its last draft.

The blog will probably remain relatively quiet this week (although that could ALWAYS change) because I'm working on revisions instead of coming up with something new. It's not that revisions aren't writing--writing is revising, point of fact--but it's not that exciting to do any kind of commentary on revisions...unless I find some extremely poorly-written sentence to share.

But wait...I can use the Peytonometer for this!

I, Crimsonstreak--now in the "Audibles" stage!

The Peytonometer: Not just for short stories!
My other project is a book review for someone who found this blog and thought I'd like to read his superhero novel. I'm about halfway through the book, which is about 600 pages. Either this week or next week, look for a review and an interview with the writer.

A writing week (kind of) wasted

2011-03-05T01:29:00.001-05:00

This was a lost week for me as far as writing is concerned I didn't write a single word of fiction nor did I revise any of my current works, meaning I pretty much failed in every possible capacity from a writing standpoint (although I did learn the first line of "We Didn't Start the Fire!").

I also pledged to read a book and do a review. Guess what: I'm not even to the second chapter yet. Work, work, and a side, freelance video editing project stole all my time this week.

The irony? Work and the video project pay actual money.

Writing does not.

In the last two weeks, I've had two story acceptances and two story rejections. The acceptances are "for the love" publications; the rejections were from places that pay a little bit of money.

But that's okay.

Writing isn't about the money. I would love to get paid, but do you know why I'd love to get paid to write? It's not because I'm a greedy guy who wants to score big and never worry about money for the rest of my life (although I'll take that!); it's because getting paid to write means I could do it full-time and devote entire days to writing instead of just a few hours here and there. The most frustrating thing about this week was staying up until 3:30 in the morning working on a video project knowing that I COULD be sending out query letters or polishing a story or revising a book or creating something entirely new. On the other hand, I did enjoy the editing project...it was another way of using my creativity.

It takes years to build a body of work and find an audience. I am at the very beginning of this whole writing thing; it's something I often forget.

We read stories about a super-successful author like Amanda Hocking and the media makes her into this "media sensation" who found overnight success. But Ms. Hocking is no overnight success; she's been working and writing and trying to find her niche just like everybody else. She simply became frustrated with "big house publishing" and tried something different. She's sold a ton of ebooks and is now the example people point to and say, "Take that Big House Publishing! We're gonna clone a million Amanda Hockings and take you down!"

(FACEPALM)

Not only is that NOT what Ms. Hocking set out to do, she doesn't even think her success will be repeated on a wide scale. For every author like her, there are thousands of others eking out dozens of sales a week. Books are being seen as products and not books; being sold at the same, low price points that made music labels cringe when iTunes came to town (Ms. Hocking has terrific blog post about her success here...you can also find her on the Twitter...and she tweets A LOT).

Her success, however, does make people wonder. I know I have at least one book that is not going to be a very marketable piece for a big publisher. I've toyed with the idea of turning that book into an ebook (after a healthy spit-shine, of course) and trying it out just to test the waters. But I have no real following, very little knowledge of how to market, no outlet for getting pub, and abso-freaking-lutely no idea where to start.

Okay...I lied about the last part. It all starts with the writing part. The stuff after that hurts my brain.

You can't win 'em all...

2011-03-02T03:31:00.001-05:00

While one short story was accepted today, another was rejected.

Don't worry, I'm just fine. These things happen in publishing...when...you're *sob* told *sob sob* you're not *sob sob sob* good enough...

Poor "Baz Ramen and His Great Intergalactic Band." It's a fun story, just not the most marketable one in the world. This means I should give up, right? I'm a hack writer, right?

Oh, the humanity!

On the plus side...new graphic time!

What do we call it when a story gets rejected?

It's been Foxboroughed!

"Vengeance" is Static Movement's!

2011-03-01T13:03:00.000-05:00

Well, I can tell you my writing productivity this week will be very low. I have a freelance video project with a tight deadline to work on and I'm also going to do the site's first-ever book review. Funny how that works...you have to actually READ the book before you review it.

At least I have one nice piece of writing news to share today: my short story "Vengeance" was accepted for an anthology called Serve in Heaven, Reign in Hell from the awesome folks at Static Movement. One thing I'll say for them: they never lack for anthology ideas. Seriously, check out their website and you'll find more than two dozen open anthologies!

A quick summary of "Vengeance" - Calvin Collins is a nobody, a low-level hood with friends in low places--the perfect police informant. Double-crossed by two detectives he foolishly trusted, Calvin gets three bullets in the chest and an all-expenses-paid trip to Hell. There, he faces a choice: a painful, fiery afterlife or the chance to get even. But in order to avenge his death, he must first become Vengeance, a being of pure, dark energy who serves an even darker master.

Oh...oh...oh! Wait...

Do you know what this means? I get to invoke the Peytonometer!!!!!!!

Dial it up to "We Have a Winner," baby!

What does the Peytonometer mean? You'll find the answer here.

Writing Goals for the Week

2011-02-27T17:29:00.000-05:00

This wasn't exactly a banner weekend for writing. I spent most of Saturday involved in a bathroom remodel. Today, I went out with my wife and we're preparing to watch the Oscars.

I did put together a fairly lengthy blog post last night about the importance of self-editing. However, as far as "new" fiction words are concerned, Friday night was it. On the plus side, I did write two short stories this week. I won't post the Peytonometer, but both are now in the "Audibles" stage, which means I need to work on revisions. I think one of these stories will actually fit quite well with an open anthology, but it needs a little spit-shine before I send it in.

I abhor the office work side of writing (the proof is here), but I'd better do some of it this week. I'm going to release a couple of short stories "out into the wild." A story idea may strike at any moment, but for now, I'm devoting the bulk of this week to revising one of my novels. This is the time for I, Crimsonstreak to get a long-awaited, much-needed fourth revision.

I originally wrote the comic superhero story (and by comic, I mean humorous and not comic as in comic book...I know, my head is about to 'splode, too) back in 2008. It features a super-speedster who must save the world after his father decides to play...and win...his own personal game of Risk. Over the years, some of the pop culture references have lost their meaning and I've also grown quite a bit as a writer. What seemed "good" two years ago seems "amateurish" in 2011.

Several months ago...last summer I think...I began reworking I, Crimsonstreak. The revision only covered about three chapters, so I have a lot of work to do. The novel is on the short side, a hair over 60,000 words. I would like to tell 2008 Matt Adams that he should probably try to bump up the word count a bit. The novel also includes an additional 25,000 words of meta-fiction (character bios, journals, newspaper articles, etc.) that need to be re-arranged and put in some kind of appendix format. Right now, the different texts are not in any chronological or thematic order.

The primary goal, however, is to dig into the text and eliminate clunkiness, instances of "telling" instead of "showing," and other deficiencies. The good news: I like revisions. The bad news: I hate revisions.

Such is the life of a writer.

The Importance of Self-Editing

2011-02-27T01:41:00.007-05:00

Although sometimes uncertain of the relevance of my writing advice, I do like to pound out a column here or there on writing process and craft. This isn't expert advice, because I'm not an expert writer.

There is no such thing as an expert writer. Not in academia, not in the editorial department, and certainly not among writers. "Expert" implies someone has mastered the craft and has little else to learn. Anyone who's written a story realizes many opportunities exist within a piece to polish and smooth it out. These changes improve the writing considerably, taking what was once a clunky mess and turning it into serviceable prose. In some cases, these revisions go beyond just serviceable, transforming so-so writing into a breathtaking, organic journey through character, plot, and setting.

Before that can happen, of course, a writer must first transfer the story from the brain to the page. Writing methods vary greatly, from the "2,000 words a day" methodology to the strange world of the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum. My friend Chris from Write Now Indy has an inner editor trapped in his brain who refuses to let him write organically. The mind-melded editor stops him from misspelling a word or constructing a sentence of questionable quality. While admirable, the "head-itor" does not allow for productive writing sessions. Chris' solution, while unconventional, works for him.

I'm partial to the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum. I'm not only the RMWC founder, I'm also a client!
Once the work is complete--I'm talking about everything from simple blog posts to short stories, novellas, to full-length books--you, the writer, are not even close to finished. It's tempting after months or weeks or even years of writing to send that "hot off the press" story out there.

Just-finished manuscripts. All perfect, of course. Ready to be sent to agents and publications...

Wait a second. Someone is telling me not to send them...
Don't do it.

Every writer needs beta-readers and every author needs editors, but the first line of defense when it comes to content and quality control is you. If anyone knows your writing intimately, the verbal ticks and words you lean on too often, the character traits and archetypes you put into your work, it's you.

That's both a quasi-tragic and wonderful thing.

It's quasi-tragic because you are an expert in your own writing and can't often see past your own flaws.

It's wonderful for the same reason. If you can learn to step back and brutalize your own writing, your finished manuscripts will have a certain sense of polish to them. It's hard--the story and characters are your babies and you'll do anything to keep them from harm--but necessary. For this blog post, I'm sharing tips I use to improve my self-editing. Of course, these apply to the point after a story is complete. A self-editor who comes out during the creative process is a real pain and should be ignored under most circumstances.

Put it aside, no matter how long it takes. In my experience, the best time to self-edit is several days after you've finished a project. Maybe that should be several weeks or even a month...but you must mentally separate yourself from the story. When you do this, you'll more easily spot grammatical errors, inelegant language, poor plotting, and hit-you-in-the-face foreshadowing that lacks any semblance of subtlety.

Just print it, baby! The "green" among us will hate this one. I don't know about anyone else, but I find spotting my own mistakes from a computer monitor nearly impossible. For every error I catch, three more get a free pass. I think it has to do with the fact I've written the story at the computer and it's a familiar "brain space" for me to read at. I like to print out my stories (yes, double-spaced, I know, I know...I'm an environmental pariah) and read them in a comfy spot, red pen at the ready. My self-editing is much sharper on paper. On the plus side, I've also started re-reading my short stories on my iPhone (thank you, Dropbox!), a practice that helps me spot errors more consistently. I think it's because I'm seeing the work in a different form and relating to it differently.

Activate the T-800 Adverb-inator. Over the past few years, I've read a lot of columns and posts signaling a de facto War on Adverbs. Some call for the outright elimination of adverbs from your writing. I'm not a radical anti-adverb guy, but I do advocate the unleashing of the T-800 Adverb-inator. In many cases, adverbs can be eliminated; sometimes, I realize I'm stringing a bunch of them together. Anytime a sentence starts to rhyme from all the "-ly" words in it, it's time to pare down the adverbs. The less often you use them, the more impact they'll have when you do.

You've been adverb-inated.
"That" doesn't always fly. The word "that" has many uses. The fish was that big. The horse that won the race is from champion stock. That movie was great. It's a good idea that you decided to come. In many cases, the word "that" can go. I won't put a percentage on it, but in an overwhelming number of cases, you'll find "that" can be omitted. Some sentences need it for flow or clarification purposes...and if it feels right to use "that," by all means do it. However, "that" can also clutter up sentences and add the appearance of wordiness. You can easily trim it most of the time.

"Just" cause for elimination. This is more of a personal problem than anything else. I use the word "just" too much. In a recent short story, I had a sentence in which "just" appeared three different times. Since I've trained myself to spot this problem while self-editing, I nipped it in the bud. "Just" is a filler word...a five-cent word Twinkie. It tastes okay, but it won't fill you up. And too much makes you sick.

They're just Twinkies.
Comma comma down dooby doo down down... Breaking up is hard to do, but using commas correctly can prove even more challenging. When reviewing my work, I'll spot several places in which I've used commas incorrectly or too often. Nothing is worse than the meandering, paragraph-long sentence that's really a bunch of compound sentences strung together with commas. In most cases, shorter, punchier sentences are easier for readers to follow. This piece of advice is completely dependent upon the type of work you're writing. Perhaps the piece requires more flowery, ornate language. If that's the case, go for it...just learn to spot it when that's not your intention.

Theme show. Listen, not every story starts with some grandiose, life-changing theme behind it. I recently wrote a story about a robotic bounty hunter simply because I wanted to write a story about a robotic bounty hunter. Still, that story ended up with a simple theme: a machine that illogically wanted to become more than its programming allowed. Like it or not, your story has some theme or purpose tied to it, even if it's not explicitly stated. Make sure to identify that theme, no matter how elusive it may be.

“I'm simply saying that theme, uh...uh...finds a way.”
"Be" aware. Action verbs, action verbs, action verbs! The verbs of "be" are flexible and familiar. They work well with adverbs, but they severely limit your arsenal. I'm not calling for an all-out War on Verbs of Be, but limit their use. Action verbs engage readers and turn so-so prose into exciting, memorable writing.

Get some perspective...and make sure you stick with it. One of the first projects I ever wrote employed a first-person narrative. That's hard to screw up. Yet, it's still possible to do it. Your first-person narrator can't know certain things, unless he/she is a mind-reader. When working with a first-person narrative, watch out for writing that states exactly what another character is thinking. In third-person writing, look out for any jarring changes in perspective, especially in stories with multiple points of view. A scene that starts from a certain character's perspective should never deviate from that perspective.

So, what's the consistency? If a character on page one doesn't know anything about baseball and then whips out a baseball analogy on page three, you have a consistency problem. If that character uses a baseball analogy near the end of the story, that could be character development (i.e., a friend is trying to convince a non-baseball fan to learn about the game and the character make strides to learn about the sport). Character traits and motivations should not inexplicably vary from scene to scene or page to page. Think about it like this: your friends, your very best friends, usually won't surprise you with their behavior. You know them well enough to predict what they'll say or how they'll react. Characters, to you, should be like your very best friends. When they do something inconsistent with their personalities, you should be able to identify it with laser-like precision.

Jell-O: great as a snack, not so great for character traits.
Don't feel too entitled. When I come up with a concept for a story, I usually conjure a speculative title. Sometimes it's very simple; several of my superhero short stories are based around conceits of the genre and get attention-grabbing titles like "The Villain" and "The Journalist." The title I write at the beginning of my story is simply a guideline. Once the story is finished, a theme or line usually leaps off the page, chokes me, and forces me to re-title my work. Other times, I simply end up with what I started with. Every once in a great while, I know exactly what title I'll use and the story writes to it (i.e., the title is the definitive ending point and the story guides my characters to their final destination).

Read it. Out loud. This one comes from my background in writing for TV news. People may look at you funny, your significant other may tell you to shut up, and you may feel uncomfortable. However, this remains one of the best ways to get a feel for the rhythm and flow of your words. Read the whole thing aloud...you'll be amazed at how many mistakes you'll pick up. Why does this work so well? When I read silently, my brain usually fills in missing words. When I read out loud, I don't have that luxury; if the word isn't there, most of the time my brain won't fill it in as I read. Sure, it will reduce you to being "the crazy person" talking in the corner, but you'll be better for it. This method doesn't work well, however, with novel-length works in their entirety.

End it, already. Writing an effective ending (and recognizing when you've arrived there) is one of the hardest things to do. Cat Rambo blogged about story endings earlier this week, and the advice is stellar. A good self-editor feels the pace of the story and understands when it reaches its conclusion. Writers easily succumb to pitfalls like false endings (Return of the King Syndrome--you know, when the story ends like seven times), unnecessary epilogues, and thematic diversions (when the ending doesn't fit what appears to be the theme of the story). Understanding the moment when the proverbial credits should roll remains a skill that must develop over time.

The story doesn't end until you pin me.
It never hurts to have an experienced editor look over your work, so cultivate your inner self-editor as a first step.

Keep in mind self-editing is simply part of the revision process. You always need to have someone with a critical eye look over your work. And if you do know an experienced editor, well, make friends with them!

Writing Update, 2/25

2011-02-26T02:50:00.002-05:00

With production around 1,500 words tonight, I had another "Average Night."

I finished my short story, "Capes." That means I have another update on the new Peytonometer! We've moved from "First Draft" to "Audibles!" What does this mean? The explanation is here.

Reggie Miller WC Latest and the Inaugural Peytonometer Update

2011-02-25T03:03:00.002-05:00

With a shade over 1,500 words, I managed to have an "Average Night" on the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum. My current short story is a project called "Capes," which is about a legacy hero who absolutely hates wearing a cape, but is forced by circumstances to do so. I think this story will end up in the 4,000-4,500 word range.

It is unfinished, of course, which puts it in the "First Draft" category on the Peyton Progress Meter.

Introducing the Peyton Progress Meter

2011-02-24T02:02:00.001-05:00

I'm stuck at a crossroads on a story I've been writing and decided it would be fun to come up with another "meter" to measure my progress. I already have the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum, a magical meter that keeps me honest on my word counts. Were I to update the RMWC (or simply "the Reg"), tonight I would've technically been blocked by Tayshaun Prince.

But there's no fun in posting that.

So now, I have a new meter. Don't worry, "The Reg" isn't going anywhere! The new progress meter features Peyton Manning and is intended to track the individual progress of a work. You'll find the Peyton Progress Meter (PPM or "Peytonometer") below:

A quick guide to the meaning:

First Draft: I probably should've called this "Reading the Defense" or "First Down," but I kind of like the idea of Peyton coming up to the line of scrimmage and getting his "first draft" of the defensive game plan. Obviously, this category means a story or book is in the process of being written.

Audibles: Step 2 on the Peytonometer is "Audibles," which translates into "Revisions." When a story/novel hits this stage, the first draft is complete and the story is being revised/reworked/rewritten.

Beta Reader Handoff: Once I've called my audibles, it's time to send my story off to my beta readers (I'm actually looking for some if anyone's interested). This stage includes getting comments back from readers and making changes based on their suggestions.

Going Deep: Once I've taken into account the suggestions from my beta readers, it's time to release the work into the wild! That means sending the short story out to a publication or directing a query letter toward an agent or publisher.

We Have a Winner: This is the triumphant moment that a work gets accepted for publication! Raise that Lombardi Trophy up high, Peyton! Congratulations...we have a winner!

Of course, not every story comes up big. Some are one-and-done, some advance to the AFC Championship Game before falling short, and others simply fade away. These stories have been rejected...or as the Peytonometer calls it, Foxboroughed!

The following tragic graphic reflects these unfortunate situations:

You can expect guest appearances from the Peytonometer as I continue to share my writing progress.

Viva la Revolucion! Ebooks...what?

2011-02-23T03:52:00.003-05:00

All right, I've been thinking something over lately. Since the creative part of my brain isn't working very well tonight (see meandering progress on the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum), it's time to try something else. I'm not going to sit here and drill through my temple while trying to force my way through a short story.

So, a blog post it is.

If you've been following the publishing industry at all lately, you know it's not all wine and roses. It's far, far from it. Borders is closing a bunch of stores, mid-list authors will likely get the shaft, and agents are less likely to take on new clients. It means that a stop at your local bookstore (if you actually have one to go to) will be chock-full of books from James Patterson, Nora Roberts, Dan Brown, and Patricia Cornwell. These are familiar authors who generate sales and with the current economic climate, bookstores will lean on them.

Where does that leave someone like me? I mean, heck, I'm barely an author. I've had my novel soundly rejected by several agents. I've had a few short stories published in admittedly obscure places. I have little to no web presence and 26 followers on Twitter. I'm fairly certain 14 of those followers are fake Ukrainian smut-mongers. The other 12 are my brother's various web-based alter-egos.

In the past several months, I've really re-focused the Flying Trapeezius. I've generated content on a consistent basis. True, some days it's just "I wrote 1,300 words today, here's a graphic featuring Reggie Miller." Other times, I try to give people an insight into my projects or share a triumph publicly, such as the publication of one of my short stories. I attempt, with limited success, to offer advice on writing technique and craft and the business side of things.

The numbers in terms of page views just aren't there, which is fine by me. I'm not trying to make money off this blog; it's really more of a mad science lab than anything else, a place for me to vent and write and put my ideas out there. I know I can and must do a better job of attracting readers. TFT is a place for me to write about writing while adding occasional flavors of the Colts or Star Wars into the mix. I'm proud of my work here.

Lately, I've been wondering about ebooks. You know...those things you can buy and read on a Kindle or Nook or iPad. The royalties are pretty good on these things...authors get 70% for each sale. It has seriously crossed my mind to take one of my books and send it into the ebook marketplace to get poked and prodded. Specifically, I would take one of my "lesser" works...one that I don't know if a publisher/agent would be sold on...and put it out there. I have a specific project in mind that I think would be great for this experiment.

However, I'm not sure this is the time to do it. I'm starting to feel like I'm gaining a little bit of traction as far as my work goes and I don't want to damage that. In addition, justified or not, there remains a stigma that self-published work is of inferior quality. This is a perfectly logical line of thinking; after all, books from the big publishing houses go through several rounds of edits. If I were to put one of my books up for sale, I'd be the only de facto editor. And while I'll try very hard, the possibility remains that I'll misspell a word or have some great logic gaffe that kills the entire story.

Yet, despite those issues, I want to be a forward-thinking author/entrepreneur. I don't want to be shackled by the bonds of major publishing houses that say only their books are of high quality. No one will ever get to read my work if it remains on my hard drive. Wouldn't it be nice to share it?

The argument keeps ping-ponging back and forth in my head...and I don't know what to do. However, I do know the following things.

I need beta readers. If I were to try to turn my book into an ebook, I'd need several beta readers. These would be people of varied expertise whose insights would prove invaluable toward refining my work. I'd need some adept at grammar, others tuned into plot structure, some good at both, and a few unafraid to unapologetically rip the work the shreds.

I need to make sure I don't rush it. The last time I rushed a book edit, I mangled my manuscript while trying to give it a "quick coat of polish" and ended up making the kinds of mistakes seventh graders are famous for. As you can imagine, the agent rejected my book. After re-reading my efforts to "improve" the work, I can see why.

I need a good cover. I'm not a trained graphic artist. Even though I enjoy playing with Photoshop, I'm not sure my designs would do the trick. I would need professional consultation or one heckuva great "group think" to come up with something eye-catching.

I need an actual marketing strategy. Turning my book into an ebook and placing it on Amazon.com won't instantly sell a thousand copies. Heck, it probably won't even sell five. However, if I keep investing my time on getting publishing credits, maybe I can start to build an audience. Maybe I can figure out a way to get "buzz" or go "viral" (yes, my stomach turned after writing both of those buzzwords). The Super Bowl comes to Indy next year (maybe). Let's just drop a bunch of t-shirts from the sky!

I need to learn more. I've been doing a bit of research on ebooks lately, but I don't even own a Kindle. The device kick-started this whole ebook thing...and now it's starting to take hold, especially among publishing professionals. How can I understand the impact of the Kindle/Nook/iPad/Sony E-Reader/Insert Another Ebook Reader Here if I don't have one of my own? What works and what doesn't when it comes to ebooks? How do you format them? What price do you sell them at? Research, research, research.

I need to stand out. There are thousands of authors out there...and that estimate is on the conservative side. Go to a bookstore; you'll find an author behind each and every one of those books on the shelves. The ebook "revolution" now means even more people can publish their work. This crowds the marketplace, dilutes quality, and makes it harder for the cream to rise to the top.

I need to step back. Writing a story is a euphoric experience for me. Every time I start a new project or read something I'm working on, I get excited. I think that shines through in every piece of writing I work on. The excitement sometimes gets the best of me; I want to do things now, not later. Later sucks; later is stupid. But later can also be smart.

Wow. Another late night...and I'm so full of questions.

Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update, 2/22

2011-02-23T02:25:00.000-05:00

The words flowed very easily last night as I wrapped up a story and started a new one. Tonight, however, I can't seem to find much of a rhythm. Still, I managed to commit about 1,300 words to the page.

Here's a quick summary of this week's writing endeavors:

Vengeance: Small-time criminal Calvin Collins gets double-crossed by two corrupt cops. Three gunshots later, his wandering soul is given a choice: eternal damnation or the chance for revenge. Months later, he emerges as Vengeance, a powerful being obsessed with meting revenge and guiding corrupt souls to their ultimate doom. (complete, ready for spit & polish)

Capes: Legacy superhero Skyfire gets the chance to join the famed Heroic Guild, but struggles with the group's one unbreakable rule: everybody wears a cape. Skyfire hates capes. (work in progress)

So, yeah, a couple of superhero stories are percolating. I really need to get back to revising a novel or finishing a book that's three-quarters written. Perhaps I'll be able to refocus over the weekend.

Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update, 2/21

2011-02-22T03:02:00.001-05:00

After struggling to write much this weekend, I finished a new short story simply titled "Vengeance." It's very similar in tone to "Absolution," though a bit less graceful in its execution.

I also started another new story tonight, giving me 3,200 words. That means I'm more than just an Average Night...I'm Sold-Out Conseco!

Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update, 2/19

2011-02-19T18:35:00.001-05:00

Working on a new short story. I've only managed 1,000 words so far today. Maybe I'll be more productive tonight or tomorrow.

For now, it's just free throws and jump shots.

"Hitman" Downed by Reality

2011-02-18T12:59:00.002-05:00

This is how I want to remember Bob Sanders...as a Super Bowl champion and Defensive Player of the Year. I want to remember how he decleated Laurence Maroney in the AFC Championship Game...I want to remember how he launched himself like the Human Bullet at receivers, running backs, quarterbacks, and anyone else foolish enough to wander into his target zone.

But today, we mourn the passing of Bob Sanders the Colt. For every hitman must meet his maker someday, and for #21, that day is today. It is neither a surprise nor a shock that Bob Sanders is no longer with the Colts. He missed more games (64) than he played in (48) since being drafted in the second round in 2004. Yet, we fans know he was a game changer, a rare player who, when healthy, changed the complexity of the game for the Colts. We lament how his body failed him and did little to justify the generous contract awarded to him.

It is my belief that Bob Sanders will once again roam the football field, stalking opposing players, ringing the bells of receivers who dare cross the middle, and knocking running backs on their posteriors. We have only but one last plea to offer our beloved hitman: choose your next team wisely.

And not this. NEVER this:

Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update, 2/16

2011-02-17T03:02:00.001-05:00

After worrying about a mini-slump, I surged ahead today with 2,200 words, putting me firmly in the Average Night category.

My current work is sort of a "reverse Absolution." I'm trying to do a story about a criminal who is killed and given the chance to get even with the corrupt police officers responsible for his death. The protagonist isn't exactly the most likable guy on the planet...but that's kind of the point.

An idea night and a little math

2011-02-16T12:22:00.001-05:00

I have a deep, dark confession to make.

I haven't written anything story-wise for three nights in a row. Sunday, I spent the day with my wife; Monday, I ended up editing a story; last night, I had an idea night.

I haven't wasted my time and I'm not out of ideas. I simply don't have a story percolating that must be written right now. I've talked about my difficulties with having a set writing schedule (my Writing Process post). If I'm not inspired, it's hard for me to sit in front of the keyboard and write. So, without a "gotta do it" idea in my head, I haven't had the most productive three days in terms of writing.

But that's okay...as long as those three days don't turn into a week or two weeks.

So, last night I decided to have an Idea Night. I grabbed my trusty old high-school era notebook and jotted down a few ideas for some stories. I do this every once in a while; it's creativity in its purest form, a writer's meditative moment. I came up with four reasonably decent ideas for short stories, although there wasn't one that leaped off the page and screamed, "Write me! Write me now!" Still, although I didn't write a single word of a story, I still had writing on my mind. I think that's the most important thing of all.

I also started to wonder if I was in a kind of mini-slump. Three days. No words. But I thought about it a little bit more: I'm still blogging, which means I'm flexing my writing muscles. I'm thinking about ideas for stories, which means I'm flexing my writing muscles. I edited a story and had it accepted, which means I'm flexing my writing muscles.

Still, the thoughts didn't console me. I needed some actual proof. I've had a tremendous burst of creativity since December. And even though I'm waiting to hear back on several projects, I've had a pretty good run over the last two-and-a-half months.

So here's a quick look at my production since December:

It really has been a productive span. I hope I'll have an inspired idea for tonight so I can post another inane Reggie Miller Writing Continuum update.

Short story accepted

2011-02-15T12:28:00.006-05:00

(OLD-SCHOOL BREAKING NEWS BEEP) Da-da-duh-duh-da-da-da-da...

This just in to the Flying Trapeezius newsroom.

My short story, "No Errors in Programming" has been accepted for Static Movement's Bounty Hunters anthology. I've heard no timeline on publication for the anthology, but it was a quick turnaround in terms of acceptance. I submitted the story early this morning (or late last night) and woke up to find an acceptance email in my inbox.

A quick summary:

Robot bounty hunter Molitor (Mobile Operation Licensed for Infiltration, Termination, Observation, and Reconnaissance) never compromises in tracking down its quarry. But when the machine accepts a contract to terminate a member of a well-known royal family, certain parameters don't compute, forcing the machine to recalculate the best course of action.

I wrote this one specifically for this particular anthology. I was originally going to do a story about a tough-as-nails female bounty hunter. A remnant of this idea comes from an early line in the story:

The last person who told Molitor that bounty hunting was a man’s profession ended up as an unrecognizable dark splotch on the main concourse of Xenia VII.

However, as soon as I wrote that line, I decided it would be fun to do a story about a mechanized bounty hunter with an identity crisis. Thus, the robotic Molitor was born and I wracked my brain trying to think of a suitable acronym (it ended up being: Mobile Operation Licensed for Infiltration, Termination, Observation, and Reconnaissance). The character, of course, is named after my favorite pro baseball player growing up, Paul Molitor.

The original draft was about 5,200 words. I pared it down to a shade under 5,000 in the final draft.

The most challenging part of editing and rereading the piece was making sure Molitor's gender remained undefined. The robot is a machine, so I didn't want to use any masculine words like "his" or "him" to describe Molitor (even though the machine possesses a booming voice and definite male tendencies). I used "its" in place of "his"; words like "the robot" and "the machine" in place of "he." It's not a huge deal, but I definitely spotted a few times where I broke this rule. I think I'd eliminated them all by the final read-through. I think.

Anyway...no other writing news to report today. I spent last night editing the story about Molitor, so I don't have any progress to share concerning the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum.

Saturday's Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Status 2/12

2011-02-12T23:23:00.000-05:00

A Saturday of stop-and-go writing, but I managed to pound out more than 1,800 words today. It was enough to finish a new short story I've been working on. It's pretty dorky, but I named a robotic bounty hunter "Molitor" after my long-time baseball fave Paul Molitor. I even came up with a stupid acronym to explain the name: "Mobile Operation Licensed for Infiltration, Termination, Observation, and Reconnaissance."

I was shooting for something in the 5,000-word range, but the finished product is closer to 5,200 words. I'll probably do a little trimming.

Waiting is the hardest part...

2011-02-12T03:25:00.001-05:00

I was going to finish up a new story tonight, however I ended up submitting a couple of short stories for consideration instead. It's all part of that office work that writers are not immune to (and boy, do I love it!).

It gave me the chance to look at my spreadsheet of stories to see which stories I'm waiting to hear about. I can be a bit of an obsessive email checker...and owning an iPhone certainly doesn't help! Yet, the email address I use solely for my writing projects hasn't perked up at all (except for a few messages from that poor, deposed Nigerian prince. Will someone PLEASE do something about that? I hear millions of dollars could be yours).

The internet is a terrific tool...and is both the lifeblood and bane of my writing existence. Without terrific sites like Duotrope, I wouldn't know where to submit work. Of course, the other six million writers submitting short stories would be in the same situation. But the internet is the great democratizer; if you have the least bit of know-how and an inkling to write any type of story, you can find a market for it. It is both a blessing and a curse in that it's easy to find places to submit stories, but it also increases competition because others can also easily find those places as well.

I can't speak much of the publishing model before the internet because I was not a writer then. I know that people mailed manuscripts to popular publications with self-addressed stamped envelopes to learn if they got an acceptance or rejection. I'm going to speculate that competition was fierce then, too...but mailing manuscripts also became an expensive proposition. I know I would have a hard time printing out copies of my work, paying for postage on SASE's, and then paying postage to send the manuscript somewhere.

This is where the internet has become such a boon for writers. We can now easily and cheaply send our stories and expect a fairly prompt reply. But someone still has to read that story. Someone has to determine if it is of worthy quality. Someone has to write the author back to say "um, no" or "wow, yes!" And now, as submissions become easier to send, I'm betting editors are drowning in a pool of submissions.

Right now, I'm waiting to hear back on eight different projects (it's really ten, but I just sent out two of them today and to expect instant replies for those stories is a ridiculous thought). I wrote a couple of those stories specifically for certain publications...which means those stories won't be going anywhere else if they're rejected (well, I could send them to other places, but they'll need some MAJOR tweaking). Several of those stories were sent in December. It is now the middle of February and I'm still playing the waiting game.

This isn't a complaint; it's a reality. In addition, I tend to hit submission deadlines way earlier (it goes back to high school and college when an instructor would assign a project and I'd get it finished weeks in advance). For instance, some of those deadlines won't hit until March. That means acceptances/rejections won't go out until March...and probably not until April, when editors are assembling their table of contents. So, when you send a story in December or January, you're going to have to wait. Like me.

When you produce something you believe to be of high quality, you want to know if it'll make the cut. You hope for feedback--positive or negative--as soon as you can get it. That's where things like Twitter and Facebook and email fail us...we get so used to INSTANT FEEDBACK that we forget there are dozens or hundreds of stories that someone has to read and then reply to. It's a case where the instant nature of the internet is deceptive because we often forget the human factor involved.

Knowing that still doesn't make the waiting part any easier.

Cha-ching!

2011-02-12T01:25:00.002-05:00

This is not to gloat.

This is not to tell you how awesome I am.

This is to share an accomplishment with you.

I received in the mail today my very first check for a story I've written. It is a milestone. Sure, I will gladly send stories to publications that don't pay because I love to write. But to get something beyond simple a contributor's copy is a very satisfying thing. This isn't big-time money, but it's something, another step in the right direction for my writing pursuits.

This is for "Absolution" (read or listen to it here) at Wily Writers for Speculative Fiction. The story is 4,000 words and the check is for 50 bucks...that works out to 1.25 cents per word! That's semi-pro payment, which according to this blog post I wrote last month, makes "Absolution" my first Double-A story!

I was going to post an image of the check with key details blacked out (bank account, check number, address of issuer, etc.), but decided against it. Who knows what someone could do with that information?

What will I use my new fortune for? I don't know. Valentine's Day is coming up, the upstairs DVD player has finally bitten the dust, or I could always buy new copies of the Powers Anthology and come up with the first-ever TFT giveaway contest. The possibilities are endless...or as far as 50 bucks can take me.

Latest Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update 2/10

2011-02-11T03:08:00.001-05:00

So, Ray Allen holds the record for most three-pointers in a career. I knew I should've put his shooting hand in a wood-chipper when I had the chance.

Don't worry, Reggie's still the best; that's why you don't see the Ray Allen Writing Continuum! I pounded out more than 1,700 words tonight, which is an "Average Night" on the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum. We love you, #31!

Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update 2/9

2011-02-10T02:31:00.001-05:00

I've blogged the last couple of days, but failed to log any time actually writing stories. So tonight I'm happy to say that I managed to have an average night on the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum.

I'm currently working on a story about a robotic bounty hunter. I'm not 100% sure where this is going to go right now, but I'd better figure it out quickly...I'm 1,500 words in!

Character Archetypes I Love

2011-02-09T03:19:00.001-05:00

A dirty word in the writing world is "stock character." Editors fear these intrepid characters because of their familiarity, but readers often embrace them for the same reason. Stories, especially fantastical ones, need a sense of home cooking to put readers at ease. If something is too outlandish, most readers may not want to spend too much time in the world the writer has created.

Archetypes and stock characters exist for a very simple reason: they're familiar and easy to identify. Sure, some of them may end up being eye-rollingly terrible or downright laughable, but a skilled writer knows how to freshen up these archetypes so the characters are not cliche or one-dimensional.

Here are a few of my favorites...and keep in mind this is not intended to be an unbridged list of every single character archetype.

Sage Old Geezer Who's Gonna Die. You've seen this one dozens of times; an old man or woman who possesses otherworldly knowledge or insight that must be imparted to a worthy successor. And while their knowledge lives on, the Sage Old Geezer Who's Gonna Die won't. There is usually some element of self-sacrifice in this noble character who gives him or herself up to the forces of evil in order to help others understand a great truth. Or something. This character can be gratingly stereotypical in the wrong hands.

His Dad Was Awesome, But He's a Schmuck. This character is the product of a broken home. His father invented something terrific, changed the world in a significant way, or was filthy-stinking rich. Yet, while Daddy was out making the big bucks, he kind of ignored Junior and made some powerful enemies who decided the world would be a better place without him. The son has either coasted through life or been swept away from his privileged life. Others expect great things from him, but he's a total screw up who drinks too much and can't do anything right until The Moment It Really Matters.

I Like Shadows and Snapping Your Neck. Nothing's better than the strong, silent type obsessed with stalking his prey. While others are having the time of their lives, this character roams the shadowy underworld looking for ways to profit from their mistakes. This character could be an assassin or a bounty hunter...in the end, he always gets his man. Unless, of course, he's aboard Jabba's Sail Barge and happens to, oh I don't know, get bested by a blind guy.

I'm New, Enthusiastic, and Willing to Do Whatever It Takes to Succeed. Ah, the overwhelmed intern. The new employee. The girl fresh from college who's ready to collate, brainstorm, and work, work, work until she nearly collapses from exhaustion. You can taunt her, deprive her of food and sleep, sabotage her projects, or make her look bad in front of the boss, yet somehow she manages to come out on top because she's new, enthusiastic, and willing to do whatever it takes to succeed. Some readers will love her, but most will loathe her because Nobody. Can. Be. That. Good.

His Face May Be Stubbly, But Underneath It All He's a Really Good Guy. This character pretends not to like anybody and hangs out with the wrong crowd. He appears to be obsessed with things like money, fast cars, and awesome technologies, but all he really needs is a friend. Just when you think he's deserted you forever, he dashes in at the last minute and saves the day, reminding everyone that His Face May Be Stubbly, But Underneath It All He's a Really Good Guy.

Tremble at My Feet, I Am Lord of This Realm and You Shall Bow to Me. Also known simply as "the dark lord," this character is a man or woman who appears to be in complete control of everything. They're super-powerful, super-smart, and super-arrogant. Their true weakness is their lust for power...an unfortunate trait that allows them to overlook minor details like oddly-placed thermal exhaust ports or Hobbits IN YOUR OWN BACKYARD who possess YOUR MAGICAL RING.

He'll Follow You Through Hell Because, You Know, You're Buddies. Ah, the loyal friend. There's nothing you can do that will make him go away. You can steal his girlfriend, beat him with a chair, and routinely swipe the last piece of pizza and his loyalty will never waver. Even though you'll have that rough patch where you argue and appear to go your separate ways, he always comes back. Because, you know, you're buddies.

The Line Between Good and Evil Is a Tightrope...And I Walk the Line. Sadistic or dedicated? It's really hard to decide in this case. This type of character has a strong moral code...it just so happens that this moral code is kinda screwed up. He or she is always looking for some great truth and is often suspicious of the status quo. They're so dedicated to their cause that they'll risk anything to prove their point, even if that means their own death. Good guy, bad guy, or nutjob? It's a question without a true answer.

Women Should Vote and Be Put in Places of Power and You're Going to Accept It or I Will Kick You. This is your hard-driving, tough-talking, high-strung leader-type. She could be a princess or a senator or a top diplomat. Most people say it's a man's world, but she throws her head back, laughs, and reminds everyone that no man could stand the pain of childbirth. No one argues...because if they tried, she'd kick their butt with rhetoric (or her actual foot). Stay out of her way, people!

I'll Work Hard, I'll Commit to Your Cause, and I Promise I Won't Screw Up...Too Bad I'm Lousy at Life and Keeping Promises. This character is the butt of everyone's jokes. He's mind-bendingly awful at almost everything except for being committed to your cause. Sometimes he drinks too much and gives the enemy a detailed battle plan, sometimes he sells your magical sword for a shiny object, and sometimes he almost manages to be useful (but not often). Still, you admire his loyalty and (sometimes) courage, and hope for the day when he'll do something right...just don't cross your fingers.

I Have to Obey My Master Until You're Three-Fourths Through the Book and I Realize the Folly of My Ways. The main bad guy snaps his fingers, and this minion is here to do whatever is needed. He'll taunt you, torture you, deprive you of food, burn your village, and laugh at your constant pain. But somewhere along the line, he'll realize he's the one who's been tortured over the years and rebel against his dark master, allowing you to escape and asking you to take him with you. Given his track record, you should probably dump him off at the nearest restaurant and then speed away.

I Will Not Fight. I Cannot Fight. You Killed My Friend or Lover. I'm the Greatest Warrior Ever and You Will Die by My Sword! This character simply wants to be left alone. Years ago, he was his country's/world's/galaxy's greatest fighter, but strayed from that path long ago. He's pudgy now, his muscles more fit for a Jell-O mold than combat. Oh, what's that? His friend/lover/child is dead at the hands of the big bad? Oh, baby, it's personal! In a furious training montage, this reluctant warrior finds his swagger and gets reacquainted with his signature weapon, emerging as a ripped, revenge-fueled killing machine! Just make sure he has a plucky sidekick...this character is so filled with angst and rage that he's incapable of anything remotely resembling fun.

Readers' Mailbag

2011-02-08T02:17:00.000-05:00

"Real questions from fake people"

QUESTION: So Matt, you wrote this one blog post about office work. And in that blog post, you mentioned that you should have a dedicated email for your writing work. Why do you post at The Flying Trapeezius under the name "Studicus?" Isn't that the exact opposite of your advice? And why is your Twitter handle @statomatty? Shouldn't it be like @MattAdamsauthor or something? Or at least @Studicus?

Phil from Punxsutawney, PA

ANSWER: Um, good point, Phil. I've been thinking about this a lot. Studicus is an internet handle I've had for a long time and I don't want to give it up. It's a nickname that's stuck with me since high school. When I first started blogging, I was very paranoid about what I posted and didn't want to "expose" my public identity. I don't really care about that now. Statomatty is another nickname I had in high school and I use it for email and such. It seemed a unique Twitter handle...after all...there are soooooooo many out there. I'm still getting a handle on establishing an internet presence...and you've given me some real food for thought. I suppose The Flying Trapeezius doesn't scream "author blog," does it?

QUESTION: So I see there's a link to another blog called I, Crimsonstreak. It has two posts and the interface is ugly. What gives?

Dean from Lincoln, IA

ANSWER: About two years ago, I discovered the infinite power of internet marketing. I thought I could use that to get buzz for my book I, Crimsonstreak. So I made a Facebook profile and started a blog. Then I realized how much work that would actually be and gave up. Yeah, after two posts. I was also concerned that publishing excerpts of my novel could hurt its chances of being published. That's probably rubbish, but it was a concern at the time. I haven't deleted the blog yet because I keep thinking there's untapped potential there. It just takes a lot of time and effort that I'm devoting to my other writing endeavors and The Flying Trapeezius.

QUESTION: Why do you think you're a writer? I've never heard of you. Along those lines, I've never heard of any of the publications where your "stories" have appeared and the ones I have heard of are way past their prime.

Rachel from Cleveland, OH

ANSWER: Thanks for reading, Rachel. Obviously, if you're sending me questions, you've read something I've written. And if I've written something, then I'm a writer. Coincidentally, the fact that you haven't taken the time to read the excellent stories at A Thousand Faces or Wily Writers for Speculative Fiction isn't my fault.

QUESTION: I'm a prospective author seeking advice for my career. Since you've had so many stories published and you write like you know what you're talking about, you've obviously figured out the publishing business. Will you help me?

Balian from Jerusalem

ANSWER: Well, Balian, I've had six short stories published. That hardly qualifies me as an expert on publishing! I'd be happy to read a sample of your work and critique it if that would be helpful. No charge, of course.

QUESTION: Do you ever reuse character names? Like, do you get fixated on a name and it appears in a ton of your work?

Alan from Snakewater, MT

ANSWER: Oh, heck yeah. A few of my go-to names include Sid Lumpkin, which is a name I give to a slightly overweight, bureaucratic boss. He appears in one of my books and a short story. The SimCo company also appears in a couple of stories and is quickly becoming the "ACME" of my writing portfolio. In two of my stories, the company manufactures robots that have a tendency to malfunction. A character named Baron Gallant originally appeared in a story I wrote long ago in college; the name resurfaced in the superhero farce "The Bank Loan." In that story, Baron Gallant was a gruff, unappreciative, and stressed-out hero in need of a loan. So, yeah, sometimes I recycle for my own amusement.

QUESTION: Can I get a Flying Trapeezius hat? Preferably one with your picture on it? And could you autograph it?

Lois from Metropolis

ANSWER: The Flying Trapeezius does not currently sell merchandise. After all, three people read this website. However, if you're dying for a piece of Studicus, you can always order this stylish hat with the logo of my fantasy football team.

QUESTION: In your story "Absolution," what's the deal with the Notre Dame stuff? I mean, the family's name is O'Riley. You mention pubs and Catholicism and wakes and stuff. It's pretty obvious the family is Irish. Why bring the Fighting Irish into it? Don't you owe Notre Dame money now?

Rudy from South Bend, IN

ANSWER: RUDY! RUDY! RUDY! Thanks for writing. Sure, the O'Riley family is clearly of Irish descent in a kind of Bizarro Boston world, but I like to add sports references to my work. Odd as it sounds, making the family a bunch of Notre Dame fans helped me connect with them. You see, I tend to categorize people by their sports affiliations because I'm shallow like that. And I don't think Notre Dame can charge me for mentioning the university.

QUESTION: So what's the deal with the ending to "In Memoriam?" Is the guy dead or not? I need to know now! He faked his own death, didn't he? C'mon, man! Tell me!

Barry from Central City

ANSWER: Okay, Barry. Slow down! I'm afraid I can't tell you what happened at the end of "In Memoriam." It's completely up to the reader. Did Clinton Abernathy Warner fake his own death? It's possible. Is he still alive? It's possible. Did the crowd simply see what it wanted to see? That's another possibility. I really like that story because of the ambiguity of the ending. You can interpret it in several ways.

QUESTION: You've posted a long list of your current projects on your blog. If you had to pick five favorite short stories, what would they be?

Anna Marie from Caldecott County, MS

ANSWER: Wow. That's a tough one. I become pretty attached to my stories...I hate it when they get rejected. It truly feels sometimes like your child just got cut from the varsity basketball team. However, if I had to pick my favorites, they would be (in no particular order):

Swatch: Guardian of Time. With most members of the Time Rangers on vacation, Madame Timeweaver begrudgingly enlists Swatch to preside over a vital mission. Determined to prove his worth, the easily-distracted Swatch screws up the mission and scrambles to find a solution in the Temporal Mists.

In Memoriam: The loss of a firefighter stings a community; more so, after the man's double-life as the mysterious "Wraith" is revealed. Those who know the man mourn his passing during a memorial service and all witness a chilling sight that defies explanation.

A Wing and a Plan: A super-intelligent penguin declares war on humanity, citing the human race's mistreatment of penguin kind. He works to raise an army of penguin super soldiers, until the foibles of his own kind unwittingly befall him.

Should've Stuck with the Chicken Story: A TV news reporter and his trusty photographer scoff at the chicken wing shortage story they're forced to cover...until a strange outbreak of mindless, hulking creatures leads them to reconsider their opinion of the story.

I Took Over the World for This? Dementius has finally beaten the good guys and taken over the world. Instead of groveling at his feet, his subjects seem more concerned with border disputes, petitions for universal health care, and other petty concerns, leaving the ruler to wonder what compelled him to take over the world in the first place.

To the Infinity Room! A man named Mervin Garth collects items from alternate universes using a device called The Infinity Room. He cares so much about this collection that he sometimes neglects his dim-witted assistant Nathaniel. But when the boy goes missing, Mervin realizes that the priceless items in his collection have little true value and begins a desperate search through the infinite cosmos to find the boy.

Yes...that's six stories, not five. I've never been great at math...just ask my high school calculus teacher.

QUESTION: What's with the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum and wouldn't you be better served, I don't know, actually writing something instead of making up a stupid readers' mailbag?

Conrad from St. Louis, MO

ANSWER: The Reggie Miller Writing Continuum is an informal tool I use to track my daily writing progress. That's all it is. As for the question of whether I should've focused on something a little more substantive...well...yeah. I probably should have. I just didn't have the inspiration to write much tonight in terms of a story. At least I've written something.

Boom, baby!

2011-02-06T01:47:00.001-05:00

I reached a milestone today. For the first time in the history of the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum, I reached the fabled Reggie at the Garden status! Earlier today, I was struggling to get past Tayshaun Prince. My efforts to write this afternoon produced only 450 words. But tonight, I had an unprecedented surge of creativity, pounding out a total of 5,400 words! That's more than an Average Night, more than Sold-Out Conseco!

I hate to congratulate myself...then again, I created the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum specifically for my writing endeavors, so who else would I congratulate?

BOOM, BABY! It felt kind of like this:

I now have a massive short story that's approaching novella length. You can bet there will be plenty of editing for this one!

What I'm working on

2011-02-05T13:09:00.000-05:00

It's a snowy, icy morning in Central Indiana...the perfect time to park myself in front of my keyboard and work on some writing projects. My plans for the day are pretty well set. Before I get knee-deep in the creative impulse, I thought I'd take a moment to share what I've been working on lately.

Later this month, my short story "Absolution" will appear on the Wily Writers of Speculative Fiction website. The story won't be everyone's cup of tea...it's a little darker in tone than many of my other stories. Still, it'll be nice to have it published. It's one of those things that just kind of fell into place. Wily Writers uses themes for its reading periods...and the theme for February happened to be "Vigilantes." I took one of my non-superhero stories and sent it in. The neat thing about the website is that it does both a text-based and audio version of each story. So not only will readers get to read "Absolution," they'll also get to hear it if they so choose.

I have several short stories out on submission right now. It will likely be a little while before I hear about an acceptance or rejection because most of the deadlines actually fall in March. It varies by editor, but unless the reader absolutely hates your story from the get-go, you usually won't know until after the submission deadline if your story makes it.

Here's a look at the stories currently in Submission Purgatory:

Sparky Save the World (5,700 words). This is my first attempt at a zombie story. I'm not a very good horror writer (explanation here), but I thought I'd give it a whirl. It's not really a horror story anyway. The tale revolves around a border protection agent whose bomb-sniffing "dog" is actually his former partner James Sparkowich, a man who was turned into an UNDEAD (UNnaturally DE-evolved Anthropological Degenerate) and then trained to seek out explosive materials and biological agents at our nation's ports. When confronted with a massive, potentially catastrophic shipment of weapons, the UNDEAD nicknamed "Sparky" proves his ultimate worth. This story was submitted to an anthology called "Live and Let Undead," which is supposed to be about how to integrate zombies into daily life.

Last Stand on Cyclonus Seven (7,200 words). I submitted this story for an anthology called "Gods of Justice." It's a superhero-themed story collection, which is right in my wheelhouse. The summary: Cyclonus Seven was just an orange blot on the star chart; an easily-skipped stopover on the way to Earth. But when an overwhelming army storms the planet, a single guardian knows the truth: if Cyclonus Seven falls, Earth follows suit. Fifty-two heroes arrive to answer the distress call. They are greatly outnumbered, hopelessly fractured, and desperately low on time. But wave after wave, fallen comrade after fallen comrade, they fight knowing that victory means sacrifice and death. Everyone would remember Cyclonus Seven. And no one would forget the last stand.

Baz Ramen and His Great Intergalactic Band (5,800 words). This is an odd story told in a "Behind the Music" fashion. It details the rise and fall of the galaxy's most popular band. I honestly have no idea where the inspiration for this story came from and it's nearly impossible to fit it into a specific genre. I'm fond of the tale...I just don't know where it fits. That's why I submitted it to an anthology called "Liminality," which is looking for short fiction that's science fiction/fantasy but crosses into other genres and doesn't fit neatly into a specific niche. If a story about an intergalactic band that falls from grace after being unwittingly used as hitmen for a nefarious crime figure doesn't meet that description, I don't know what does!

Gus and Mariel (4,900 words). The idea for this one started off as "I'm going to write a Godzilla story from the perspective of Godzilla!" I came up with a giant, building-size puffin named Gus who just wanted to be left alone. The original title, in fact, was "Leave Gus Alone." But as I wrote the story, it turned into this cute little tale about a puffin who falls in love with another bird and then goes on a cross-country quest to find her after her sudden, unexpected departure. Of course, Gus steps into radioactive goo and grows to epic proportions, leaving an accidental trail of destruction across the country as he tries to find his lady love. I submitted this one to an anthology called "Attack of the 50FT Creature," which is a collection of stories about large creatures who wreak havoc on the world. When I saw the antho was accepting submissions, I thought, "Gee, I just happen to have a giant creature story sitting on my hard drive."

Grisham's Council (6,200 words). I submitted this story for an anthology called "Beta City." It's a collection of superhero stories set in an already-defined universe. This presented a few unique challenges because there was quite a bit of background info to play with...the book is actually a sequel to another anthology. It wasn't restrictive in the least, but I needed to do a little homework to make sure my story fit into the universe. The gist of the anthology is that an alien force is invading earth. The bad guys specifically target Beta City, which is a haven for superpowered beings. I came up with an antihero named Grisham. He's a "good guy" who's rough around the edges. Upset with the heroes' lack of urgency against the alien threat, he strikes it out on his own and fights the bad guys on his own terms until he comes to realize that he really can't do it by himself.

Family Tradition (3,000 words). A young man recounts his family's futile superhero legacy during a battle with the villain responsible for his father's death. Dressed as the armored hero "CLANK," he tries to save the city of Cincinnati while coming to terms with his embarrassing family tradition.

To the Infinity Room! (5,700 words) I'm proud of this story, which is about a man named Mervin Garth who collects items from alternate universes using a device called The Infinity Room. He cares so much about this collection that he sometimes neglects his dim-witted assistant Nathaniel. But when the boy goes missing, Mervin realizes that the priceless items in his collection have little true value and begins a desperate search through the infinite cosmos to find the boy. I submitted this one to an anthology called "Through the Wormhole," which is described as "whacked out tales" from the edge of science fiction and fantasy.

So I'm waiting for a response on those stories. Certainly, not every one will make it, but I'm hopeful one or two will be accepted. That would put me right on my average acceptance rate, which is currently 28.5%.

In the last couple of weeks, I've also been working on some new projects. I've mentioned most of them during my frequent Reggie Miller Writing Continuum updates. But here's a quick roundup of my latest and greatest projects:

SimCo Technical Support (4,700 words). A bored, beleaguered tech support worker named Carl discovers a dangerous flaw in his company's new flagship series of robotic servants. As customers flood the call center with problems, Carl tries to get the attention of corporate leaders. But no one is willing to listen to his concerns until an apparent robot revolt begins to take hold in a large city.

The Memory Pools (3,000 words). On the planet Garland IV, every native must travel to the Memory Pools; it is a planetary birthright. But when Garland leaders discover the pools have unique regenerative powers that other cultures will pay any amount to possess, the world's most precious resource goes up for sale. And the cost of greed couldn't rise any higher.

And a God Could Finally Cry (1,500 words). File this one under the "Most Melodramatic Title Ever" category. One of my shorter works, this is a powerful story about an invincible superman who leaves earth after his beloved dies at the hands of his arch-nemesis. Lost and broken, he journeys toward the far reaches of the universe and ends up on a planetary paradise. There, he loses himself and starts anew...until remnants of his former life return and force him to remember his long-forgotten pain.

And the World Stopped (work in progress, word count undetermined). In a single, unexplained cataclysmic event, all superpowered heroes and villains suddenly lose their special abilities. As heroes fall from the sky and helpless villains turn themselves in to authorities, a single-minded mystery man named Night Wasp stalks the truth.

Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update

2011-02-04T02:55:00.000-05:00

I seem to be stuck on a pace of about 1,200 words, because that's what I finished with again tonight! My current work in progress is now up to about 3,300 words. I had imagined the piece going about 5,000 words, but the story is growing in scope and character, so I'm thinking this may end up being a slightly longer story.

I have a character in it now that I'm really enjoying...kind of an old-school mystery man stuck in modern times. There's no time travel involved here...it's just the vibe I'm getting from the character. And to think the character wasn't even in the original outline of the story! Sometimes these things just end up going on a path you don't expect!

Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update

2011-02-03T02:44:00.001-05:00

A truncated but productive night. I only wrote for an hour tonight, but produced more than 1,200 words for a new short story. This is another piece of superhero fic about what happens after a cataclysmic event strips all heroes of their powers.

If I weren't so tired, I think I could've approached Reggie at the Garden production, a mark I have yet to achieve in a single day. Still, fairly productive for an hour.

Latest Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update

2011-02-02T02:38:00.001-05:00

It was by no means a banner night. I survived Ice-Frost-mageddon, but only managed to pound out a shade under 900 words. Even if I counted my blog post, I'd still barely crack the 1,200 word mark. I hope tomorrow provides for more fertile writing.

Rejected!

2011-02-02T01:30:00.000-05:00

One thing every writer must learn is that rejection lurks around every corner. Even if you think you've crafted the Greatest Story Ever, odds are the person reading it will not agree. They will likely look at your story, compare it to the 3,000 others they've read that week, and then send out a nice, simple form rejection.

The same goes for query letters. Sure, your book idea is a can't-miss-blockbuster-bestseller! But thousands of other writers believe the same thing about their work and have also sent their query letter to the same agent. The form rejection becomes much easier to use when agents are buried beneath a deluge of submissions. Then again, some may not even bother to reply at all, a despicable practice that leaves writers stranded in purgatory: "Did my email get sent to their spam folder?"; "Should I query since I haven't heard back in two months?"; or "Did they simply not like it?"

Over the past eight months, I've sent out 21 separate submissions for short stories. The markets have varied from small to pro. Of these 21 submissions, six stories have been accepted. That's a batting average of .285, certainly not Cooperstown numbers, but good enough to hang around as a utility player for a while. I would love love love for my acceptance rate to be higher, but that's tough. Even the smallest publications get hundreds of submissions that vary greatly in quality...and these markets typically offer token or no compensation! When it gets to the bigger publications, competition gets even tougher.

So yeah, I've had 15 rejections and six acceptances. That's a landslide in favor of rejections.

However, let's put it this way. If I wrote a hundred different stories and failed to send out a single submission, what's my batting average then? That's a big oh-fer; a failure percentage of 100%. I'd take 28.5% success over 100% failure any day.

That's because every story you don't send is an automatic rejection.

Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update 1/31

2011-02-01T03:35:00.000-05:00

A very dense and complicated short story brings me more than 1,500 words (but just barely!). This one will be an absolute BEAST to edit!

Still, thanks to a strong third quarter, I ended up putting in an "Average Night!"

January 29th Update

2011-01-29T23:56:00.000-05:00

With a little bit of inspiration this evening, I pounded out 2,200 words of a new short story. It's a little bit shorter than many pieces of short fic I write. Typically, a story comes in around 5,000 words or so. This one is about 3,000 words in length.

Sometimes the shorter ones are harder to write because you have so much that you're trying to pack in and fewer words to say it. However, in its current form, this is a fairly complex piece from a first-person perspective. I don't think a reader would make it through 5,000 words for this one...it would be too dense.

Funny how the shorter stuff can be the most challenging! At least the word count tonight puts me firmly in the "Average Night" category!

Taco Bell marketing wrapped in tortilla of lies!

2011-01-28T03:41:00.002-05:00

Listen, Taco Bell is not fine cuisine.* You don't go there to have your taste buds stimulated by nuanced, hand-crafted fare that you can't find anywhere else. Truth be told, there's probably another Taco Bell around the corner anyway.

A lot has been made this week of a lawsuit filed against Taco Bell and its "beef." Specifically, the lawsuit claims the Bell's beefy offerings don't legally qualify as beef. The class-action suit alleges that the fast-food chain's "seasoned beef" contains only 35% meat...which falls outside the FDA's definition (the FDA says "beef" must contain at least 40% meat to be considered "beef"). The suit claims the rest of the beef-like-taco-filling substance is preservatives and filler.

(Side note: I'm more creeped out by the fact that something has to contain only 40% meat to be considered beef, but perhaps that's just me)

Taco Bell of course, is defending its product by issuing a statement and threatening a countersuit. The company says its beef, referred to in Taco Bell's inner sanctum as "taco meat filling," contains at least 88% meat. I'm sure there's a complicated formula involving a slide rule and all that.

The motive behind this tale of (obvious joke) where's the beef? The law firm suggests that the Bell does this to save money. And really, there's a good argument there. If I can sell you a taco with "35%" beef instead of one with "88%" beef, I'm saving a boatload o' cash on beef.

(Again, I long for the day when we get 100% beef, which Taco Bell says would taste just like ordinary ground beef because it'd be missing all those signature, zesty spices that bring its "taco meat filling" to less than 100% meat level!)

Saving money is the Taco Bell way. Got two bucks? Get a meal, yeah, with a side and a drink! Need a feast? Got about ten bucks or so? Buy a Taco Bell Party Pack! That's 12 crunchy shells filled with either 35% beef or 88%-beef-taco-meat filling! Taco Bell doesn't offer caviar, snooty wine, or cloth napkins. I'm not suggesting that the Bell carves up and liquefies human flesh. Of course, I also love that by saying "I'm not suggesting," I'm really saying, "I'm suggesting." But in all seriousness, this isn't Soylent Green.

The original was great...

But Phil Hartman's version was even greater! Especially the sequel: "Soylent Green is still made outta people! They didn't change the recipe like they said they were going to! It's still PEEEEEEEEOPLE!"
You have to understand the slippery slope this lawsuit has now placed Taco Bell on. First of all, you'll note the "Berry Pomegranate Fruitista Freeze" contains a whopping 1% actual pomegranate juice. Now, I'm a guy who knows his pomegranates, and I can tell you that's not a lot of juice. I think future Taco Bell menus will look something like this mock-up for their Fiesta Taco Salad:

What do all the asterisks mean?

1) Crispy Tortilla Bowl - This claim may not be verifiable. After all, no one played in a "Crispy Tortilla Bowl" in December or January. Nor did they play in the "Anne Adams Oogly-Boogly Bowl Presented by the Benjamin Harrison Home" or the "Matt Adams Manute Bol Benefiting Sudan."

2) Seasoned Ground Beef - Well, we know all about this. Should probably read "seasoned ground beef-like taco meat filling" or "kinda tacoey pseudomeat."

3) Reduced-Fat Sour Cream - It's white, doesn't really have a flavor. That's because reduced-fat is the complete opposite of "flavor-enriched." I prefer "Mexican-style Cool Whip-like cream topping."

4) Crispy Tortilla Strips - "The fried and salted remains of unleavened bread prepared from cornmeal."

5) Real Cheddar Cheese - By "real" they mean the bags they pour the stuff out of are real. Okay, I'm sure the cheese is, too.

6) Diced Ripe Tomatoes - Very ripe. Sort of diced, but really more just kind of cut. Probably sounds better than "red tomato-shape cube flavoring."

7) Hearty Beans - "Protein-enriched flavor pods in goo sauce."

8) Crisp Shredded Lettuce - "Sporadically hacked slime-greenery." The great thing is, sometimes it's crunchy, sometimes it slides right down. You never know what you're going to get!

9) Seasoned Rice - Okay, this one probably didn't need the asterisk. It's rice. It has flavoring...or seasoning if you must.

*The views of Matt Adams the author do not necessarily represent the views of Matt Adams' stomach, taste buds and their subsidiaries or representatives.

Quick update

2011-01-27T12:22:00.000-05:00

Sunday night, I was downed by a nasty norovirus, which left me feeling like Harry from "Dumb and Dumber" after Lloyd spiked his tea with TurboLax. Take that scene, multiply it by several times over the span of two-and-a-half days, and you get the idea. Sorry for the visual. Norovirus is typically something that sweeps through a cruise ship and sickens a bunch of people really quickly...how did I miss the buffet and a show?

The virus also came along with a fever, body aches, and the general feeling that if I tried to walk to the bathroom, I'd keel right over. As you can imagine, it prevented me from getting any writing done, although I did reread a couple of stories on my iPhone (thank you, Dropbox!).

I finally started to feel a little better yesterday afternoon and managed to pound out 780 words of a short story idea that's been percolating for a while. So, I managed to avoid Tayshaun Prince, but ended up cold from the field, using free throws and a few jump shots to fall well below an average night.

The NFC Title Game Postmortem

2011-01-23T23:11:00.000-05:00

What I'll be doing at work when people try to discuss the game with me.

While the game ended up being exciting, the outcome sure sucked! My thoughts after letting them marinate for a few hours:

I want Jim Cornelison to perform the anthem at my office every day before I begin work.
Bears played an absolute terrible first half. I was amazed that they were not down by more than 14.
I thought Matt Forte had a hell of a game overall. Some nice runs (averaged 4.1 YPC) and did a good job in the pass game with 10 receptions on 15 targets. 27 touches and 160 total yards is a pretty nice day at the office.
That being said, I thought the Bears should have run the ball more...only 24 attempts on the day (Forte had 17 of them).
Why are they paying Chester Taylor all of this money and refusing to give him the ball? 4 touches (3 carries and a rec) for 14 yards. I know he's the backup and all, but he is a nice change of pace guy. Loved his running to convert the first on the 4th down.
Paging Greg Olsen...
The Bears WR corps still need an upgrade. That should be priority #2 for Angelo.
Priority #1 is fixing the OL.
Aaron Rodgers did not impress me that much today overall. He's played better.
The Packer run game is still pretty bad.
At least my vaunted chicken casserole came out ok.
Todd Collins is still worthless.

Now the point comes where we talk about the Cutler situation. I, for one, believe that he was indeed too hurt to play. It may be a torn meniscus, or one of the tendons, but something is wrong with his knee far further than a bump or bruise. And I say this because I watched this guy get the sh!t beaten out of him on more than one occasion this season due to a shoddy OL, and he only sat out a game and a half. Why someone would come this far and then tap out without a good reason puzzles me. He told reporters he couldn't plant and throw. Well, if you can't plant and throw, you have no business being on the field. And look, I'm not one of Jay's biggest fans by any means, but he's still my team's QB. And when everyone from the head coach to Urlacher to Kreutz don't question how hurt he was, that's good enough for me. Apparently not good enough for a majority of the fanbase (based on what I was seeing on Twitter and Facebook), but that's their opinion.

Caleb Hanie had a hell of a game. Loved his mobility and thought he did a good job making reads and throws. He ran the hurry up very well, and it would have been a movie-quality comeback to see a third stringer with 8 career attempts come off the bench to take his team to the Super Bowl. I'd like to see him compete for the backup job next year against a veteran QB not named Todd Collins. TC can go bus tables at an IHOP in East St. Louis for all I care.

Whoever called the TO on third down at the end of the game needs to be fired. What a horrible way to break up the flow when your offense is rolling and the clock is already stopped anyways. And to add insult to injury, we then get to see a horsesh!t end around get stuffed for a loss that then leads to the clinching INT. I f*cking know that was not the play Martz was going to run originally. He's dumb, but he isn't that dumb. Or, is he?

PS - I'm real glad the Blackhawks decided to crap the bed to start my sports viewing day as well. I should have taken that as an omen.

Developing a signature style

2011-01-23T02:13:00.001-05:00

Okay, I wrote about writing tics yesterday. The post gave me a couple of ideas for some new blog content, so I thought I'd go ahead and write a follow-up.

Earlier, I wrote about my love for keycards, an inexplicable, unrequited love affair that I should not speak of anymore. Yet, I can guarantee you that keycards will continue to appear in my work...unless I can devise some sort of foot scanner (credit that idea to a dear friend of mine).

Writers have persistent themes they return to time and time again. Michael Crichton, for example, was the king of sciency-awesomeness. When you read an excerpt from a Crichton book, you know it's a Crichton book. The same thing can be said about most skilled authors. It could be a word or a phrase or a theme, but there's something recognizable about their style. The great ones are this way; their works are memorable, their turns of phrases enduring. Your more forgettable, hack writers (who's got two thumbs and is a hack writer...THIS GUY!) churn out Twinkie writing that fills you up for three seconds and then makes you want to have another. Eventually, you realize you've eaten the whole box of Twinkies and you're still hungry because the snack wasn't very fulfilling.

As I think of the different books and short stories I've worked on, I've identified a few things that help define, for better or worse, my own style.

Sports references. I'm an unabashed sports fan and I bring that to my work. You'll find many of my books have a character who follows sports. In some cases, the book may actually be about sports (Seven and 17th Parallel are both books that mix science fiction with pro sports). This fandom typically sticks pretty close to home, too. I enjoy putting in characters who are fans of the Indianapolis Colts or the Cincinnati Reds or Indiana Basketball or Notre Dame football. Let's face it, enough characters in popular culture are Yankees fans...why not add a little Midwestern sports sensibility to that? I also use a lot of sports analogies ("He drew his gun as quickly as Manning reads the defense and releases"--that's an awful piece of writing).

Midwestern sensibility. I think those of us who hail from the Midwest sometimes feel like we don't exist. News and sporting events that happen on the east and west coasts often seem to get higher priority than things that happen in the middle of Indiana or Iowa. Since many media companies are headquartered on the coasts, the Midwest often feels lost in the shuffle. "They" make fun of our Big Ten and our backward ways (you know, like saying "hello" to people). Many of my characters have a background in the Midwest or the action is set in the Midwest. I like characters I can relate to; people I'd like to go see a movie with. My work often reflects this.

Don't push your Midwestern sensibilities on me, pal.
Sense of humor. I'm not the king of the bad pun, but I'm second-in-line for the throne. I love making characters who have a sense of humor or putting characters who don't have a sense of humor in funny situations. Sarcasm runs rampant throughout my work and characters because these things make me smile (and I hope they make other people smile, too). I'm just not the brooding writer type who locks himself away for hours on end to talk about why the sun won't rise the next day (at least, not typically). If I'm going to be entertained, I'm probably going to need humor...or explosions. Sometimes both.

Absurdity. I'm not Mr. High Concept or anything like that, but I like a certain element of absurdity in my stories. This can lead to funny situations or head-scratching moments of "what the heck is going on?" Some of these situations can be downright weird (stories like "Swatch, Guardian of Time" -- in which an idiotic Time Ranger mucks up history by mistake -- and "To the Infinity Room!" -- in which a slightly unhinged man collects items from alternate realities -- come to mind). I guess I like things a little offbeat.

Absurd? Blue is absurd. The idea of turning him into glue is not.
Pop culture references. In real life, I'm a pop culture machine, a man capable of conducting conversations in nothing but MovieSpeak. I take a random moment from life and tell others how "it's like that one scene in The Naked Gun." It's annoying. My writing reflects that. In some stories, the pop culture references come at a fast and furious pace, thrown in like some poorly-produced spoof movie (you know, you throw out enough things, something's bound to stick). Maybe a particular character quotes "Star Wars" or describes the bad guy as looking "kind of like a crack-addled Billy Zane." It's a wink-wink to readers who get it and probably a little confounding to those who don't (learn the Wikipedia, my clueless friends...and the IMDB).

Sometimes I mix pop culture references AND sports.
It's science fictiony-fantastical. I do have some ideas that are a little more grounded, but most of my stories have a speculative bent. That means they're set on another planet, involve advanced technology, or include aliens. I love tropes like time travel and alternate realities (each could really have its own category in this list). Oh, and robots. Yes, give me the robots, be they simple, kind, despotic, evil, or cultured.

We need a hero. A protagonist doesn't always have to be a hero and many stories are about people who are the very definition of cowards. However, my work tends to find at least something heroic about a particular character. Whether that character is a rogue like Sheridan from Sheridan's Hammer, who decides he's had enough of a repressive government or Swatch, who tries his best but usually messes up in his Time Ranger duties, I try to find the most noble part of a character and cultivate it.

Sometimes, you just need a hero.

For some people, you have to look REALLY hard to find something heroic. And then there are lost causes.
Bureaucracies suck. From government to big businesses and even the church, bureaucracies are a part of life. Bureaucracies are evil, soulless machines composed of flesh, paperwork, and endless procedures. They do more harm than good, allow things to slip through the cracks, overlook important details in the name of productivity, and throw responsibility to the next person in the chain. They are so head-scratchingly inefficient that the only real choice is to make fun of them. Mercilessly.

No one knows the horrors of bureaucracies like this guy.
Media and Mass Communication 101. I work in TV news. I studied journalism in college. News and media are things I understand intimately and I like to use them in different capacities. Sometimes it's as simple as making an offhand reference to a TV news report; sometimes it's a story set in the world of TV news. One short story, for example, follows a live news crew forced to cover a story on a chicken wing shortage; the story soon changes to some sort of mutant invasion. In my book Seven, I employ a broadcasting team with announcers named Bob and Skip. At certain points in the book, I let them take over the play-by-play duties during game action instead of writing long, descriptive game summaries. That book also takes a good, hard look at sports media culture.

News team assemble!
Meta-fiction! I like to give readers something extra and try to think of ways to make my books stand out. One way I like to do that is to create meta-fiction. The concept isn't that hard to explain: let's say a character references a non-existent book during the course of the novel. I might add an appendix that contains an excerpt from the fake book mentioned (or that excerpt may appear in the book proper). My most complex example of this to date is I, Crimsonstreak. The book's narrative itself is on the short side...it's only about 62,000 words (and actually probably needs to be beefed up quite a bit). The work itself, however, totals 85,000 words. In addition to the main story, the novel includes "secret" hero and villain dossiers, newspaper articles of past exploits from characters, magazine feature articles, journal entries, and even a few newspaper columns the main character wrote when he was in college. Admittedly, this idea got a little out of control and required a handwritten timeline of dates and important events. I have similar ideas for other books. Seven, for example, is a baseball book. So one of these days I want to map out a schedule for the baseball team and come up with box scores for every game of the season, along with game write-ups, web copy, etc. It would also be fun to do a podcast of some of the play-by-play calls from important moments from key games. For Sheridan's Hammer, one of the central conflicts centers around two warring religions. This book includes verses from two fake holy texts. They're not fully-formed pieces of meta-fiction, but they're intended to give the universe a "real" feel.

Meta-fiction? This comic may be the king of it.
Time to play. Sometimes, writing in chronological order is a drag. It's also something that many stories require. I enjoy playing with flashbacks and framing devices; you've seen this concept a hundred times in movies and books. You know, the book starts with the character walking the plank and you flashback to how he got there until he's on the plank and the action picks up from there. For whatever reason, the movie "Maverick" immediately comes to mind, although there are plenty stories done in that style. I like to play with timelines and flashbacks, but it can be difficult work. These stories often require a detailed outline to make everything click. In some cases, using a flashback narrative structure has saved a story. One piece of short fic, "Last Stand on Cyclonus Seven," probably would've been scrapped if not for a flashback structure. I knew where I wanted the story to go, but as I wrote it chronologically, it didn't seem to work. It began to drag. So, I made that story work backward. The end comes first and the narrative travels backward between the present and what led to it. It got relatively complicated and I had to make section headings (i.e., "Ten Hours Ago"). I'm pleased with how that story turned out, but it wasn't working until I started to play with time a little bit.

I'm sure I've left out something, but these are the things that spring to mind when it comes to my "signature" writing style. Is it really different from how other writers approach their work? Not really, I'm sure. In fact, one thing about writing is that you're never as unique or creative as you think; there are plenty of people with more panache and style than me. However, to write, one must have confidence, and believing your work to have your unique voice and style is part of developing that confidence.

Writing tics

2011-01-22T17:21:00.002-05:00

Whether they want to or not, most people have nervous tics. It can be a hand brushing aside a perpetually errant curl, a scratch of the nose, a sniff between sentences. I have them; I stroke my chin when carefully considering an answer or scratch the back of my neck when nervous (this drives my wife absolutely bonkers!). Sometimes I squeeze my hands together when saying something that makes me uncomfortable.

It's human nature to have these little crutches that we've developed over the years.

Writers have them, too.

I'm not talking about aspects of my writing that are recognizable (I'm going to do a separate post on things I often find in my writing...ya know...like keycards). I'm talking about tics in my writing that are unnecessary and used as filler. They're things I don't realizing I'm doing until I take a good look at a manuscript.

My worst offenders are listed below.

In fact. I find this in a lot of stories I write. In fact, you'll see it in blog posts, too (see what I did there? Yeah, I'm rolling my eyes, too). I don't really even know what "in fact" means because I use it so casually, even in situations in which there's no actual "fact" to refer to. My book The Franchise uses the phrase only four times over its 73,000 words. A previous draft from last year included "in fact" 11 times. I can guarantee that earlier drafts used it much more often. An unrevised version of my book Seven uses "in fact" 20 times. A rough draft of Sheridan's Hammer invokes it 17 times. Sometimes, "in fact" is used in a character's dialogue. I'm more forgiving about those. I use the phrase often in description and it's a particularly weak way of writing something. I will have to be very careful in editing to remove this phrase.

Just. Ick. It's just one of those things. I employ this word much too often and I don't even realize it. I just scanned the most recent version of The Franchise; it's the draft that has the most polish. The word "just" appears more than 240 times! Again, it's probably more forgivable if a particular character uses it in dialogue. But if every character uses it...it's a writing tic. The word also appears too often in description. Sheridan's Hammer, which honestly I haven't given a second or third coat of paint to yet, uses "just" 260 times! That means there are a lot of pages where the word appears multiple times. Need to trim some fat from the manuscript? Just start with just! To put this in perspective, for the 365-page draft, I could eliminate almost an ENTIRE PAGE by taking out every instance of "just."

Almost. Not quite as prolific as the junk word "just," "almost" still appears too often. I'm using another book as a measuring stick here, but The Franchise includes "almost" 43 times. Sheridan's Hammer includes 28 uses of the word. I, Crimsonstreak has 31 instances of "almost."

There's. There's good writing and there's lazy writing. Sometimes, "there's" is the best you've got. But 98.5% of the time (yes, I've done a formal study and that's the scientific percentage), you can find a better alternative and a much more eloquent way of writing something. I, Crimsonstreak uses the phrase 99 times in its 85,000 words. Sheridan's Hammer uses it 30 times. The Franchise includes 38 uses. The higher percentage in Crimsonstreak is likely due to its first-person perspective; the writing in that book is a bit more conversational throughout the narrative. I know I can find several instances in which I can take the phrase out or use another one.

Usually. I'm pretty good at spotting this one. After going through some of my manuscripts, I don't use "usually" as often as I thought I would. It's not an infection like "just."

Pretty. I don't mean this like "the girl is pretty." I'm using this as a qualifier; "he's a pretty good guy" or "that's a pretty bad idea." I'm sure I've used it in its traditional sense in some of my writing, but it's usually used as an adverb. This one varies from work to work. I, Crimsonstreak is the worst offender; "pretty" appears in the novel approximately 70 times. Usage in my other books is about half that number.

What's the big deal about all this? Well, self-editing is difficult. I know what I've been trying to do and understand what I'm trying to say. When words are missing, my mind usually fills them in (I think I'll do a separate post this week on different approaches for proofreading via computer and hard copy). Since the words I mentioned are my own writing tics, sometimes they're hard for me to spot. That's why you need exceptionally good concentration when editing your own work. If you struggle too much with finding these things, you'd better track down an editor who can do more than simply read for content.

What about you? What writing tics infect your work?

For love or money

2011-01-21T02:49:00.004-05:00

Duotrope's Digest lists dozens upon dozens of magazines and online publications. It's one of the reasons it made the list of my favorite writing websites. It's such an exclusive list, in fact, that nobody really cares. I mean...big deal, right? I don't even have a golden seal to give to those websites. Perhaps I should design one this weekend...

Anyway, my total lifetime earnings from writing amount to...well...practically nothing from a monetary standpoint. I've placed stories in publications that don't pay or offer token compensation. "This Mutant Life," offers $8 U.S. for stories or authors can choose to take a second contributors copy of the mag (which is what I usually do). "A Thousand Faces" originally operated under a royalty-sharing plan among authors. That model has since changed and writers will get $10 for their stories.

I recently learned that one of my short stories will be published by "Wily Writers of Speculative Fiction". For the first time, a story will come with a paycheck. It's not a lot--I'll still have to save up for that Writing Yacht I've always dreamed of--but at least it's something.

Everyone has to start somewhere.
I equate the business side of writing to sports (and those who know me collectively roll their eyes, smack their foreheads, and scream, "DUH!"). Single-A ball is getting published by some of the smaller presses and publications. Sure, these may not have the "pull" of some of the larger publications that pay a lot more, but you have to start somewhere. And it's not like it's easy to place a story in these publications either. The editors receive hundreds of submissions and whittle their way down to ten or twelve stories. Just because the publication is smaller doesn't mean the standard of quality suffers. Most of these places pay either nothing or a token amount.

I'm not ashamed to admit it: I miss the Richmond Roosters.

So you made it here. You're not finished. Not even close.
Next is Double-A ball. Now, you're starting to earn some recognition and place your stories in publications that pay semi-pro rates. This still isn't a significant income (unless you've placed A TON OF STORIES AND I MEAN A TON), but at least you're getting something. We're talking in the ballpark of one cent or so a word. For a 5,000 word story, it's about 50 bucks. Consider the time spent outlining, writing, rewriting, editing, and sending off your submission...and you're certainly not making much per hour!

You're rubbing elbows with future stars and washed-up pros. Embrace the former, don't turn into the latter.
So, you place a couple stories in Double-A publications, and now you've moved up to Triple-A ball. This is where the competition is getting really tough; there are fewer Triple-A publications out there, plenty of talented writers, and larger amounts of compensation on the line. Your Triple-A publications pay pro rates...that's five cents or more per word. If you can sell a 5,000 word story, you're getting $250-$500 or so. You sell a couple of those a month consistently, and things start to add up. BUT IT'S HARD.

Even if you make it here, you'll have to produce. Or it's back to the minors, baby.
The Big Leagues? Well, this isn't a perfect analogy because I've been referring mostly to short stories in this post. But to me, the Big Leagues is getting your book published. This typically includes an advance...although first-time, untested authors shouldn't expect to earn thousands upon thousands of dollars. If your name isn't Stephen King or Dan Brown or James Patterson or Patricia Cornwell or Nora Roberts or someone people have actually heard of, that "big advance" won't be that big.

Now to completely nullify everything I've written so far. I've talked about pay scales and earning money for my work. Thing is, it'd be nice to earn a little coin from this and my ultimate goal is to be able to do that. However, and I mean this with as much conviction as I can muster on this random blog, it's not all about the money. And I don't mean this in the pro athlete-in-a-contract-dispute way.

I write because I can. I write because I feel I have a gift for it. I write because there are characters and stories I want to tell and share with others. Are they all great? No! Are some of them good? Maybe! Will anything ever become of this? I don't know! But I do know that I'm passionate about this; that it's 2:42 in the morning and I've had creative writers block but still somehow managed to muster enough energy and effort to write this blog post.

And so even though I'm not raking in the dough from all my great ideas, even though one of my stories can get a rejection faster than Peyton Manning can read the defense and find the open guy, I will continue to write. I have become fully vested in this venture because I believe I can do this. A wise man once said, "If you can dream it, you can do it" (note: that's actually a quote from the coach in "Saving Silverman," so it's probably not the best place to get inspiration). In writing career terms, I'm mired in Single-A ball and hoping to get called up to Double-A. Although if the pros call, I will pick up.

Reggie Miller Writing Continuum 1/20

2011-01-21T01:59:00.000-05:00

Creatively tapped out for the night, I can only send off a story submission and revise a work in progress.

I actually trimmed words from a story, thus making my word count a NEGATIVE word count (although the words in this blog post probably offset that).

Final tally: BLOCKED BY TAYSHAUN PRINCE. I HATE THAT GUY.

Awesome co-workers come through

2011-01-20T15:41:00.000-05:00

I have great co-workers. How do I know this? One of my buddies won a Jim Irsay contest and gave me one of the two Colts division champs hats he won. In the background, you can see my work keycard and the new Colts lanyard that another co-worker gave me (it's relevant because of this).

How awesome is that?

I love keycards

2011-01-20T02:19:00.001-05:00

Okay, I have a problem, people.

Keycards. I love 'em.

They're one of my favorite tropes in stories and I'm not exactly sure why. Seriously, as I think of the books and stories I've written, I realize I lean way too much on the venerable keycard.

During the introductory scenes of one of my books, a character expresses his love for "advanced technology." What is he doing? He's showing someone how to use a keycard!

In another book, a character has to go to a sublevel. How does she get there? You guessed it: keycard!

Yet in another book, a character (in a sublevel!) grants some visitors access to another room by swiping his keycard.

This is a sickness. Keycards aren't that exciting. I know this; I have a keycard. You know what it does? It gets me into the building where I work. That's mind-boggling in its awesomeness, isn't it?

I know I'm not the only person with an affinity for keycards; they play roles in countless movies and books. Yet I can tell you that in three of the four books I've written, there's a scene that involves a keycard. It's almost like a calling card for my work! It's completely absurd.

The keycard epidemic seems to have left my short stories alone for the most part. I can only think of a couple of stories that involve keycards. I have about 30 stories, and only three of those feature a scene with them.

Am I that uncreative that I yearn for keycards in every story?

Here are some possible explanations:

I have too many secret places: Two of my books have secret laboratories. One is a government facility, and we all know how government facilities...especially ones with secret projects...love extra security. The other is a privately-run lab. It's super-super-super secret. Security is a requirement...and how best to keep the place secure than by limiting access with KEYCARDS!!??

There's a subtext I'm hitting people over the head with: I'm giving readers access to my world in a figurative sense by allowing them to read my work. To make that more real, I create worlds in which keycards are must-have items, a "key" that grants readers entrance into my universe.

I've seen too many "secret facility" movies and have run out of good ideas of my own: This is entirely possible. I've seen a lot of spy movies. Perhaps I'm projecting those onto my work?

I think they're cool, even though they're not: Nothing is awesome with a side of awesome-sauce like a freaking keycard! How awesome is it to have a card that lets you into a place no one else can go (well, other than the 200 other people that work in the building)?

I never had a keycard as a kid: This is a possible explanation. When I was a kid, my parents let me roam freely around the house, unencumbered by the requirement of needing a keycard to get into the bathroom. Perhaps if they'd given me one back then, I wouldn't find keycards so novel?

It's Michael Crichton's fault: Sure, blame the late author of Jurassic Park. It's not like that book or The Andromeda Strain or any of his other high-tech books ever involved secret facilities and keycards.

So, I've made progress tonight. I've realized I have an addiction to keycards. Any suggestions on how to fix this?

Your Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update 1/19

2011-01-20T01:35:00.000-05:00

Barely, just barely...I managed to have an average night. I wrote a reflective piece and then worked on my killer robot invasion story. Combined, I ended up with a shade more than 1,500 words. Very close to just free throws and jumpers, but I ended up making my average.

Whew!

Your Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update

2011-01-19T02:32:00.000-05:00

I committed 1,900 words to the page tonight, falling more surely into the AVERAGE NIGHT category than a mid-range jumper from 31 himself.

I'm about finished with the story I started yesterday and think it will end up being about 5,000 words before I go back and revise.

I also sent a submission today. I actually wrote it specifically for one anthology, but was very pleased with how it turned out. I decided to send it first to a publication that pays a little bit more. If it gets accepted there, it would be awesome. If not, I'll send it to the anthology series I originally intended it for. The publication I sent it to is usually quick about rejections, so I should have plenty of time to re-send it if needed (the deadline for the anthology I intended it for is March 1st).

Latest Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Update

2011-01-18T01:47:00.001-05:00

I started a new short story tonight about a guy who works at a robot tech support company. Of course, he doesn't care about his job and something is going to go horribly wrong with one of his company's production lines! Will he care about the problem or fix it?

I don't know...but what I DO know is that I have made enough progress on the Reggie Miller writing continuum to have an AVERAGE NIGHT!

The Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award

2011-01-17T12:12:00.003-05:00

I remember the exact moment (if not the date) that put me on this path toward pursuing writing.

In late September of 2007, I read something about the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, a kind of American Idol-style writing contest. If your book wins the contest, you get an advance and a publishing contract. Before that moment, I had dabbled in writing a little bit; I had a couple of book ideas and a paltry outline or two written in a notebook. I'd completed about 40 pages or so of a book idea that had been percolating since high school. I'd worked in an extremely haphazard fashion on the book, but it wasn't fully-formed and or remotely near the zip code of "complete."

The contest started accepting submissions a week after I'd read about it. Let me put this into perspective: I had 40 pages (back then, I knew nothing about manuscript formatting or word count, so all I can go with is pages while recounting the memory) and a week to write a finished novel. At that moment, something switched on in my brain. I worked strange hours back then, overnights from 2am to 10am. So for several crazy days, I went to work, wrote for nine or ten hours when I got home, grabbed a couple hours of sleep, went to work, wrote some more, grabbed some sleep, etc. I proceeded to do this for five out of seven days (a couple of weekend days allowed me a somewhat normal schedule).

By the time I was finished, nearly feverish from a lack of sleep and creative output, my book had exploded from 40 pages to about 270. Looking back, I understand how little I knew about the writing process and the reality of what it takes to "make it." That book didn't stand a chance! It wasn't long enough, the writing was hurried and clunky, and it needed a severe rewrite and edit.

I've come to realize that the short-term glory of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award pales in comparison to the real journey every author must go through. In Star Wars terms, it's the quick and easy path (yes, I just compared a novel-writing contest to the Dark Side of the Force).

I have a great sense of pride in that book, however. Even four years later, it needs a lot of work. The prose has been sharpened, the characters are better defined and the writing isn't quite as hackneyed, but it's far from finished. I've moved onto other novels and am currently in a phase where I enjoy writing shorter pieces. I know I'll return to that first book someday and turn it into something special.

Hey...this year's Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest kicks off next week. Maybe I have time for a quick edit and polish...

Nah. I think I'll write a new one instead...

Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Status

2011-01-16T18:48:00.000-05:00

I revised and sent off a story today, but succeeded in writing a somewhat coherent blog post on writing in the horror genre that really didn't talk much about the horror genre. Thus, I give myself a technical foul, dock myself a few words, and end up getting blocked by Tayshaun Prince. There's still some Sunday left, however, and the status could change.

The horror of horror

2011-01-16T18:45:00.000-05:00

One of the most important things for writers to do is challenge themselves.

It's also one of the hardest things to do.

I know what I write; I have an idea what I excel at. I like stories with adventure and excitement; maybe a little bit of suspense. The good guy usually wins, although not in the most obvious way. Somewhere along the journey, there will be something so absurd, I'll have to laugh (and hope the reader will chuckle, too). I employ, for better or worse, a lot of pop culture references. At least one character in the story will like sports or make a sports reference (often, this will involve referring to the New England Patriots as "evil"). A character or characters will have a background in the Midwest...that's where I'm from, that's what I know.

Of course, these guidelines are not absolute. I have several stories that have none of these characteristics. It's hard to work an Indianapolis Colts reference into a story set in another galaxy, even if it's entirely possible that Peyton Manning was sent from beyond to save pro football in Indianapolis.

So, I play with these conventions and themes. I embrace them as part of my style. Writing reflects who you are and you shouldn't be afraid to inject some of that into your stories. You just have to be careful not to fall into self-parody or predictability...something I admit I fall prey to from time to time. Usually, I catch it. Usually.

I started this post off by commenting that writers need to challenge themselves. This means trying out different styles, settings, and characters. I've had limited success in the superhero genre, but I can't write those types of stories forever. I can't turn every story into a cape-and-cowl affair.

I've tried some different types of stories and narrative devices, but one I can't seem to nail is horror. It comes down to enjoyment and familiarity with the genre. When I think of horror stories, I think of tragic ghosts and vampires and serial hook-murderers and grim stories about death and killing. That's not a fair assessment of the genre, I know. I just don't enjoy reading those types of stories or watching those types of movies. I'm not the type who picks up a book or watches a movie to have his spine-tingled.

Since I have a limited background in the genre, everything seems to come out too formulaic when I attempt to write it. A "great twist" ends up being something horror readers have seen a dozen times before.

The truth is, I have no real desire to write in that genre, but if the right anthology or the right idea comes to mind, I'd consider dabbling in it. I just think I'd have to read a lot more horror stories to really "get" that particular style.

And that's really the point I'm making here. In order to write, you have to read. Otherwise, you'll just end up rehashing familiar story ideas and themes without even realizing it. And no one will want to publish your work.

Saturday's Reggie Miller Writing Continuum Status

2011-01-16T02:22:00.002-05:00

Saturday's final tally on the Reggie Miller Writing Continuum: 3,200 words and a nearly complete short story.

Sold-Out Conseco, baby!!!

Reggie Miller Writing Continuum

2011-01-16T00:18:00.001-05:00

Last weekend, I compared my writing process to Reggie Miller, specifically his reputation as a dead-eye streak shooter. This weekend, I'm taking it a step further.

Below you'll find the "Reggie Miller Writing Continuum," an informal tool that I will begin using to measure my writing progress. It may refer to a daily number of words I'm writing or it may refer to the progress I'm making on a short story. Basically, it's a stupid idea and it makes me laugh.

Here's the quick rundown:

1. Blocked (0-500 words)

2. Free Throws & Jumpers (501-1,500 words)

3. Average Night (1,501-3,000 words)

4. Sold-Out Conseco (3,001-5,000 words)

5. Reggie at the Garden (5,001-6,000+ words)

O Cinematic Quandary

2011-01-14T12:39:00.002-05:00

My wife is off tomorrow on a rare Saturday...she usually works on the weekends. So we decided we wanted to do something. We had planned to go see the Titanic exhibit at the Indiana State Museum, but the exhibit appears to be sold out.

So we're going to go with plan B and go see a movie. My wife went through the options this morning and two choices became readily apparent: The King's Speech and Season of the Witch.

My wife and I both got a chuckle out of that this morning; it's hard to think of movies that could be as diametrically opposed as these two. The King's Speech is an Oscar contender that's getting great buzz for Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush. The other is a Nicolas Cage-fueled schlock fest.

Of course, Cage did win that one Oscar that one time. I certainly don't hate Nicolas Cage movies...it's just on the continuum of perceived "good taste" (The King's Speech) and "you'd be better off burning your money" (Season of the Witch), we really couldn't have come up with such divergent choices if we'd actually tried.

So again, the decision is this: The King's Speech, a smaller, intimate movie about the relationship between a king with a stutter and the tutor brought in to help him in a time of national crisis:

OR...

A movie starring Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman that will undoubtedly have some preposterous ending that includes a fistfight between Nicolas Cage and a demonically-possessed woodland creature. Or maybe there's a witch involved:

Lest I need consider this decision any more, I submit to you the following criteria from the Cage classic The Wicker Man.

Exhibit A: "Not the bees! Not the bees! Ouch! MY EYES! MY EEEEEEEYES!"

Exhibit B: Nicolas Cage punches a woman. He's wearing a bear suit.

It really isn't much of a decision at all, is it?

How Juggling Multiple Projects Feels Like Return of the Jedi

2011-01-13T01:53:00.002-05:00

I don't know about other writers, but I tend to stick to one project at a time, see it to completion, and then move onto my next endeavor.

This isn't a firm rule. Sometimes, I'll write an outline for a project while I'm technically all-in writing another one. It happened a couple of weeks ago, when I saw three different short story anthologies that I wanted to submit a story to. My brain just started firing off ideas, and as soon as one came, the next one followed, and I wanted to write them all at the same time.

This is not possible.

It needs to be one thing at a time...or does it?

Everyone has a different writing process with varying quirks, rhythms, and paces. I get so zoned in on something that I focus entirely on that one thing...until another great story idea comes into mind. The process bears a striking similarity to a scene from Return of the Jedi. It's still my favorite of the Star Wars movies (I know, I know...I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out "you've lost all credibility" and were suddenly silenced).

The scene at the Sarlacc Pit has entirely too much going on. Allow me to draw some parallels.

ROTJ goal: Escape from Jabba's sailbarge with everyone intact.

My goal: Write a story.

ROTJ status: Oh crap, there's a gunner!

My status: Wait, there's another great anthology series looking for stories with talking penguins! I have a story idea that involves a talking penguin!

ROTJ status: Lando's overboard! Maybe we'd better save him...

My status: Hey, this anthology magazine needs stories about vigilantes. I'm a superhero guy...I have tons of stories about vigilantes. I should send it right now!

ROTJ status: Now Boba Fett's coming!

My status: No, no. Forget about the vigilante thing. I need to focus. I need to stop thinking about these other stories. I have to finish what I started!

ROTJ status: More bad buys arrive!

My status: Aw, you're killing me, Duotrope's Digest. You want a story about mutant chickens!? I love mutant chickens...

ROTJ status: Han takes care of Fett, you know, "the galaxy's most feared bounty hunter." Geez!

My status: That was surprisingly easy.

ROTJ status: Leia chokes Jabba!

My status: Wait. Am I writing about mutant chickens, talking penguins, or vigilantes? Maybe I should fold all three into the story I'm working on RIGHT NOW.

ROTJ status: The Sarlacc has Lando!

My status: The vigilante story. That's what I should work on.

ROTJ status: Salacious Crumb is eating Threepio's eye!

My status: Somehow, this will all coalesce...

ROTJ status: And everyone gets home safely!

My status: Hey, I have four finished stories. Heck yeah! Where am I?

Office Work, Outta Sight

2011-01-12T12:25:00.000-05:00

So you want to be a writer?

You have grand visions of unleashing your heartfelt creations and witty, finely-crafted prose onto an unsuspecting public that will shower you with praise and demand more, more, more!

Right?

It's okay; you can admit it. I used to think the same way, too. I thought my ingenuity would be glaringly apparent to any publisher or literary agent who had the privilege of reading something I decided to send to them.

Of course, a funny thing happened on the way to writing immortality.

Rejection.

It seemed agents and editors did not recognize the finely-tuned literary pedigree I didn't have. They didn't want my book; didn't want the query letter I took five minutes to write. They didn't want to publish the short story with the "you'll never see it coming!" twist that I found so clever and fresh because they'd seen it before.

The point that I'm backing into here is that publishing is a business. I am far from a successful author; so far away, in fact, that I have a hard time even referring to myself as a writer. I've had a few short stories published in a niche genre (superhero fiction) in publications that are so obscure, they may not even be the first search result that pops up in Google (but I've got nothing but love for "A Thousand Faces" and "This Mutant Life"). I haven't had a single book published, although a literary agent did request one of my manuscripts (before soundly rejecting it, of course).

Yet, as I begin to build my Flagging Writing Empire, I've realized something: there's more to writing than just writing. And there's more to writing than just creative writing. Like poor Milton pictured way above this paragraph, you've gotta do some office work.

I'm not the most organized person in the world; just ask my wife. I tend to file things away in a spatial manner; certain bills go on certain stacks on the kitchen table where they'll sit until I take care of them. I have no file box or organizational structure in place. If my wife allowed it, the room where I write would be filled with book and story manuscripts.

If my wife didn't get on me, scenes like this would litter the house.
But if you want to write, you'll need to get organized. You'll have to do some extra legwork beyond just sitting in front of your computer or grabbing a notebook and writing. Even I, the man who never met an organizational principle he actually liked, have had to learn this. The things I've done are simple and range from time-consuming to "it takes 30 seconds."

Here are a few things I've learned:

Email address committed specifically to writing endeavors. No one in their right mind wants to deal with someone who sends emails from an address like loverboyheartcandyprincessunicornrainbow22111@bestemailever.com. I suggest registering for a Yahoo or Gmail account that uses your name and is separate from the email address you use for friends. This does a couple of things: first, it removes any hint of a silly email address that may be frowned upon by an editor or publisher; second, it proves that you are taking a business-like approach to your writing career by virtue of a simple email registration; third, it forces you to do nothing but correspond in "author terms" when you log into that email account (for example, there are no Facebook notifications to see, no contests you've registered for, no Amazon.com sale emails to browse through in that email account).

Research, research, research! This is probably the biggest downer of them all. Writing already involves plenty of research to make the worlds you create feel real and "lived in." But the kind of research I'm talking about here has more to do with looking up editors and agents who are a good fit for your work. I, for instance, wouldn't want to send my work to someone who specializes in non-fiction crime books. I write fiction; not only is there little chance of that editor/agent accepting my work, it'll make me look stupid. I have to find places that provide the best fit for my work; even then, it's an uphill battle to get published.

More research, research, research! Even after you've found publications or agents that fit with your work, you're not finished yet. If you have any hope of submitting, you'll have to sort through dozens of different submission processes. Some agents want only a query letter, some want a query letter, a synopsis, and the first five pages of your manuscript. Others want the query and the first 50 pages of the book. One agent wants the synopsis and manuscript pasted into the body of your email; the other says it's okay to send those as attachments. Some agencies have on-line forms where you enter the information and then send it off.

In the world of short story submissions, things are fairly standard. However, you'll still find plenty of variations. Many publications want you to use a specific font; others demand that you single space. One place wants you to send your file in Rich Text Format (.rft), while another wants only Microsoft Word (.doc, but NOT .docx). In addition, some publications use an on-line submission form. Even those vary; one website may have you upload your .doc or .rtf file into their system while another wants you to copy and paste the entire story into a text box!

There are many different variations regarding the submission process; learning and following them will make you look professional and prevent your submission from getting deleted unread for failing to follow the guidelines. It will not, however, guarantee a successful submission, since that's purely subjective.

Learn about the writing process from other authors and agents. Late last night (or early this morning...you decide) I posted links to my favorite writing websites. There are an infinite number of these types of websites, and the links I listed are nothing more than a starting point. However, you can learn a great deal about the publishing process by visiting these sites, even if you do nothing more than simply look at some of the "essentials" sections provided by those who run them. I know it's not that much fun to go through and read, read, read...but if you have any hope of being successful, you'll devote some time to doing just that.

The spreadsheet is your friend. When I first started submitting work, I kept notes in my trusty notebook that listed the publication, the novel/story, the date I submitted, and the eventual response. It involved sending out the email, jotting down the notes on paper, and then putting the notebook away. It wasn't a bad process; it was actually fairly well organized (especially for me!). But as I began sending out more and more submissions, I began losing track. The solution: Microsoft Excel. I have two basic spreadsheets that I use: one for agents and my novels; the other for short story submissions. Each time I send something out, I open Excel and quickly fill in the pertinent information. This helps me avoid the embarrassment of sending the same submission to the same publication or agent. It also helps me see what projects I'm waiting on a response for.

I realize none of these concepts are earth-shattering. However, writers can be a scatter-brained, finicky lot resistant to organization and structure outside of the worlds they create. But there's more to writing than just putting your ideas down on the page and hoping someone wants to read them. In order to make sure others travel to the places you create and spend time with the characters you've crafted, you have to get your work out there. And, yes, that involves office work, whether you like it or not.

What about you? Are there any strategies you use to help stay organized? How frustrating do you find the "office work" side of writing?

My favorite writing websites

2011-01-12T02:24:00.003-05:00

There are a ton...a TON of great websites available for anyone interested in writing. I visit several different sites each week to learn about publishing, craft, trends, and much more.

Some of my favorites are listed below; just be aware that there are many, many, many more websites to explore (in fact, Writer's Digest lists 101 great sites annually!).

There Are No Rules: There are few people with a better understanding of the publishing industry than Jane Friedman. She's on the cutting edge of everything--social media, e-publishing--and has strong ideas on how authors and publishers can promote their work. On her blog through Writer's Digest, you'll find a treasure trove of information. And her "Best Tweets for Writers" wrap-up at the end of the week is invaluable. Find her on Facebook immediately! Oh...oh...she's a native Hoosier!

Nathan Bransford's Blog: Mr. Bransford is a former literary agent who is now "a publishing civilian working in the tech industry." His book Jacob Wonderbar and the Cosmic Space Kapow is due out very soon. Having worked as an agent, Mr. Bransford has an incredible amount of insight into the industry. When I read his posts, I usually walk away with a smile. His advice on query letters is especially helpful.

The Query Shark is not for the faint of heart; only the bravest (or dullest) writers should even consider wading into the choppy waters. The Shark will quickly turn any query letter into chum. The process is merciless and matter-of-fact. Criticism is always valid and never too mean-spirited. But even if you don't submit a letter for the shark to chew to pieces, simply going through the archives and seeing past query letters proves invaluable.

Duotrope's Digest: This is a fantastic resource, especially for short story writers. The updated, searchable database allows you to look for publications that fit your particular story genre. Do you have a crime fiction novella? You can search for publications that are looking for/accepting that very thing! The site also tracks publications' response times and acceptance so you have an idea what to expect.

Superheronation.com: This site is targeted with laser-like focus on fans of comic books and superheroes. The person who runs the site is a former editorial assistant who likes to engage those who comment and participate. He'll also gladly open a review forum for any writers who would like to get feedback on their work. I emailed him a few chapters of one of my books and got some excellent feedback. The best thing about the site, though, is that it's packed with information that applies to any type of writing. You'll find priceless advice on queries, story synopses, coming up with titles, and avoiding the pitfalls of first-time writers. A truly great resource.

AgentQuery.com: If you have a finished novel...and ONLY if you have a finished novel...AND you've revised it...AND you've had it critiqued...THEN it's time to find an agent. Agency Query includes a database that allows you to search for representation by genre. So, if you're a science fiction writer, you can find agents who rep that genre. Combine the agent information with some Google sleuthing, and you should be able to assemble a good query letter.

Midwest Writers Workshop: If you live in Indiana and you like to write, there's no excuse for skipping the Midwest Writers Workshop. The event includes authors, agents, publishers, and other would-be authors hoping to perfect their craft. You can get a manuscript makeover, attend an intensive session, and much, much more. A truly invaluable experience.

Marcus Sakey: Mr. Sakey is a crime fiction writer. I once encountered him in the restroom at the Midwest Writers Workshop and tried not to turn it into an awkward moment. Anyway, he has some tremendously helpful advice on his website.

What about you? What are your favorite writing sites?

Writing Distractions

2011-01-11T10:52:00.001-05:00

All writers have their quirks...it's why they write. Somewhere, something deep down compels them to share the uncharted, dark recesses of their minds with others. Their thoughts on life, morality, politics, religion, and other concepts come to life through their characterizations, plots, and themes.

As far as quirks go, I have plenty of them. I wrote over the weekend about how my writing process is like Reggie Miller. I would certainly think that someone who compares his or her writing process to a former NBA superstar definitely has quirks.

Perhaps one of the hardest things for writers to overcome is distractions. They come at you from everywhere--YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, TV, sports, outside sounds and noises. Eliminating these distractions can be a challenge.

Some writers like to write to music; I thrive on complete and utter silence. For the most part, I can't stand to have any background noise when I'm working on a story. If I'm working on a short story or novel, I need silence. I need to be alone.

Like all great rules, there are some exceptions. For example, as I'm writing this, my wife is watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" in the other room. That show is Kryptonite for my writing process. It's not a bad show--Buffy has legions upon legions of devoted fans--but I don't watch it. It's not Kryptonite because I'm so enamored with the show that I can't tear my eyes away from it; it's Kryptonite because it is a distraction. And it doesn't have to be Buffy on the TV in the other room...it can be any other TV program.

The "silence" rule applies to my creative writing. When I'm writing a blog post like I am right now, I can work with the sound distraction in the background. For some reason, the part of my brain that conjures characters and stories requires silence to be at its most fertile. No matter how hard I try, I can't block out the noise when I'm revising a story or writing it.

When I do try to block out the sound, I'll throw on some earphones and listen to music. However, the music can't have any lyrics. My best defense against outside distractions is symphonic/orchestral music, and even then, it's only partially effective.

I am at my most productive when I'm alone, which means I write a lot when I come home from work (I work second shift and get home around 11:30 every night). My wife also works on the weekends and that's another productive time for me (especially once college and pro football are over).

What about you? Do you have any writing quirks/distractions that interfere with your best work? How do you conquer them?

First draft complete!

2011-01-10T13:09:00.000-05:00

I woke up early enough this morning to finish the first draft of a short story that's been percolating in my mind for a little while.

It's called "To the Infinity Room" and tells the story of Melvin Garth, a man obsessed with collecting trophies and trinkets from infinite realities of the multi-verse. Along with his "sweet but somewhat dim-witted" assistant Nathaniel, Melvin spends most of his days polishing, dusting, and alphabetizing his growing collection of historical pieces, alternate-reality sports memorabilia, and antiques.

Of course, young Nathaniel decides to try his hand at traveling with a device called "The Infinity Room," and Melvin rushes to retrieve a precious piece of his collection that he fears is lost forever in the infinite cosmos.

As with many of my works, it has a few pop culture references. I'm very pleased with how the first draft came out. Now I'll have to get out the trusty editing pen and start slashing/adding/refining!

On outlines and ideas

2011-01-09T00:50:00.001-05:00

I'm especially productive today, despite the Colts game. This is my fourth significant blog update of the day (although by the time this is actually finished and posted, it will probably be Sunday and not Saturday). My previous posts have ranged from why my writing process is like Reggie Miller, ideas for covers for a couple of books I'm working on that will never see the light of day, and my thoughts on the Colts in the playoffs (turns out the second list is more on-target, unfortunately).

I've tweeted a little too much today and I also spent some time sending out query letters to literary agents. I really intended to do some creative writing today, but I also felt the urge to do some querying. Since it's something I don't particularly enjoy, I thought I'd better do it while I felt like it. Writing a query letter is basically office work. You pick your agent, tailor your letter to them, quadruple-check their submission guidelines, and allow your mouse to hover over the "send" button for a full minute before you actually click it. I think I sent out four of them today.

So that's my day so far. It had been a good day, until the Colts' special teams collapsed. There's nothing worse than losing a game you should've won.

Sigh.

Anyway, the purpose of this blog post...and yes, I realize I'm burying the lead here...is to share my thoughts on how I organize my writing. As I mentioned earlier today, my writing process can be sporadic. The organization of my writing, however, often works differently. A story idea starts in my head, either inspired by something I've read or seen. Sometimes, I see a call for submissions to an open anthology series and think, "Hey, I can come up with something for that!"

The next step is to bring out a spiral-bound notebook. Typing is great and I can brainstorm ideas with the best of them while behind the keyboard, but there's something magical about putting a pen to paper. A blank page on a computer screen seems daunting, cold, and antiseptic; the cursor a constant, flashing reminder that you must do something right now. The cursor is flickering in constant, undead motion...a metronome for literary input.

Then there's the notebook page. Its white pages are unassuming pools of endless possibilities, its blue, college-rule lines practically smile at you as you bring a ballpoint pen into place. Instead of the perfectly straight, identical letters that you type on the screen, your handwriting reflects your personality in misshapen letters that provide a glimpse into your writing soul. Maybe your writing has a slant, maybe you print, maybe you write in all caps. You put hearts above your "i's," you cross your "t's" with graceful, wavy lines. Your "l's" are fat, your cursive "s's" have a crisp point at their apex.

Everything seems wide open on notebook paper.

A few months ago, I had an idea for a superhero anthology. You see, I like superheroes. I'm not an avid comic book reader, but I'm very fond of comic book movies and cartoons. So I had the idea that I would put together a series of unrelated superhero stories, just for the fun of it. After the idea came into my head, I grabbed my trusty notebook, lay in bed, and quickly churned out 20 different ideas for stories. Of those 20 ideas, ten of them have been turned into short stories.

One of these ideas spawned a story simply titled "The Journalist."

Here's the original note (I would scan the notebook page, but I'm lazy and will transcribe instead):

Journalist follows hero and tries to deduce secret identity -- unique style, research and backstory -- can't be done from scratch

Honestly, there's not really much there other than a concept. The story would be about a newspaper or TV reporter who is obsessed with finding out the secret identity of a superhero. The note on "unique style" probably isn't really that unique. It simply meant at the time that I wanted to use a framing/flashback structure to tell the story.

"Can't be done from scratch" means that sitting down in front of the keyboard and pounding the story out simply wouldn't work in this case. I wanted the story to have an authentic feel; I wanted the journalist in the story to follow a trail of evidence over a period of several months as he tried to piece together the secret identity of a superhero. He would have to go through records, conduct interviews, connect the dots, and maybe even follow a money trail. To get all the pieces to fit together, I had to know what those pieces were in advance.

So, while I sometimes can just sit in front of the keyboard and let a story flow through me once I write down a story idea, in this case I needed an outline. I needed to know what happened, when it happened, and in what order it happened. Looking at it now, the outline for the story isn't that long, just two handwritten pages with notes about the story structure and the key events that the journalist finds to build his case.

The story begins in a bar, where the reporter, Freddy, confronts rich, powerful socialite Meg MacGuire, who is more or less a female riff on Tony Stark. That's the frame for the story. From there, we go into flashbacks of Freddy's research and then return to the bar for interstitial sections where Freddy begins to press Meg about information he's learned about her.

It looks something like this:

BAR CONFRONTATION/Freddy presses Meg

RESEARCH PHASE/Six months before/Freddy's first hint

BAR CONFRONTATION/Freddy asks Meg why she's a superhero

RESEARCH PHASE/Five months before/Freddy's research goes nowhere

The story bounces back and forth between the evening of their confrontation (when Freddy is revealing to Meg that he knows about her secret life as a hero) and the steps leading up to that confrontation (Freddy's mounting research).

The funny thing is that the outline contains no names and few specifics about the characters, just concepts and a few beats about each character. The reporter, of course, is hard-driving, obsessive, and determined to prove himself right. The socialite/hero is dismissive, evasive, and then eventually amused by Freddy's theory. The outline also includes a concept for the story's resolution. Also, as I look back on the outline, I realize that I didn't use everything in it! Even as a more specific road map for the story, it's still just a guideline.

Some authors are obsessive outliners; they'll type out detailed, multi-page outlines with every event, scene, and story beat included. They'll have pages and pages of notes and detailed biographies about their characters. And, as the work gets longer--say, a novel instead of a short story--the notes and outlines become more and more involved. It's a great way to keep things straight when you're juggling so much information.

For my longer works, and I'm referring really to my novels, I have pages and pages of detailed notes and character bios. One of my books includes several thousand words of meta-fiction (newspaper articles set in the universe, character biographies, character journals, magazine features, etc.) that had to be exhaustively organized by date. All of that information is in my trusty notebook with calendar days and dates, birthdays, anniversaries, and the like. Another book includes a couple of alien religions, so I have notes on basic tenets and principles of those religions, how they differ, important "historic" events and how each religion views them, and even a few selected "verses" from their holy books.

Those things are in addition to the actual outline of the books and their respective plots.

Again, I like to write all of these things by hand; it just seems to flow better. If I try to do it by computer, I feel like I'm doing a research paper for college. Plus, I'd rather flip through my notebook looking for my notes than have 18 different windows open on my computer screen...although I'll tell you, a good piece of software with timeline-mapping capabilities (and I'm sure something like that exists) would come in handy sometimes.

I'll make one more point about outlines and then I'll finish up. As I mentioned while talking about my outline for the short story "The Journalist," an outline is a road map; not everything in it will make it to the finished product. That's where the flow of writing comes in. While I'm writing the story, other ideas will spring to mind; maybe some characters become unnecessary to the plot and are transformed into composites or eliminated entirely; maybe it makes more sense for another character to perform a certain action. The outline is a plan...and like all plans, it needs to be adaptable to fit the field conditions. Don't get so obsessed with sticking to your outline that your writing suffers.

Let the map start you on your journey, but don't be alarmed if you miss an exit along the way. Eventually, you'll get there.

Seeing it Both Ways

2011-01-08T18:14:00.004-05:00

The Colts play the New York Jets today in what will either be the start of a great playoff run or the coda to an atypical Colts season. It could go either way...and here's why.

Ten Reasons the Colts Are Super Bowl Bound

1. They're peaking at the right time: The Colts were mired in a mid-season slump that saw them fall to 6-6. They had to win out to make it into the playoffs and emerged as champions of a weak division. However, the way they won their final games was impressive, keyed by a tough running game, hard-nosed defense, and sharp execution.

2. Peyton Manning is postseason tested: Manning doesn't boast the world's best playoff record. However, he's led the Colts to three AFC Championship Games and two Super Bowls. The monkey is off his back in terms of postseason football; he's won the big one. He's the most well-prepared and experienced quarterback in football. Period.

3. Offensive line cohesion: This offensive line couldn't run block or pass protect for most of the season. Even though Peyton was sacked a relatively low number of times, pressure was in his face for most of the season. In the past few weeks, however, the line has played much better. I almost called them "road graders" a few weeks ago, and then thought better of it.

4. Looks like Clark, plays like Clark: Jacob Tamme isn't Dallas Clark, okay? But go watch some of the past games this season and squint. For a brief second, you'll see Dallas Clark making the play or running downfield. Sometimes, Tamme's body language is eerily similar. He's not Dallas Clark, but he's the next best thing available for Indy right now...a speedy, nightmare match-up capable of breaking the big play.

5. They're not scared of New England: You may be able to say this about any NFL team, however you'd be wrong. The rest of the league is scared and intimidated by the Unstoppable Patriots Machine. The Colts are not. They've beaten New England at home and on the road; they've also lost to the Patriots in both situations. These teams know each other like the back of their hands...and the Colts aren't scared one bit. Manning threw three stinking interceptions against them and still almost won the freaking game. Imagine what would happen if the Colts played them and DIDN'T dig a giant hole for themselves.

6. Gary Brackett's "dirty" reputation: After getting a third fine for an illegal hit, Gary Brackett is going to be ticked off. And he's also playing just about as well as I've seen him play. That guy has been all over the field in the last few weeks...and no one is keeping him out of the backfield.

7. Youthful enthusiasm: Over the last couple of seasons, there has been this perception that the Colts are an aging starlet desperately clinging to the last burning embers of their glory days. But changes have come quickly and decisively, and a new cast of young Colts--Tamme, Jacob Lacey, Pierre Garcon, Pat Angerer--is leading the way. They're making key contributions for a team that needed a shot in the arm.

8. Rhodes rides again: Dominic Rhodes has been so good in the last few weeks, even Manning wondered aloud why the team ever got rid of him. Dom and Joe Addai were a great veteran-rookie-one-two punch in 2006. Rhodes' return in 2008 was unspectacular, but this year he's rejuvenated, bringing some much-needed toughness to the running game and the team in general.

9. Echoes of the past: The Colts are a three seed, just like they were when they won the Super Bowl. They stumbled at times during the regular season, just like they did when they won the Super Bowl. They'll have to win a road game against a run-oriented, defense-first team from the AFC North, just like they did when they won the Super Bowl.

10. Veteran presence: With guys like Manning, Reggie Wayne, Jeff Saturday, Antoine Bethea, Brackett, Ryan Diem, Addai, Dwight Freeney, Robert Mathis, and Rhodes on the roster, the Colts are well-stocked with smart, consistent, and talented players who've been there before. They've played on the biggest stage and won; they've played on national TV and won; they've done it on the road with defense and mistake-free football.

Ten Reasons the Colts Are Finished

1. The injury bug: Even with the league's best QB, the Colts are simply missing too many key parts. We all know about Dallas Clark and Austin Collie, but what about Clint Session, Jerraud Powers, Melvin Bullitt, Jamie Silva, and Kelvin Hayden? They're not healthy on either side of the ball, and when it's crunch time, do you really trust Blair White or Justin Tryon?

2. Tall order: If the playoffs shake out as expected, the Colts will have to win road games at Pittsburgh and New England. Not only would they have to go through the conference's top two seeds, they would have to do it outdoors in weather that neutralizes their speed advantage.

3. Leaky secondary: Mediocre passers like David Garrard, Jason Campbell, and Kerry Collins lit up the Colts secondary during the last part of the season. While the D was great against the run, no one will hesitate to attack guys like Aaron Francisco, Justin Tryon, Mike Richardson, Mike Newton, and Cornelius Brown. There's a lot of pressure on these guys, especially if teams max-protect to keep Freeney and Mathis from going wild.

3a. Special concern: This is related to a couple of other points I've already made, but injuries have taken their toll on the team and a lot of players are either new or taking on expanded roles. Kickoff and punt coverage has been pretty shaky in this latter part of the season.

4. Protecting Peyton: The offensive line experienced a series of constant shakeups this season and pass protection has been spotty. Manning has been knocked around more than I've ever seen him get knocked around. It's accelerated the clock in his head, led to misreads, and resulted in poor throws and turnovers.

5. Sluggish start: Manning isn't the same quarterback in the playoffs...and this season, the Colts have had a tendency to get off to sluggish starts. That's a deadly trait to have in the playoffs, when the pressure jumps and players tighten up when things go south.

6. The Patriots are unbeatable: Sure, they lost to the Cleveland Browns, but the Pats have been winning in dominating fashion since Thanksgiving. They're playing their best football of the year at the most important time of the year. They're leading the league with a +28 in turnover ratio. Check out their domination since de-clawing the Lions:

@ Lions 45-24 W
vs Jets 45-3 W
@ Bears 36-7 W
vs Packers 31-27 W
@ Bills 34-3 W
vs Dolphins 38-7 W

7. The Jets are hungry: The Jets excited the NFL with an unexpected run to the AFC Championship Game last year, but it felt to many like they had a little too much success, too early. This is their year, with a more experienced Mark Sanchez, a great complement to Darrelle Revis in Antonio Cromartie, a rejuvenated LaDainian Tomlinson, a healthy Shonn Greene, and a great addition to the offense in Santonio Holmes.

8. They lucked into a division championship: The AFC South was supposed to be the most competitive division in football, with the Colts, Houston Texans, Tennessee Titans, and Jacksonville Jaguars all bludgeoning one another into oblivion. It kind of happened that way, but all teams lost games they should've won, the Titans' Vince Young finally went batty, the Texans taught a predictable course in self-destruction, and the Jaguars used a befuddling timeout by Jim Caldwell to kick their way into the division lead. While the Colts took control late in the season, the Jaguars simply weren't up to the task, and the Texans and Titans were playoff non-factors.

9. Evil Peyton: For an amazing span of three games, Manning was his own worst enemy, throwing 11 interceptions against the Patriots, Chargers, and Cowboys. Four of those interceptions were returned for touchdowns. If Evil Peyton returns for any span in the playoffs, the Colts are done.

10. Turnovers: The Colts are -4 on the season in terms of turnover ratio, a far cry from +2 last year, +9 in 2008, +18 in 2007, and +7 in 2006. Their defense can't force key turnovers like they have in past seasons, and their offense makes too many mistakes.

Cover to Cover

2011-01-08T12:54:00.001-05:00

I learned a lot during my time at the Midwest Writers Workshop this summer. But one of the most interesting stories came from author John Gilstrap (his website here). His first book, Nathan's Run, ended up being a big seller. But his original title for the book was Nathan! with an exclamation mark. I didn't add the exclamation point for emphasis...Gilstrap revealed that he actually wanted it there. But the powers-that-be didn't think that was such a good idea and thus, the title became Nathan's Run. Probably a good idea for all. He also mentioned that the title of his current book, Hostage Zero, has practically nothing to do with the actual plot.

So, um, yeah.

And then there's Marcus Sakey (his website here), a successful author of crime fiction. Sakey talked about book covers and how authors have no control over them. You may have a great idea for a book cover, but there's about 1% chance that the publisher will come up with anything remotely resembling what you had in mind. He says it will be something completely different...and don't expect the art to have much to do with what your book is actually about.

I bet many writers will find those bits of information disillusioning. After all, you've given birth to characters and new worlds. You've created these plots and people from NOTHING, pouring all your heart and effort and soul into them. You feel that no one has ownership over these things except for you.

But do you want anyone to actually read your work? Would you like to maybe make some money off it? You can self-publish...a practice becoming more and more acceptable...but there exists a stigma that self-pubbed work is of lesser quality because there's no gatekeeper (i.e., a publishing house) involved. I could literally write 70,000 words of ampersands and percentage signs, slap a cover on it, and put it up for sale. There's no control there. So if you want your stuff to get read, your best chance to reach wide audiences is to have a publisher do your book for you.

That means getting an agent; that means signing over the rights to your work to someone else. And so that's why things like Nathan! never make it out in the marketplace.

Of course, publishing is changing greatly and mightily...and those publishing houses are losing some of the control they worked so hard to get. But if you want your books in the major bookstores (as long as they exist, of course, and that may not be as long as you think according to this article), the big publishers are the way to go.

So, goodbye clever, blood-sweat-and-tears title. Goodbye, killer-concept-for-my-cover-that-will-sell-a-million-books.

I've written before of crappy Photoshopping. It's one of my favorite blog labels for any post that involves something I've cobbled together using photo-editing software. In my wild, younger days of new authorship, I dreamed of seeing the cover I designed on bookshelves. So I produced different versions of covers for my books, most notably I, Crimsonstreak and The Franchise. Since the world isn't likely to see these covers in reality...when my books hit big, they'll have a professional artist do something masterful that relates in no way to the plot...I thought I'd share some of my concepts with you.

Let's start with I, Crimsonstreak. The book is a first-person account of a super-fast hero whose father takes over the world. How do you know it's a first-person account? Look at the title, silly! It's I, Crimsonstreak!. Get it? Get it?

Anyway, the story involves a new, evil empire called the "New World Common Wealth" and the main character's efforts to set the world right. It just so happens that Crimsonstreak's father--a reformed supervillain--has taken over most of the earth while playing his own demented game of Risk. The hero wears red, which I guess is a nod to the Flash.

I made these cover concepts three or four years ago. The first one is the first design I came up with and I'm rather fond of it. The stick figure (thank you, clip art!) represents Crimsonstreak, the red lines are the red blur you see when he runs, and the circle in the bottom-right is the earth as represented by a logo for the New World Common Wealth (with the "W" doubling as both "World" and "Wealth" in the symbol). There's kind of an eclipse thing going on with the logo, too.

The next two designs are just variations on that same concept, minus the NWCW logo. I probably like the one with the box better.

This design is a departure from the others. It drops the "I" from the title and simply makes it a lightning-infused "Crimsonstreak" that could be one or two words. The red streaks return, but the stick figure is replaced with a man running (apparently, his legs are on fire).

Another book I designed covers for is called The Franchise. It's about a company called OMNI Corporation, which is kind of Triple-A for city-scale emergencies. The book is set in the mid-60s in an alternate U.S. and follows the adventures of a nationwide chain of hero-for-hire businesses. In the story, a workplace accidents sign has a few mentions, and it's a nice little detail that I thought would make for an interesting cover. OMNI franchise buildings have yellow-brick exteriors, so that's where the yellow coloring comes from. The point of the sign is that workplace accidents are few and far between...but the "last week" is supposed to be somewhat ominous.

The original concept includes the work sign and a woman's silhouette representing the main heroine of the novel. I'm not much of an artist, so I searched for some pictures and found forms that I turned into silhouettes. Actually, each shadow is a different take on Wonder Woman (thanks, Google images). The first attempt is just okay, in my opinion.

The second one is just a variation. That's seriously a silhouette of Linda Carter in her iconic Wonder Woman pose from the TV series. I think she looks too small and am bugged by the fact her shadow covers the author's name. It's not an ego thing...in all the other versions, the shadows do not cover the author's name.

I like the third version a lot. The silhouette seems to be well-proportioned and I like the pose. I believe I used a Wonder Woman pic from the Justice League animated series for that one.

This fourth version has a couple of subtle changes. I dropped "by" from the author byline...go check out book covers and see how often "by author" appears. I think it looks better without it. The main character has a superpower: the ability to manipulate fire. I airbrushed a little flame coming from her hand...a touch I like.

The fifth version of the cover drops the main character's shadow entirely and just uses the OMNI sign. I really like this design (obviously...it was the template for the others). It's simple and makes me wonder, "What's going on here?" If I picked a favorite, it would probably be either the fourth or fifth versions.

Of course, as I wrote earlier...all of this is a moot point. If either of these books ever gets published by a major house, you can bet the covers will look absolutely nothing like the ones I've shared with you today.

The Writing Process

2011-01-08T10:40:00.003-05:00

I don't always feel qualified to share tips about the writing process. After all, sometimes I barely feel like a writer at all. I will go long periods--usually days, but sometimes weeks--without churning out anything new, revising anything I've written, or re-reading something I'm working on.

Most writers will tell you that the key to being successful is to write a little bit each day. Many will tell you to churn out a certain amount of words each day of the week or to set aside two or three hours a day for writing. It's sound advice and something I struggle with. You know how it is...you get up late one day and suddenly it's time to go to work. You get home after a hard day and the last thing you want to do after sitting in front of a computer all day is to sit in front of a computer for a few more hours. Plus, there's all that stuff in the DVR...

So the word count/time devotion method is hard for me to stick to and that's probably to my detriment. A lot of writers will tell you that the important thing is to write something even if it's short. Even a poem or a brief reflection piece is better than nothing. I often fail at doing this.

I try to keep my writing tools sharp every day, and since I work in TV news, I write something every day. The things I write aren't usually creative...they're news stories, full of buzzwords and condensed information that sometimes isn't even all that helpful (just ask my buddy Chris over at Write Now Indy). That being said, at least I'm writing something, I suppose.

In terms of writing productivity, I'm a streak shooter...a clutch assassin like Reggie Miller. I have my off games when I don't make my average, but I make up for it with huge bursts of creativity. When the game's on the line, I come through with a story idea or a good plot twist that makes something interesting. Three weeks ago, for example, I didn't write anything on Monday. Or Tuesday.

Sometimes you miss ten straight, sometimes you make ten straight.
Then I saw some anthology series with open submissions and that sparked some ideas. By the end of the week, two finished short stories--"Last Stand on Cyclonus Seven" and "Grisham's Council"--blasted from my fingertips. Those two stories totaled about 13,500 words (that's about 70 pages double-spaced in Microsoft Word). A third short story called "To the Infinity Room!" also came out. That story flowed out easily until I got about 2,500 words in (if you catch a theme here, do know that writing is all about word counts when it comes to marking progress). After that, I hit a little bit of a brick wall.

Where did I want the story to go next?

So, I put that story aside, brought out my trusty notebook (the same one where I found this writing from high school) and started sketching out ideas for how I wanted the story to progress. After about an hour, I had a rough outline detailing the next few scenes. As I sit in front of my computer on this Saturday morning, I know it's time to return to "To the Infinity Room!" because I'm inspired and I know where the story is going to go.

I'm certainly not a counter-culture type of guy--most people would tell you that I belong more in the 1950s than the 21st century--but the daily word count and set hours of writing advice doesn't usually work for me. I've tried it, put on music, disconnected my wireless ethernet card to avoid distractions, and then stared at the wall while hoping to see the paint dry some more. To continue the Reggie Miller analogy, suddenly I'm chucking up three-pointers and they're bouncing off the front of the rim, clanking off the back of the rim, rolling in and out, and catching nothing but air (accompanied by a raucous "AIRBALL... AIRBALL... AIRBALL" chant from an imaginary crowd).

This is writer's block.
An hour later, I see something that sparks an idea or a long-dormant story concept fires off in my brain, and I'm sitting in front of the keyboard as characters and worlds come to life. In basketball terms, I'm "in the zone"...in Reggie Miller terms, I'm taking it to the New York Knicks.

Off the dribble...SWISH!

Off the screen...SWISH!

With the fadeaway...SWISH!

Just like that, the words come by the thousands.
It's not the prescribed method (in fact, it goes against almost every piece of advice you'll find when authors talk about their writing process), but it's what works for me. That's why I think it's important to find your own writing method and your own muse.

Dust off your playoff shoes...

2011-01-07T12:22:00.000-05:00

Dust off your playoff shoes, take out your horsehead hat, and get ready to get loud!

It's playoff time! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COLTS!

BELIEVE!

Not off the press, Second Edition

2011-01-07T04:12:00.004-05:00

When the Colts played the Jets last year, I made a series of front pages for the Indianapolis Star with possible headlines for the game. I did the same thing this year...and made them even bigger.

Which one do you think tells the story?

So, what are you working on?

2011-01-06T13:10:00.005-05:00

What do you write?

It's a question I often get after telling someone I want to be a writer. Actually, I might be able to actually claim now that I'm a writer, now that I've had four stories published. However, I still have a day job that requires most of my time, so for now, I'll stick with "I want to be a writer" or "writing is my hobby" or "I write on the side."

Still, when people ask me what I write, my default answer is usually "I write science fiction and fantasy." It's a broad category, but it gives people a decent idea of what I'm doing. I write genre fiction, geek stuff. I'm a geek...and my writing reflects that. You won't see flowery prose that spans nine pages about the awe-inspiring beauty of a sunset in my work. It's not that I'm not capable of it...it's just that if I open a book and suffer through nine pages of that, well...I won't make it through four of them.

I want humor, I want excitement, I want escapism. It's very difficult for me to work on something I wouldn't actually read myself. If that means people look down on my work because I don't write nine pages of thesaurus-fueled hokum about the creepy wrought-iron fence outside the creepy, Victorian home, then so be it. I can still do description, I can still do symbolism with the best of them.

I know my writing isn't perfect. In April, I became obsessed with short stories. I don't know when that happened, but I kept churning them out and churning them out. Since then, I've written approximately 25 pieces of short fiction. I look back on some of my early ones, and I see things I can improve upon. Characterization, setting, description, plotting, pacing, wordiness, flow, and dialogue are just a few facets of my writing that need improvement.

Like any other writer, I've faced rejection. The other day, I received a quick, terse reply about a story I submitted. The story, "Swatch, Guardian of Time," is a farce about a goofy Time Ranger tasked with stopping an important event in the past. The Time Ranger, Swatch, has a short attention span, is obsessed with 80s pop culture, and fails utterly in his given task. The story is supposed to be absurd, yet I got a rejection note saying the reader couldn't make it past the first page because "it's clear the author doesn't take this story seriously, and if the author doesn't take his work seriously, how can he ask the reader to?"

A quick note to the reader: I'm not asking you to take it seriously. That's the point of the story...it's supposed to be goofy. It's supposed to make you smile. What it means is that the story failed to connect with that particular reader. I sent "Swatch" to another editor who raved about the story...calling it "humorous, well written, and completely unique." The editor ended up passing on it...but said to keep sending it out, because he had no doubt someone would publish it.

I'm not really sure what I'm writing about here...but the point is that I'm still feeling my way around. I've tasted some success and I expect to find more; in addition, I also expect to taste plenty of rejection and disappointment. Not everyone will like every word I write; it is the nature of the beast.

Now, I have digressed greatly from the original question posed at the beginning of this little diatribe.

"What do you write?"

Here's the ultimate answer to that question:

NOVELS

I, Crimsonstreak: After busting out of an institution for the “criminally insane,” superhero Crimsonstreak emerges to find his power-drunk father in charge of the entire world. Forced to team up with a wet-behind-the-ears, teenage superhero wannabe and the boy’s proper butler, Crimsonstreak must rely on his super-speed and wits to confront his father and set the world right again. (third revision)

The Franchise: Chelsea Davis knew the company mantra: “Stop criminals. Fight crime. Save the world.”

But the new employee is having a much different experience at OMNI Corporation, the world’s first and only fully-licensed hero-for-hire franchise. Instead of taking on the bad guys, she’s vanquishing paperwork and crusading against office boredom.

Before long, business heats up and Chelsea uses her mastery over fire to extinguish a blazing inferno and snuff out an escaped supervillain. That’s the frying pan. The fire? Top-level OMNI employees begin disappearing at a rate unheard of at a company that’s gone years without a workplace accident.

Smelling smoke and sensing fire, Chelsea begins to suspect a company-wide conspiracy. But her co-workers refuse to believe the “paranoid new girl.” With no other option, she teams up with an outlaw, old-school “mystery man” who may or may not have her best interests at heart.

Together, the unlikely allies follow a smoking trail of evidence that billows toward the highest levels of OMNI Corporation, unleashing a fire not even Chelsea can put out. (fourth revision)

Sheridan's Hammer: Stranded for ten years on a war-torn planet controlled by oppressive religious zealots, former intergalactic gladiator Sheridan has one goal: to get home. Now a low-paid media systems installer, Sheridan visits a customer with ties to a growing insurgency. Plunged into the middle of a vicious fight between the warring religious factions, he brushes aside his lifelong vow of neutrality, agreeing to lead a daring rescue mission guaranteed to end of his ten-year exile, one way or another. (second revision)

Seven: Mired in baseball obscurity for two decades, a small-market pro baseball team welcomes a new addition known only as "Seven." The new player is a media sensation; a hit with fans and teammates alike. But mystery shrouds the player with no name and no hometown, threatening to derail a championship season and bring the sports world to its knees. (fourth revision)

Red Plague: A man materializes at a county fair in the Midwest before collapsing, spreading a deadly new strain of bubonic plague that begins sweeping across the world. As millions die, CDC specialist Anna Manning stumbles across a startling discovery: the disease appears to have been genetically altered in the past. The revelation dredges up painful memories of the Cold War and forces Anna to travel back in time, the fate of humanity resting on her shoulders. (incomplete)

17th Parallel: A burnout. That’s what they called Marshall Drew. Once a promising young quarterback, he let the temptations of the good life destroy his hall of fame prospects. When a talent scout comes to his hometown offering one last shot at gridiron glory, Marshall agrees, triggering events that offer football immortality at an unimaginable price. (incomplete)

SCREENPLAY

College Radio: The beleaguered general manager of a small college radio station battles a power-hungry school board chairman who wants to wrest control away from students to promote his political agenda.

SHORT STORIES

The Villain: The Blue Avenger and his arch-nemesis Heckler engage in their final showdown, and it looks like the villain has the upper hand. Memories of their past encounters assault the Avenger, who retraces the bitter steps leading up to their final fight, culminating in a desperate act that will forever redefine the hero's crusade against crime.

Cabin Boy's New Gig: A distraught sidekick strikes it out on his own, adopting a new name and finding his own city to protect. Broke and disillusioned, he brushes aside an offer for help from his mentor. He soon realizes the long, inescapable shadow the man cast in his life.

Swatch: Guardian of Time: With most members of the Time Rangers on vacation, Madame Timeweaver begrudgingly enlists Swatch to preside over a vital mission. Determined to prove his worth, the easily-distracted Swatch screws up the mission and scrambles to find a solution in the Temporal Mists.

Shatterforce's New Chapter: A retired, burned-out superhero named Shatterforce roams the convention circuit and struggles to make a buck while grappling with her growing obsolescence. Fate gives her one last adventure after she witnesses the abduction of a child at a convention.

In Memoriam: The loss of a firefighter stings a community; more so, after the man's double-life as the mysterious "Wraith" is revealed. Those who know the man mourn his passing during a memorial service and all witness a chilling sight that defies explanation.

I Took Over the World for This? Dementius has finally beaten the good guys and taken over the world. Instead of groveling at his feet, his subjects seem more concerned with border disputes, petitions for universal health care, and other petty concerns, leaving the ruler to wonder what compelled him to take over the world in the first place.

The Journalist: It started as a joke...that beautiful socialite Meg Maguire shared the same identity as the mysterious White Knight. Now, reporter Freddy Rodriguez is convinced he's stumbled across the story of the century...and six months of research appear to prove him right. His dogged pursuit leads him to confront the socialite in hopes of confirming the story once and for all.

The Washout: The Supervillain Relocation Program depowers Darren and assigns him to wash recreational vehicles at a second-rate RV Dealership where he bows to the will of his bossy supervisor. When one of the heroes who put him away walks into the dealership, Darren relishes his good fortune and formulates a plan to exact a small measure of revenge.

The Stuntman: Thrilled that Hollywood plans to make a movie about his life as the Amazing Marvel, Stan presses his agent to land him the starring role. The producers have a different idea, hiring a rising, hot-shot star, and relegating Stan to the role of indestructible stuntman.

The Policeman: After the police department hires a contingent of super-powered rookies, a veteran officer learns he'll soon be forced into early retirement. As he contemplates his career options, he and the rooks confront a string of robberies that only a little old-fashioned police work can solve.

The Bank Loan: Frustrated at his inability to get a bank loan, Baron Gallant confronts the loan officer who refused to sign off on his request. The loan officer soon learns why the superhero needs the money after Gallant's rival begins ransacking the city.

Elf Hunt: Two accountants join an exclusive hunting expedition where elves are the main target. When their hard-nosed tour leader is killed, the accountants find they're the ones being hunted.

Baz Ramen and His Great Intergalactic Band: A news magazine reporter traces the rise of the galaxy's most famous band and unravels the shocking series of events leading to the popular group's fall from grace.

The Garbage Collectors: A father and daughter run a garbage scow, accepting a mysterious contract for a pickup that puts them at the center of a fearsome mercenary's plot for revenge.

Should've Stuck with the Chicken Story: A TV news reporter and his trusty photographer scoff at the chicken wing shortage story they're forced to cover...until a strange outbreak of mindless, hulking creatures leads them to reconsider their opinion of the story.

The Artifact: Two rival galactic barons fight for a legendary artifact rumored to have resurfaced on a distant planet.

The Commentator: A holo-network commentator stirs up controversy concerning a peace deal between his planet's government and a neighboring planetary system. His pointed comments create a cult of personality, leading to a violent uprising with unintended political consequences.

Observer of History: A college student is given the chance to change one world-altering historical event for the betterment of mankind. He decides to stop the assassination of John F. Kennedy, and returns to a future much different from the one he imagined.

A Wing and a Plan: A superintelligent penguin declares war on humanity, citing the human race's mistreatment of penguin kind. He works to raise an army of penguin super soldiers, until the foibles of his own kind unwittingly befall him.

Last Stand on Cyclonus Seven: Cyclonus Seven was just an orange blot on the star chart; an easily-skipped stopover on the way to Earth. But when an overwhelming army storms the planet, a single guardian knows the truth: if Cyclonus Seven falls, Earth follows suit. Fifty-two heroes arrive to answer the distress call. They are greatly outnumbered, hopelessly fractured, and desperately low on time. But wave after wave, fallen comrade after fallen comrade, they fight knowing that victory means sacrifice and death. Everyone would remember Cyclonus Seven. And no one would forget the last stand.

Sparky Save the World A cargo inspector trains his former partner-turned-zombie to sniff out foreign objects coming through America's ports. When the sniffer, Sparky, stumbles across a large and dangerous shipment, he goes to tremendous lengths to save his partner and the world.

The Courtship of LavaFrost: Two supervillain rivals, one who controls ice and the other who controls fire, vie for the services of a super-powered woman capable of commanding both elements. Their efforts to secure her services run lukewarm until she makes a final decision that both chills and inflames.

Absolution: Paralyzed after saving a woman under attack by two thugs, a man gets a second chance from on high. Armed with a divine mandate, he takes the name "Absolution" and embarks on a single-minded quest to rid the world of the wicked and corrupt.

SimCo Makes Life Better: A boy's parents head off for an important diplomatic mission, leaving him home alone with a new robot servant. When the 'bot starts to show signs of emotion, the boy thinks his new friend is becoming self-aware until the machine's true intentions come to light.

Gus and Mariel: Gus, a puffin who spent his whole life in captivity, falls in love with a bird named Mariel who arrives from the outside world. When she is suddenly taken away, Gus escapes and stumbles into radioactive goo that makes him the size of building. He goes on a single-minded quest to reunite with his lost love while unwittingly leaving behind a trail of destruction.

Studicus Selects 2010

2011-01-03T21:47:00.002-05:00

There are the Oscars, the Golden Globes, the Grammys, the People's Choice Awards, the CMAs, and every other prestigious award you can think of. And then, there's the most prestigious award of all: the Studicus Selects 2010, a random collection showing the ups and downs of the year through pictures, videos, and other stuff. I mean, we're talking high-class.

I usually do this on the cusp of the New Year, but as I was sick last week, I didn't get around to it. So now I proudly present: Studicus Selects 2010.

A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone!

(You can check out the Studicus Selects archives below. Scroll down for this year's "winners.")

Studicus Selects 2009

Studicus Selects 2008

Studicus Selects 2007

Studicus Selects 2005

Worst Upgrade, Cell Phone Category: I upgraded my iPhone 3G to the new iOS and let me tell you, my phone did not like that; not at all. Programs stuttered, the Netflix streaming video app didn't stream more than five seconds at a time, and my phone laughed at me when I tried to multi-task. I downgraded my phone to the previous iOS (hey, internet tutorials are fun!)...and then realized I hadn't saved my phone contacts anywhere. If you haven't heard from me in a while, now you know why: I lost your phone number because I am stupid.

Best Video Game Sequel, Games I've Played Category: Mass Effect 2. I loved the first Mass Effect game. I beat it four different times with four different Commander Shepards. I beat it on its hardest difficulty...something a reflex-challenged video game chump like me only does when he loves a game. Mass Effect 2 wasn't quite as thrilling as the first game...there's something about the first part of a series that's so satisfying, to dip into a new world you knew nothing about before and immerse yourself in it. Mass Effect 2 didn't have that effect on me because there weren't as many "new" things to discover. I still played the crap out of it and even liked the stupid mini-game where you scan for elements. The hardest difficulty setting kicked my butt, however.

Best Video Game, Nostalgia CategoryBOOMSHAKALAKA! NBA Jam returned this year, thanks to EA Sports and greed. There's a long story about this...NBA Jam was originally going to be a Nintendo Wii exclusive and a downloadable game for the Xbox 360 and PS3. However, the new NBA game that EA planned to pawn off on fans--NBA Elite--turned out to be a flaming dog-bag of crap, and EA decided to cancel the game. NBA Jam became a full-fledged title for the two HD systems. I haven't played all the way through it yet, but I can kind of dominate with the Pacers as Danny Granger and Mike Dunleavy. HE'S ON FIIIIIIIIRE!

Biggest Letdown, Cinematic Experience: Iron Man 2. I loved the first Iron Man. Loved, loved, loved. So, my expectations where unrealistically high for the sequel, which packed too many new characters into a movie that also tried desperately to be the setup for the mega-team-up "Avengers" movie. I watched it again the other day--it's a good movie--but it's missing some of the "fun factor" that the first Iron Man had. It just feels like they tried to pack in too much stuff, Tony Stark wasn't quite as likable of a rogue, and the middle of the movie dragged tremendously. I didn't hate it...but I wasn't enamored with it either.

Best Purchase, Entertainment Category: I'm an amateur Photoshopper and even more amateur video editor. So amateur, in fact, that I do not use Photoshop, but actually Corel Paintshop Photo Pro X3 (actually, I used to use Ulead Photoimpact, but when I got a new computer, the license wouldn't transfer, so I had to buy a new program). I also played around with the demo for Corel Videostudio Pro...and discovered a bundle deal that included both programs for a good price. So, I started churning out videos (all of them are embedded below). I haven't put together a video in a while because I've been writing a lot more...but there's also the fact that the Colts haven't lost a game since I stopped producing them. So there's that.

Most Surprising Non-Award, Non-Existent Writing Career: If 2010 was anything, it was the Year I Wrote. The coolest thing was seeing four of my short stories get published in separate anthology series. The "non-award" referenced in the title concerns the story "In Memoriam," which took the coveted Editor's Choice award in the Autumn Issue of "A Thousand Faces." Other stories--"The Bank Loan," "Rise of the Super-Hero," and "The Stuntman"--were also published (see here and here).

Here's a brief summary of each story that's found its way into print this year:

In Memoriam: The loss of a firefighter stings a community; more so, after the man's double-life as the mysterious "Wraith" is revealed. Those who know the man mourn his passing during a memorial service and all witness a chilling sight that defies explanation.

The Stuntman: Thrilled that Hollywood plans to make a movie about his life as the Amazing Marvel, Stan Kirkpatrick presses his agent to land him the starring role. The producers have a different idea, hiring a rising, hot-shot star, and relegating Stan to the role of indestructible stuntman.

The Bank Loan: Frustrated at his inability to get a bank loan, Baron Gallant confronts the loan officer who refused to sign off on his request. The loan officer soon learns why the superhero needs the money after Gallant's rival begins ransacking the city.

Dawn of the Super-hero: Over the course of an extraordinary week in the 1930s, a Midwesterner learns about the rise of super-powered beings around the country through newspaper accounts and radio reports. But when the world's first "super-villain" threatens to destroy New York, the man's thirst for knowledge is overtaken by his will to act.

And, perhaps more exciting, I'm not finished yet! Two more stories have been accepted for publication in 2011. One of them comes along with an actual check!

The Villain: The Blue Avenger and his arch-nemesis Heckler engage in their final showdown, and it looks like the villain has the upper hand. Memories of their past encounters assault the Avenger, who retraces the bitter steps leading up to their final fight, culminating in a desperate act that will forever redefine the hero's crusade against crime.

Absolution: Paralyzed after saving a woman under attack by two thugs, a man gets a second chance from on high. Armed with a divine mandate, he takes the name "Absolution" and embarks on a single-minded quest to rid the world of the wicked and corrupt.

Best Investment, Non-Existent Writing Career: I attended the 2010 Midwest Writers Workshop, and it was money well spent. I learned a lot about the writing business, got some good advice, had my work critiqued by a couple of agents, and even had a request for one of my book manuscripts. The request didn't pan out, but it means that I'm on the right track when it comes to pitching my work, writing summaries, and formulating my book synopsis. I'm especially tickled by the following picture showing yours truly sitting with author Dan Johnson during a round-robin table discussion!

Biggest Letdown, Sporting Event: Let's face it, 2010 didn't get off to the best start. First, the Colts lost to the New Orleans Saints in the Super Bowl, spawning that commercial showing Tracy Porter's interception that plays 8,000 times during an NFL broadcast. It's like a knife jabbed in my back...and then twisted, twisted, and twisted. BUT WAIT! There's a tie for this category: Butler's heartbreaking loss in the NCAA Championship Game. Oh man...the Bulldogs will probably never, ever get there again. Coach Norman Dale even provided the team with some reminders, but Butler couldn't pull it off. Although, thanks to Sports Science for interrupting the Butler-Duke rematch to show us how close Gordon Hayward's shot almost came to going in. That didn't sting at all. I'm still proud of both teams...it's just, when you get there, you need to make the most of it. You never know when you'll get there again.

Best Purchase, Reliable Auto Category: After my Pontiac Grand Am betrayed me, I had to do something drastic. I'm talking something Fredo-style. So I took Grand Am fishing...and...well, you know the rest. In his place came our 2008 Hyundai Sonata. It's quiet, fuel-efficient, and awesome. I'm a boring guy, and it's a boring car. We're a perfect match.

Longest Ear-Chewing Moment, Wife Category My wife went on an epic journey to Sandusky, Ohio, to see a man I've barely even heard of. His name is Peter Facinelli and the ladies tell me he's oh-so-good-looking (and from Twilight). Six hours, two bathroom breaks, and two trip-interrupting train stops later, she and a friend stood in line to see Mr. Heartthrob himself. Hugs were given, autographs were signed, and I haven't heard the end of it. STILL.

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - December 24

2010-12-24T08:00:00.009-05:00

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day: Christmas Edition concludes with a "classic" from the great governor of the state of California, the inimitable Arnold Schwarzenegger. "Jingle All the Way" tells the story of a desperate father who runs all over town trying to find a Turbo Man action figure for his son. He encounters crowds, crazy, violent Santas, and Sinbad.

Comedic hilarity ensues. Is there even a memorable quote from this movie? I guess this one will have to suffice:

"I'm not a pervert! I was just looking for a Turbo Man doll!"

Yes...the final Christmas quote of the day was about as halfhearted as this movie's attempts at humor. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - December 23

2010-12-23T12:37:00.000-05:00

The "official" observance of the fake holiday of Festivus falls on December 23rd (Christmas Eve Eve)...which happens to be today.

As the Festivus episode of Seinfeld (which is titled "The Strike" and NOT "The Festivus") tells us, Frank Constanza created the holiday after going blow-for-blow with another shopper as he tried to buy a doll for his son George. The holiday involves an aluminum pole ("I find tinsel distracting"), the Airing of Grievances, and the Feats of Strength ("Until you pin me, George, Festivus is not over").

I leave you today with two of my favorite quotes from my favorite Seinfeld episode...

"The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people. Now, you're gonna hear about it."

"It's a Festivus miracle!"

Neil Diamond Star Wars Concert Tour

2010-12-22T22:59:00.007-05:00

I'm a bit of a Neil Diamond fan.

I'm not ashamed of it...mostly.

It all started like this: one time, long ago, my brother and I saw one of those stupid commercials for a "greatest hits" collection of Neil Diamond songs. It was your classic early 90s cheese-fest, complete with stupid dissolves, a horrid voice over, and a scrolling list of songs. My "favorite" part was the Neil Diamond "Sweet Caroline" dance in which the intrepid singer shuffled from side to side as he sang. We made soooooooo much fun of Neil Diamond in that commercial.

So, one day, my mother and I went on a shopping trip out of town. You see, we didn't have a Best Buy in Richmond, Indiana, so going to one out of town was a big deal. I found a Neil Diamond CD on the discount rack--not THE Neil Diamond CD from the commercials, but close enough--and bought it as a gag for my brother. We laughed, we did the "Sweet Caroline" dance, we imitated the stupid voice over.

Then I did something incredibly stupid. I pulled off the cellophane wrapped around the case, opened it, and put the Neil Diamond CD (it was "Hot August Night II") into my CD player.

Suddenly, I wasn't laughing at Neil Diamond anymore. This man was a genius...a Jewish Elvis, as some call him. I was hooked. Since then, if I'm in a bad mood, I put in Neil Diamond. If I'm on a road trip, I put in Neil Diamond. I own several CDs, his "In My Lifetime" box set, and the six-disc "Stages" live collection. I bought "The Jazz Singer" on VHS after learning of its existence. I upgraded to DVD a few years ago.

The CD that launched a thousand tears...first, tears of laughter...then, tears of regret.
I've been to four of his concerts (one with a high school buddy, one with my mother, and two with my wife). I even infected one of my friends with the NLD virus (that would be Neil Leslie Diamond Virus...which sounds like an STD...maybe I should've phrased that better). That's right, one of my best friends in all the world became obsessed with the Neil-ness himself. We were the guys from "Saving Silverman"...although the third member of our friendship triumvirate wouldn't have any of it.

Anyone who knows me is aware that I have another love: Star Wars. And really...Neil Diamond and Star Wars don't mesh AT ALL. That didn't stop me; I worked to combine the two...nearly sailing too close to the sun on wings of pastrami like George Costanza when he tried to incorporate food and TV into his lovemaking ("Yeah, that's what you did"). I made it work: the Neil Diamond Star Wars Concert Tour was born.

I have absolutely no musical talent...my brother has enough of it for the both of us...but I am a fairly shoddy lyricist. So I concentrated on the ancient art of "the filk," which sounds like a dirty word, but is actually a term used to describe what happens when you replace the lyrics of a song with some of your own.

Suddenly, "Sweet Caroline" became "Sweet Palpatine" (this is before the Star Wars prequel era, thus, I deemed it PALPA-TYNE, and not PALPA-TEEN), "I am...I said" was transformed into the mournful "I am...Emperor," "Cracklin' Rosie" became "Cap'n Solo," and "America" became "Dagobah."

Neil would've made the Ewok celebration from ROTJ so much better.
Using the moniker "Studicus," I submitted these lyrics to the venerable Star Wars fansite, TheForce.net, which posted them under the "musical humor" section (I was going to provide the link, but for some reason it wouldn't work; I provided a screen cap from TheForce.net instead). This was probably the first time I used the name "Studicus" on the net. This was back in high school...probably my sophomore year.

"Sweet Palpatine" won the Golden Rebo Award for "Best Filk" in Star Wars Insider Magazine. I'm not joking.
The Neil Diamond Star Wars Concert Tour also made a cameo appearance in a silly video I made for a broadcasting class when I was a sophomore in college. It was a brief snippet--probably 15-30 seconds long--but the concept made me think about expanding it into something more.

Flash-forward to today, and the Neil Diamond Star Wars Concert Tour lives, thanks to some video- and photo-editing software I purchased, a few Neil Diamond karaoke songs I discovered, and the general obsessiveness of a fan determined to combine two things he loved into one gigantic valentine to Neil Diamond and Star Wars.

The fact that I'm also a complete and utter dork probably helps as well.

Enjoy...and props to my ever-so-patient wife for doing the voice work.

Just think: if I hadn't purchased that Neil Diamond CD at Best Buy as a joke, you wouldn't be reading this and the "Neil Diamond Star Wars Concert Tour" would not exist. A better world? Perhaps...

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - December 22

2010-12-22T10:06:00.001-05:00

His war hero brother already declared him the richest man in town, but that's not the line most people remember from "It's a Wonderful Life." That honor goes to this one, which comes near the very end of the movie.

Clarence, the lovable, angelic screw-up that he is, has been trying to earn his wings for years (we could be talking millennia here, folks). They have eluded him for so long...but his efforts to save George Bailey have finally done the trick. At one point in the movie, Clarence tells George that every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. And during the climactic scene, little Zuzu repeats the phrase...and George realizes that Clarence finally did it!

Zuzu: "Look, Daddy! Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings!"

George: "That's right! That's right! Atta boy, Clarence!"

In the upcoming remake, Jack Black plays George Bailey, Chris Pine is little brother Harry, and Ben Stiller portrays Clarence (his Clarence, shockingly, is a neurotic klutz). Zuzu's line is also updated for the 21st century; when her smartphone beeps, she declares: "Everytime a phone tweets, an angel gets its wings."

Powers now on Amazon.com!

2010-12-21T13:25:00.003-05:00

The Powers Anthology is now available on Amazon.com!

You can also find it at the Pill Hill Press website.

Powers contains 17 superheroic tales from writers of all different backgrounds. Some will break your heart, some will thrill you, and one will likely make you wonder why the author isn't considering a different direction for his career (that would be the author of "The Stuntman" on page 123).

Here's a quick summary of my contribution:

Thrilled that Hollywood plans to make a movie about his life as the Amazing Marvel, Stan Kirkpatrick presses his agent to land him the starring role. But the producers have a different idea, hiring a rising, hot-shot star, and relegating Stan to the role of indestructible stuntman.

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - December 21

2010-12-21T13:09:00.000-05:00

"White Christmas" is phenomenal. I've written about that before. While there's plenty of time for dancing and singing, the simple story of General Waverly warms the heart. The broken-down, old general, now owner of a less-than-successful inn, gets a reminder of how much he is admired--and yes, loved--by his former soldiers. It's all thanks to Bob Wallace and Phil Davis.

And you can't tell me their effort wasn't worth it...the look on General Waverly's face at the end is sure to put a lump in your throat and make sure those tear ducts are working.

"We'll follow the Old Man wherever he wants to go
Long as he wants to go opposite to the foe!

We'll stay with the Old Man wherever he wants to stay
Long as he stays away from the battle's fray!

Because we love him, we love him!
Especially when he keeps us on the ball!

And we'll tell the kiddies we answered duty's call
With the grandest son of a soldier of them all!"

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - December 20

2010-12-20T10:22:00.000-05:00

Christmas snow is a special kind of snow, endowed with magical powers that can make a snowman come to life. I've never experienced this firsthand--most of my snowmen tended to look a little Picasso-esque in my youth--but if you build a snowman out of Christmas snow, find a hat from a washed-up magician, and then truly believe in the magic of Christmas, yes, your snowman will come to life.

That's the point of the 1969 Rankin-Bass classic "Frosty the Snowman." Narrated by Jimmy Durante, the cartoon tells the story of a lovable snowman who befriends a group of school children when he comes to life via a magic hat. The cartoon gets a little traumatic--Frosty melts away in the end--but ends on a hopeful note that the kindhearted snowman "will be back again next year."

In the song, Frosty "begins to dance around" when the magic hat is placed atop his head. However, in the cartoon, the wise snowman gives the kids an avalanche of philosophical advice.

Okay, not really. He leaves them with this cryptic message instead:

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

A subtle hint reminding people of the true meaning of Christmas (just whose birthday could Frosty be referring to...)? Or simply a throwaway line to show how goofy Frosty is?

Merry Christmas from The Tick!

2010-12-17T12:12:00.001-05:00

I have a notebook where I keep a lot of story ideas. It's full of things like outlines for books I've been writing, concepts for short stories, character biographies, and a few other odds and ends.

This notebook also contains some inane crap--like statistics for the Fake Purdue Boilermakers that I used to (seriously) write newspaper-length stories about, complete with pictures and sometimes video clips (again, seriously).

But I realized something the other day when I was flipping through the notebook. It's actually from high school. It contains a few aborted attempts at homework assignments, an unfinished journal entry or two, and some random scribblings from my ill-spent youth.

One particular stretch of light pencil scratches needed to be preserved and shared with the masses. It involves my reworking of "The Night Before Christmas" adjusted for the cartoon show "The Tick." I know...it's weird (though perhaps not as weird as writing about a video game football team AT LENGTH -- see here and here).

"The Tick" was a fantastic, early/mid-90s cartoon on Fox. It followed the adventures of a doofy, moronic, well-intentioned, and nigh-invulnerable superhero named the Tick. Along with his sidekick Arthur, the Tick fought evil and usually won. The show poked fun at almost every imaginable superhero cliche and I absolutely loved it. One of my high school buddies and I (you know who you are) were OBSESSED with the show.

And so that obsession turned into the following shoddy verses of rhyme. For the first time in more than a decade, I present to you: The Tick's Night Before Christmas.

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the City
No criminals stirred
The night inherently giddy

Evil was off for the night
This was for certain
But curious children
Still peered through their curtains

With the citizenry nestled
All safe in their beds
Sweet dreams of Christmas
Abuzz in their heads

Die Fledermaus in his black cape
And I in my Sewer Urchin cap
Had just finished arguing
Which one was the sap

When out on the street
There arose a great noise
I sprang from the sewer
With my crime-fighting toys

I hefted the manhole
And stepped onto the street
Then mightily struggled
To stay on my feet

When what to my Urchin goggles
Should be taken aback
But a flying mothman
With a large man on his back

With a big rider
So blue and so thick
I realized that moment
It’s my friend, the Tick!

“On Arthur, keep going!
It’s Christmas Eve, pal!
We’re keeping evil away
And packing some holiday wow!”

“We’re bringing justice
To each house and each hall”
And then Arthur whimpered
“We’re gonna fall!”

Their strange engine of justice
Came to a stop
Then hit the ground
With a thunderous PLOP!

The Tick wiped himself off
And to his sidekick’s chagrin
Ran to a light pole
And started to spin

His azure streak
Flew ‘round the pole
To which Arthur exclaimed
“Watch out! The manhole!”

Quickly I sidestepped
The high-flying Tick
Who dropped into the manhole
His fall shockingly quick

“I am unhurt”
He said in a hurry
“But let’s give out the presents
Before my vision goes blurry”

He was dressed all in blue
From antenna to feet
His blueberry tights
Form-fitting, not quite indiscreet

His smile so white
His pectorals flexing
His height was immense
And inherently vexing

Tall, blue, and strong
Far from an elf
I laughed when I saw him
In spite of my self

With a big blue thumbs up
And Arthur’s pained sigh
He gave indication
Once more they would fly

“Santa’s helpers, chum
That’s what we’ll be
So let’s start performing
Maneuver Fifteen-C”

He climbed onto the moth’s back
And ignored Arthur’s pain
Telling his glum sidekick
Not to complain

They rose into the twilight
Past the Chairface-marred moon
“Merry Christmas!” he thundered
“And to all I say SPOON!”

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - December 17

2010-12-17T11:47:00.001-05:00

Today's quote comes from "A Charlie Brown Christmas," which I completely missed on TV this year. Between the sad, little tree Charlie Brown brings home, Snoopy's decorating hijinks, and the Christmas pageant, it's a true holiday classic.

As Charlie Brown is apt, he becomes a bit depressed with the holiday season, lamenting the glitz and commercialism that have marred the birth of the Savior. Good thing for Charlie Brown--and all of us--that trusty ol' Linus is there to set the record straight.

"And there were in the same country shepherds, abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them! And they were sore afraid ... And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not! For, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all my people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ, the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.'

And suddenly, there was with the angel a multitude of the Heavenly Host praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the Highest, and on Earth peace, and good will toward men.'

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."

Bravo, Linus! Bravo!

Powers Anthology now available!

2010-12-17T01:01:00.000-05:00

After successfully placing a story in the current issue of "A Thousand Faces," I was thrilled to learn another story of mine made it into an anthology...this one an actual, physical book that you can touch and feel and use as a doorstop!

If you click on the cover below, it'll take you to a place where you can buy the book. Of course, I would never ask anyone to do that.

The curious thing about the bookstore is that it doesn't tell you much about the anthology, at least not from what I can tell. You can find the table of contents here. My story, "The Stuntman," is listed second from the bottom.

"The Stuntman" introduces you to superhero extraordinaire Stan Kirkpatrick, who is elated when Hollywood decides to make a big-budget movie about his life. However, Stan soon finds out he won't be playing himself in the movie and is relegated to the role of stuntman. It's much more lighthearted than my last story, "In Memoriam."

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - December 16

2010-12-16T10:12:00.001-05:00

We return to "White Christmas" for a Quote of the Day with a shocking double meaning! Okay...it's not all that shocking...it's just they're singing about snow...and we've got snow outside today.

Man, I need to take a course on segues...

"Snow...Snow...Snow....Snow....SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW."

Snow excites these people. I am not these people.

TFT's Movie Quote of the Day - December 15

2010-12-15T10:42:00.000-05:00

"The Polar Express" -- it seems to be one of those movies you either love or hate. Much of it has to do with how well you stomach computer-generated characters and how much you fear heading into that Uncanny Valley. I've read comments from a lot of reviews that praise the movie's art, but are completely creeped out by the "dead-eye, petrified zombie stare" of the computer-generated characters.

Hey, I know it's not perfect, but characters and their "soulless eyes" don't make me shudder in the least. I happen to like "The Polar Express." Perhaps it's because Tom Hanks plays every role in the movie or maybe it's because there's a Steven Tyler elf in there somewhere. But it probably has more to do with the movie's theme of believing in something no matter what others think, and having that faith rewarded.

"At one time most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe."

I can totally still hear the bell.